Snow Days
Life’s open-ended questions and unwritten conclusions.
I’ve been talking a lot about destiny lately, asking people their takes on the subject. Do we write our own story or do we simply ride a continuous, scripted timeline of our lives. I would love to chalk everything up to destiny, to have a constant excuse for why things happen. If I really think about it, that’s probably what made me hold on to a thread of religion for so long – not that that is religion’s purpose, simply that I used it as such. And, even now, when I need a little extra luck or hope, I find myself reverting back to it, despite my absolute agnosticism. Maybe that’s where I find benefit in being agnostic over atheist.
So where do we find the answers to destiny, or at least a solid opinion on it? Is it in the moments that we are at our lowest? The moments we can’t control. The ones that, instead, control us and every aspect of our being. Or is it found in the peaks? The moments when everything is going right and we are making the important decisions for ourselves (or so we think). Is destiny more of a fallback for the bad in life or is it a propeller for the good?
I suppose this topic actualized for me after the snow day last Tuesday. I began thinking about the initiative required to do work on free days. Then I started questioning the differences between those who have the initiative and those who don’t, then questioning the idea of success and what it takes, then if/how luck and destiny play into it.
After contemplating the extent to which I would like to consider destiny a factor, I’ve concluded that, to me, it’s not. I don’t want to have to admit that mistakes are fully mine, but at the same time, I enjoy the idea that I control my life. The idea of being able to take credit for the good based on my efforts and hard work seems to outweigh taking credit for the bad, as well.
I’m a worrier. I over analyze almost every situation I encounter and I usually do my head in. Like you, I’ve recently been preoccupied with my life, what I want it to become, and if my wants and desires have any affect on the trajectory of my life. Ultimately, do I believe in destiny? Do all things happen for a reason? I think life happens and that as human beings we have to make the most of it to move forward. Otherwise, we’re left carrying weights in the form of regret, shame, doubt, you know name. Preparing is great. It can make us feel in control and to an extent are in control. However, when I find myself getting caught up in the complexities in life I think of a quote my mom told me when I was younger. It’s from a song called “Wear Sunscreen” in which a man gives the advice of life.
“Don’t worry about the future or worry but know that worrying
Is as affective as trying to solve an algebra equation
By chewing bubble gum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
That never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday”
We can worry all we want but it drains us of the much needed energy we need to get through the day. Like the quote states, it’s ineffective and the real issues in our life are issues we never thought we’d have to deal with. I’ll admit, I haven’t figured out how to truly live the way the song preaches but when I feel similar to the way you seem to be feeling I give it a listen.
It seems like many of us are stumbling upon a similar conundrum. I often think that I have broken the code and have periods of full confidence in my power to control what paths I take in life. Usually that gives way to times in which I experience quite the opposite to be honest. There are drawbacks of being curious and thus interested in a variety of subjects in a society that values quick career climbing and rewards those with a clear ‘passion’ or drive. You can check out Nakul’s blog for a very fresh take on the idea of having a passion.
However, despite the occasional drawbacks and confusion that one can experience, I think it is important never to give up that sense of uncertainty. One usually finds the best opportunities from unexpected sources or circumstances and thus it can be beneficial to avoid locking your life into script. In regards to religion and other orthodoxies (even secular), I agree that it is a fall back that humans naturally gravitate to in confusing times. Arguing for the fact that embracing confusion is beneficial, I am not an advocate of finding comfort in dogma if all it does is shield you from the experience. To answer your question, I think what you call ‘destiny’ can be a propeller for good if you avoid hiding from it. I view success and luck as something you set yourself up for but not specifically plan.