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As an extrovert, my outward, energy-drawn-from-others tendencies have been subconsciously crafted and developed by an education system that is designed for extroverts. It wasn’t until my freshman year of high school that I even learned what the difference between introversion and extroversion was. To be facetious, does our primary education system not want us to reflect on who we are/and how we best work with others?

In a sense, there is a general bias towards being extroverted is an inherent “good” – the myth that leaders need to be people people and gain energy from others and have charisma. Recently, I’ve been reflecting on some disadvantages of being extroverted, especially an extroverted high social monitor. By “high social monitor”, I mean that I am someone who naturally blends into an environment to match the vibe. To avoid conflict or awkwardness, I tend to take on a chameleon-esque form by trying to blend in with the group around me. One side effect of this high social monitoring mixed with a tendency towards extroversion and gaining energy from interacting with the people around me, is a loss of my self. Especially tied back to a high self-monitor – if I am always working to adapt to a situation and molding who I portray myself as, am I really being the genuine me?

I think my natural tendency to be a high self-monitor leads towards a possibly slippery slope of being a people pleaser. Yes, while pleasing others can be rewarding in a variety of ways, by pleasing others first, I may be overlooking pleasing myself.

For those fellow high self-monitor/extroverts/people pleasers (none of these are mutually exclusive), I think one way ive kept myself grounded is by asking myself, is their happiness becoming my happiness – i.e. is my happiness really reflecting my personal feelings?

I want to continue to dig deeper into this topic, as I think that I can often leave my genuine thoughts out of the equation – and by knowing myself better I can make decisions that will bring me towards a greater, more meaningful and fulfilling future.