Russia Week 1

It’s weird that just over a week ago, my trip to Russia began with a 9 hour flight to Moscow next to a large, hairy, smelly man.

I can’t say I expected anything else.

Fun fact about Russian airlines though. Their food is gross, they will lose your bags, and cause you to miss your connecting flight (and subsequently not really care that you missed your flight), but they do give you free slippers which is more than any American airline I’ve ever flown with.

After about 30 hours of traveling (including customs, delays, missed flights, jagged conversation with a ticket agent, and filling out a lost baggage claim) I arrived at St. Petersburg Pulkovo Airport and within 2 minutes I was with my host mom, driving off to my new home.

Before I talk about the city itself, I need to direct your attention to a much more important matter.

My host family. More specifically, their cats.

Lord Jesus was looking out for me because he gave me a house with 2 cats–and maybe even a third. I’m still in the process of understanding why there was a new cat in the house yesterday (although its gone today).

Aside from the cats (who love me more than my own cats at home), my host family is a middle aged married couple named Olga and Maxim. They have four kids who are all adults now.

Olga and Maxim are extremely nice, despite my atrocious conversation ability. I swear, the only words I say are “Да” and “хорошо.” In fact, when they asked me how many suitcases I had, I responded by telling them that I had a big family. Instead of telling them the food was delicious, I told them it was “very kitchen.”

Olga makes breakfast and dinner every day. Breakfast is either eggs and bacon or Каша, which is kind of like oatmeal. Although I have also been served corn flakes with hot milk (interesting) and this morning, in an exciting turn of events, barley in a bowl of cold milk. Dinner is usually some combination of chicken, meatballs, potatoes, spaghetti with melted slices of cheese, or barley. Lots of tomatoes, dill, mayo (surprisingly), and cucumbers. Thank the sweet Lord that I have only had to eat jellied fish and salted fish once.

Russian women are incredibly thin. Like you know how you see those size 0’s at H & M and you say to yourself “Gee, what normal looking human woman actually fits into these toothpick sized clothes?” Well, the answer is Russian women. And to complement their tiny little bodies, they wear skin tight dresses and stiletto heels E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. I swear, my feet are sore after a day in Sperry’s, I have no idea how they do it.

But anyways, I’ll give a short synopsis of the days I’ve been here so far.

Day 1: Friday,  June 17

Met my host mom and dad, ate my first Russian meal (soup), slept–jet lag is so real man.

Then went for a stroll to explore the neighborhood. There is an outdoor mall about 10 minutes from my house, and in the middle of it, in the courtyard, there was a street musician playing Ghostbusters. A bunch of (slightly drunk) Russian teens were gathered around having a dance party. It was pretty fun to watch, and Kylie and I (standing off to the side) started clapping along, laughing at how happy everyone was.

Within 5 minutes, a police van pulled up and a three officers got out. They did not look amused. Immediately, the musicians stopped, and began to clean up their stuff, and all the dancing teens scattered. Except for three young men who were in a heated argument with the cops. The next thing we knew, the men were being put into the back of the van and it drove away, leaving a silent courtyard.

So that was probably the most Russian thing that could have happened to me on day 1.

Day 2: Saturday, June 18

Bus tour of the city. We saw the Kazan Catheral, built in the 1800’s, and various other sights around Saint Petersburg. Also, the orientation session. At night, we ate dinner and went for another stroll, although thankfully without any cops.

Day 3: Sunday, June 19

Hermitage Tour! The Hermitage is the world’s largest art museum, housed inside 5 buildings, the most notable of which is the Winter Palace. The art inside is awesome but the palace alone is a work of art. You will notice that I mostly took pictures of the ceilings. This is 1) because there were approximately 478 million people in the museum ruining any pictures of the walls and 2) because I am horrible at photographing anything except square decorated ceilings. Also, I’m amazed that anyone puts that much detail into something that most people won’t even notice. Its pretty cool (and an indicator of how rich you are).

If you want another funny story, watch this one minute video

Day 4: Monday, June 20

Our host parents drove us to the study center, where we take classes for the next 8 weeks. Fun fact, it also doubles as a convent set up by Catherine the Great. Penn State will always be my favorite campus ever, but this is a close second. After taking language placement tests (I was put in Advanced 1 with two others from my class), we took nap.

After dinner, Kylie and I wanted to take a nice walk through the historic heart of the city. We stopped to take pictures at a lion, in front of the navy port, and then 5 Chinese tourists started taking pictures of us on the lion. They were getting at us from all angles, like an Asian papparazzi. I’m not sure what they will do with random pictures of some American girls on a lion, but I guess it was flattering?

In the true fashion of St. Petersburg weather, it started to pour on us 30 minutes into our walk and we had to seek solace under an abandoned souvenirs booth. The rain never really stopped, so we decided we had to tough it out in order to get to the metro before it closed and we were stuck in downtown St. Petersburg. (I live on Vasilesky Island, so once the metro closes at midnight and the bridges go up at 1, you can’t get back to the island until 5:30 a.m.) But during our little trek, we decided on the worst thing about St. Petersburg–the crosswalks. They have crosswalks very sparingly, and weird places, so you end up walking way out of your way to cross the street. We found ourselves at the wrong end of a bridge, in the pouring rain, with no cross walk in sight. Instead of venturing further from the metro stop, we ran across six lanes of traffic, splashing through puddles and getting more than a few stares from Russians.

That’s the last time I venture into the city without an umbrella or a map of city pathways.

Day 5: Tuesday, June 21

First Day of classes! I thought that, as an almost twenty year old, first day of classes would be a piece of cake. No stress, just another day in classes.

As you can imagine, I was wrong.

Today was the first day our host parents were not driving us. We had to take the metro and meet the bus ourselves. There were 2 buses, one at 9:20 and one at 9:30. We got on and off the metro without an issue, but when we got the the curb at 9:18–no bus. We waited another five minutes, but no sign of the bus or any other students. So we walked. 2 miles. In the rain. To the study center.

As you can imagine, showing up late, wet, with frizzy hair and running mascara wasn’t exactly the first impression I wanted to make, but it was anyways.

Classes are long–3 classes a day from 10-3:30. Each class is an hour and a half. I have (throughout the week) Russian conversation, phonetics, current events, grammar, history, and music. After class, Kylie and explored a nearby park and saw the former head building of the Soviet Union. We also went to a grocery store, and got chocolate and milk Nutella-like spread (sounds weird, but its so good with cookies) like real adults.

I’m also going to take a couple minutes to tell you all about the St. Petersburg metro. It is the deepest metro system in the world, which means a 2 1/2 minute escalator ride down from the street to the train. One may be wondering “Gee, 2 1/2 minutes? That’s a long time. However do you keep yourself occupied on this long journey?” The answer my friends, is with random colorful pictures such as the ones below.

Day 6: Wednesday, June 22

On Wednesdays, there is no class. We substitute for an “excursion” day instead. Our excursion this week was a scavenger hunt down Невски Проспект (the main street in St. Petersburg) in order to familiarize ourselves with downtown. Unfortunately, we did not win.

After the scavenger hunt, Kylie and I went to the Kunstkamera, which is the first public museum ever opened in Russia. It is in an anthropology museum primarily, showcasing artifacts from different cultures around the world.

However, there is also an exhibit housing Peter the Great’s personal selection of medical memorabilia. Peter the Great was fascinated with science, and one of the most popular up and coming fields in science at the time was human anatomy. Thus, the exhibit showcases, different body parts, abnormalities of the body, and babies in jars.

Yay Russia.

June 21 was also the day that the Nazi’s began their blockade of Leningrad (Old name for St. Petersburg) during WWII, so there were all sorts of people dressed up, standing in front of old war tanks in Palace square.

After sufficiently filling our tourist picture quota there, we got пышки (Pishki) from an old Soviet bakery on Невски Проспект. Our first google attempt to figure out what pishki were showed only heavy women in lingerie. Being about 90% sure that this wasn’t a bakery full of half nude women, we went in and learned the pishki are actually a donut shaped funnel cake, except more moist inside than an actual funnel cake, and topped with powdered sugar. In short, they are absolutely amazing, and for only 15 Рубели (about 20 cents), they are heaven on earth.

Day 7: Thursday June 23

This morning started with me going for a run around our neighborhood. I am not a very cautious person, but I figured if I was going to be running alone in unfamiliar territory with headphones on, I had to be cautious. About 4 years ago, I read some article that if girls were walking to their cars alone at night, they should hold their keys out between their fingers, so they had some kind of defense against an unforeseen perpetrator. I figured I could do that while I was running. The only problem is that Russian keys (or at least my apartment key) are about 5 inches long. So instead of looking like an inconspicuous female precautionary measure, it looked like I was holding a shank, and was out running and searching for my next victim. Needless to say this tactic quickly fell to the wayside.

After my run, class again. We actually made the bus on time today, so there was no walking 2 miles in the rain fiasco before class. After class, we walked through the Tauride Gardens (near a palace that is now closed as an official government building), saw the Anna Axmatova momument, Monument for victims of political repression, and Большой Дом, the former HQ of the KGB.

Today, we realized that Russians do not smile for pictures. They just stand in front of important landmarks and stare with a blank face. In an attempt to become one with Mother Russia, we adopt this pose into some of our pictures.

Thursday night was also the night that Kylie and I ate sunflower seeds whole (with the shells). We aren’t idiots. We know that you are supposed to take the shells off, but we both think it tastes better with the shells on. However, when Olga and Maxim witnessed this, they were horrified and thought we didn’t know how to eat them right, so they demonstrated for us.

Just a little embarrassing.

Tonight I also had my first Russian shot. We all toasted with shots (well, Kylie and I had half shots) of some kind of dark liquor. I’m not sure what it was but the alcohol content in that half a shot must have been 100% because it left me gagging, swearing I would not be drinking again for the rest of the trip. Olga and Maxim were unphased, taking two more before dinner was over.

Day 8: Friday, June 24

Woooo! Last day of classes! We watched a Russian chick flick called Peter FM (cheesy, but I loved it.) and in music class, we had to sing a Russian folk song. I didn’t realize my language practice including singing in a foreign language, but if I can put my high school theater days to use, I guess its a good thing. After class, we walked through Alexander Gardens and saw the Russian Naval Academy. We tried to see the vodka museum, but it was closed. Don’t worry, I’ll visit it soon. Then, exhausted from a busy week and still probably a little bit jet lagged, we went to bed at 8 p.m. College life is crazy guys.

Day 9: Saturday, June 25

Today, we went into the city for a guided “Seige of Lenningrad Tour”. During WWII, the Nazi’s blockaded Leningrad for 2 1/2 years, but due to military and civilian efforts, never actually made it into the town. During this time, citizens were starving, without electricity or water. We toured the city looking at it through the lense of WWII–incredibly, the city hasn’t changed that much. St. Petersburg is also home to the largest WWII cemetary in the world, where civilians and soldiers are buried. After this tour, we ate at a fancy Georgian resturant. Then, we strolled through the Yusopov gardens, where we signed a petition to help save a historic landmark (we are just such culture conscious Russian tourists). In the afternoon, we were also able to see the Bronze Horseman, a monument to Peter the Great and Catherine the Great.

Today was also a Russian holiday, Алые паруса, or Scarlet Sails. It celebrates the Russian Navy and is a giant celebration of the graduating high school class too. Because of the White nights (A phenomenon in St. Petersburg where the sun never really sets) people come out at 10 pm and stay until 1 or 2 am (or 5 or 6 if they are feeling really crazy) to watch the fireworks, hear live music, see the red-sailed ships on the Neva, and generally just have a good time.

Those of you who know me may already know that I am not a huge fan of people. Especially big crowds of people. Unfortunately, that’s just what this event was. Thousands of people packing onto small bridges to yell, watch a subpar fireworks show, and block each other’s view of the single ship with red sails.

I will never understand why everyone records fireworks shows on their phones, but when you already can’t see the sky because you are a short girl in a large crowd, you definitely won’t be able to see anything when 1000 cell phones go up at the same time to record it.

Also, my roommate and I were scammed out of all the money we brought with us (about $20 between us) because we got a picture with some tamed doves (not by choice). The pictures are cute but they make me bitter looking at them because of how much they cost.

We finally got home around 3 a.m. exhausted. Its always cool to see another country’s holiday, but this is one I would advise you just stay home for.

Day 10: Sunday, June 26

Today, I spend the day on the bank of the Neva River, reading Crime and Punishment. A pretty Russian way to spend my time.

However, what I thought was a relaxing spot on the riverbank next to Peter and Paul Fortress was also the helicopter launch pad for a tourist company.

What does this mean? Well, about every 20 minutes, a helicopter would fly 40 feet over my head and whip sand and rocks in my face while I was trying to relax.

Lesson learned: I need to find a new riverbank to relax on.

Stay tuned for next week’s installment of “Clumsy American Girl Visits Mother Russia.”