Monthly Archives: October 2014

Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

It’s hard to say which TEDtalk is my favorite since I unfortunately haven’t really experienced TEDtalks until recently. However, the ones that I have been exposed to and the ones that I explored have been extremely thought provoking and intriguing. Brene Brown’s moving, humorous storytelling on human connection and our ability to empathize, belong, and love due to deep insight on her research that revealed the power of vulnerability stuck out to me in particular. With her personal tale of the struggle of her years of research on this fundamental component of human connection, vulnerability, I was sucked in immediately. Vulnerability is something I absolutely hate. I don’t think anyone in particular likes the feeling of being vulnerable as it is uncomfortable, revealing, and quite honestly avoided at all costs in our society today. However, Brown’s research reveals some shocking results on the importance of this vulnerability.

She started off the talk with the reason we are all here on this world – connection. Starting off the talk with the “meaning of life” topic already got my brain thinking and super interested in where she was going with this. As I was thinking about this we as humans really are here to feel connected and be in relationship with each other and in relationship with the Earth. However, people encompass shame, this fear of disconnection and unworthiness that is something nobody desires to talk about, however, the less you talk about it the more you have of it. With these feelings of I’m not good enough can lead to a vulnerability of insecurity and not allowing yourself to be totally seen as who you are.

This idea of vulnerability intrigued Brown and so she decided to take the results of only the people with worthiness, people that lived that way, seemingly whole-hearted people and found that they were filled with courage, compassion, and connection. However, what stood out even more was they full embraced vulnerability. They had this ability to believe that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. The willingness to say “I love you” first or willingness to present in front of a large crowd or willingness to invest in a relationship that might not work out may not be comfortable but necessary and fundamental. Because we live in a vulnerable world. These people she interviewed saw that vulnerability and tenderness were necessary and walked right into it, creating a birthplace for love, creativity, connection.

Brown was horrified. She was a cut-throat researcher who had a plan and execution strategy for everything so when she discovered the only way to be happy was through vulnerability she had an ultimate breakdown. I mean heading to the best therapist in town kind of breakdown. We as humans, especially in America (as we block out the fact that we are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated in human history), numb vulnerability. However, this is a major problem actually which surprised me and kind of worried me because I tend to block out a lot of the emotions I don’t want to feel like sadness or anger. But Brown points out we cannot selectively numb one emotion; if you numb out the tough ones then you also numb the pleasant ones such as happiness, gratitude, and joy. Then we are miserable, looking for purpose, meaning and connection.

I was going to end the post there but that is just ending on such a sad note! This TEDtalk is not sad don’t worry it is just extremely thought-provoking and stimulating to be aware of this numbing of vulnerability we have in today’s society and the necessity to instead embrace vulnerability in order to live to our full happiness potential. Take risks, feel the vulnerability, and realize that you are sparking creativity, self-confidence, and the ability of connection to others – our ultimate goal as humans!

Is Technology Really Killing Random Acts of Kindness in Kids?

Psychology experts and professionals in the field of early childhood education and development but also maybe some of you who are taking some early education courses have observed a proposed trend that today’s kids are not as empathetic as kids from previous generations. These experts claim that one component of this shift may be due to technology. As more kids are sitting in front of the TV or playing video games instead of engaging in face-to-face interactions, valuable social skills may diminish. Not as used to interacting, playing, and talking to other kids or adults, kids these days may have a kid playing videogameshard time noticing facial expressions, tones of voice and body language that can show different emotions within people so they are unable to react to those feelings in others.

Talking to friends online and not face-to-face makes it harder to detect when the person is sad or experiencing hard times since it is difficult to convey these negative emotions. With this fast paced world revolving around efficient technology, kids are swept up into the fast lifestyle and are not able to stop, slow down, and pay attention to others and how they are feeling. Without stopping and thinking about others and how they are feeling, random acts of kindness would get pushed to the side or even not be known by a lot of kids.

Yet, is this really true? Although many kids may get sucked into the world of technology, this is definitely not the case at all for every child. I don’t agree with the fact that kids are not as kind.  Many kids, with the resources that are now available to them in this day and age, are even more capable of sharing their kindness with a vast audience of others. I think that no matter how technology may alter some behaviors within children, a kind heart is a kind heart. Those that possess this desire to help others will find a way. The video below featuring the students in the Kind Kids Club in Starr Elementary School is a perfect example of kids being passionate about spreading of random acts of kindness. Give it a watch and you will be truly inspired by the random acts of kindness these little first graders do for othersJi'm a kind kid

In Starr Elementary the first grade teacher, creator of the group Kind Kids Club, emphasizes the need for emotional and social growth within schools as the children are going through these developmental stages. By having to do 10 random acts of kindness and then multiple student-run kindness projects through the year as well, the kids are learning how good it feels to help the other kids; doing the random acts of kindness in Kind Kids Club is something that is so exciting for them! They cannot contain their excitement and joy when they do something for another student as they see that those other students are really happy too.

“It is magical to watch these kids faces when they have done something for somebody. Giving something and not getting anything in return but still so excited!”

All first graders, Olivia, Nariyah, and Austin featured in the video created random acts of kindness that they were going to do for the other students in their school. Olivia thought of the idea to make Kindness Capes for the kindergarteners, Nariyah decided to get all of her friends to help make side walk art messages that spread the word of being kind, and Austin made book marks that promoted spreading kindness/happiness and stuck them in random books throughout the library for a lucky student. They could have spent their days after school watching TV or playing video games but instead decided to do things for others. The smiles on these giving, kindhearted kids’ faces when they saw how happy or could anticipate how delighted the recipients of their acts of kindness were or were going to be was enlightening. We as a society need to take some advice from these little kids – spread the kindness in any way you can.

http://z6mag.com/technology/is-technology-killing-kindness-in-kids-1610293.html

 

FREE HUGS Campaign: Sometimes, a hug is all we need

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While I was rushing to class yesterday I noticed a girl standing on Old Main lawn with a Free Hugs sign but thought nothing of it and did not give it much thought as I was frantically running to statistics. However, today, as I was leaving the library, feeling accomplished with the amount of work I was able to finish, I noticed once again that another person was holding another Free Hugs sign. Not in as much of a rush, I was able to stop and observe the situation. I watched as a few brave souls or those just in need of a hug approached the student with the sign, held out their arms, and were engulfed in the much-needed hug.

As he seemed genuine enough I then gained enough courage to approach this student, this stranger, and share a hug—this two-way interaction and symbol of warmth and friendliness. I thought it might be awkward and uncomfortable but it was actually a really good hug! The comforting vibes and the embrace that made me feel protected and shielded was exactly what I needed upon leaving the library on this extremely stressful day. As I walked away, smiling, I was thinking about how I really haven’t hugged anyone since coming to school. The last hug right before my parents pulled away on move-in day was the last physical embrace, the last proof of affection and love. I never realized how much I missed hugging my mom goodnight each night or just having her arms to fall into after a tough day at school. Hugs are so powerful and are something that while at school we fall away from; this is why the free hugs campaign on campus was so effective.

I was intrigued by this vulnerability it takes to stand there with the sign and the motive and thoughts behind it. This idea of standingfreehug on the street with a cardboard cut out of free hugs on it seems to be a new phenomenon as I have seen it multiple times back home in Philadelphia or on the boardwalk at the shore or in the mall. How did it begin? With research I found that the Free Hugs Campaign started with Juan Mann whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives. He went back to his hometown of Sydney but had nobody to greet him, no place to call home so he decided to go to the busiest intersection with his sign saying Free Hugs in the hopes of human interaction to brightening his life as well as those who are also going through struggles. On the campaign website he states “to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time”.

In this age of social-disconnectedness and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became a hit and put smiles on people’s faces across the globe. These hugs are meant to be random acts of kindness—selfless acts performed just to make others feel better. A challenge to you is to give a hug to someone who needs it during these busy times of midterms and homesickness.1

Adichie’s TED talk “We should all be feminists”

As I said in my previous post I went to watch Adichie speak last night, which really sparked this interest in learning more about her views and other works so when we watched her TED talk in class today I was so excited! In the TED talk entitled “We should all be feminists” I found the most powerful components to be when she told her personal stories of being treated as lesser due to the fact that she is a women. Being a natural storyteller, Adichie was obviously able to articulate her tales very well which made them very strong, however, the content was what really moved me. Adichie told the story of how she strived to be the class monitor but the teacher denied her even though she had the highest score on the test because it was “obvious” that the class monitor had to be a boy. This made me sick to my stomach because I can feel the disappointment she must have felt as a little girl, the feelings of not understanding why it has to be this way and why the world was so unfair to girls. And also the fact that this was the “norm” that this was supposed to be “obvious”. This really hit me hard because it is this enforcing of the societal formation of gender roles in our children that continues the cycle of gender inequality.

She then continued with her proposal that we need to raise our boys and girls differently. We cannot let their young developing minds be swayed by these dated stereotypes and labels or the world will never ever change. I liked her stance that this word “feminist” or “feminist movement” is meant for the academic setting this isn’t real life—this isn’t practical change. We have to make change starting with raising the young as not seeing gender as a reason for differences between people or difference in treatment. I found it so true when she remarked that boys are raised to mask their feelings of weakness such as fear so they can be hard men that are “manly” and exhibit the desired societal masculinity. Girls are told to shrink themselves, be successful but not too successful so they do not threaten the power of the men. This was a moment of realization for me as I realized wow this really doesn’t have to be the way it is. Males don’t have to pay for dinner. This is something we are taught and conditioned to believe as necessary but it actually is downgrading and further enforces these unequal gender roles.

The line that still sticks with me from her TED talk was “it is the little things that sting the most” and I totally 100% agree with this. It is the little sexist comments or the slights that replay in your head over and over, hurting just as much as the first time. We live in this world where we aren’t seen as “racist” or “sexist” because we aren’t killing masses of people due to their race, sex, sexual orientation, etc. but we are still doing extreme damage. It is this not as obvious mistreatment that adds up to become this overwhelming oppression that is overlooked and not seen as a problem. In reality, it is even more of a problem. It isn’t clear to a lot of people so we don’t do anything about it—this is such a problem.

Adichie’s TED talk “We should all be feminists” is extremely relatable and has a practical calling for teachings of gender equality within our youth. Definitely give it a watch! Plus check it out in Beyoncé’s song Flawless!!