And How I Pretty Much Forgot All of Mine

So, my birthday was this weekend, and it was a really fun time. I was able to see my friends in a non-academic setting, enjoy some good food, eat some vegan cupcakes, and read some heartfelt messages in cards. I was also able to legally walk into a liquor store. And I did. I bought myself a pretty inexpensive bottle of red wine and called it a day. But once I walked out of the store, I was kind of surprised by it all. All of a sudden, I can buy alcohol, no questions asked. Well, except the question about my ID. It’s difficult to put into words, but I was pretty blown away by how a mere 24 hours before, I wouldn’t have been allowed to even walk into a certain store, and now I can. It sounds like the smallest observation, but to me this is a pretty big deal because I have a tendency to do things to an extreme for a period of time, and I’m worried that I might have something like an addictive personality (to an extremely small degree). I want to do things that make me feel good, and I want to do them a lot for a long period of time. I had issues with portion control during my freshman year, and I gained about 15 pounds. While the act of eating and filling myself past the point of being full definitely left me feeling sluggish and unhappy, during the moment I felt really good. Another food-related experience deals with my desire to eat for texture rather than to fulfill my hunger. During the last few semesters, I would get a frozen yogurt almost every day just because I liked chewing sprinkles. Now, this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but reflecting on my eating habits, I’m pretty shocked by that. It’s extremely unhealthy and I’d feel miserable after eating them. There is no way today I could even handle eating one cup of ice cream in one sitting, let alone eating one cup of it every single day.

Alcohol is something that makes people feel good. It’s one reason why people drink it. And I can definitely see myself indulging in this activity. It’s really simple to do. I can go to a restaurant for lunch and order some yummy drink and sip it over an hour. And the same day, I can go another restaurant for dinner and order another drink. And then later than night, I can go out to a gathering and drink even more. Again, this might not seem like much, but this is coming from someone who can’t even eat a full cupcake anymore without getting the worst stomach aches. To be honest, I’m pretty intimidated by this new type of freedom. There really isn’t much of a way for me to convey how serious I am about this, and I know that this can look like a post with no depth. College is a great place, but it makes drinking seem as though it’s no big deal. I don’t want to allow myself to adhere to that mindset because a “no big deal” activity can quickly turn into an unhealthy habit. I know that I can handle this responsibility well – I’m just a bit nervous since it’s all so new. It’s one thing to be curious about different types of alcohol, but it’s another to rush into trying them all in excess. I know I won’t do that, but it’s just odd that I am the only person responsible for this activity that I’m allowed to do because the sun rose and set enough times.

In terms of other responsibilities, I think I’m doing pretty well. The semester is going smoothly after I dropped a class. I feel so much more relieved and I think I have a handle on my classes. I actually haven’t really turned in anything late… except for this blog post. I’m not perfect, and I’m not making excuses – I just lost track of time. It happens. I’m human. (Please read: don’t kick me out pretty please I’m sorry).