Swipe Right for Love

Believe it or not, my fiancé Dylan and I met on the dating app tinder. Rather than meeting the old fashioned way where we saw each other across a crowded room and fell in love, we first saw each other on our smartphone screen while flipping through profiles on tinder and swiped right (meaning we both said we were interested in talking to each other on the app which made it a “match”). Once we matched, we chatted back and forth over text for a couple of weeks, and eventually made plans to meet each other in person. Then after a year of dating, we got engaged! We have a wedding set for next August. The popularity of tinder and online dating services is continuously growing, due to a wide variety of motivations from individual users.

Marriages which started online are becoming increasingly more common. Online dating services are now responsible for introducing 1 in 6 married couples (Nelson 2018). However, despite this fact, tinder is not exactly thought of as a place to meet your future husband or wife. In general, it is stereotyped as an app to be used for hookups (meaning casual sexual encounters). However, according to a research study by  Sumter, Vandenbosch, and Ligtenberg, this stereotype is not entirely accurate. “The current study was the first to demonstrate that Tinder should not be seen as merely a fun, hookup app without any strings attached, but as a multifunctional tool that satisfies various needs among emerging adults” (Sumpter et al. 2016). The study uncovered 6 different motivations that cause young adults (18-30) to use tinder: Love, Casual Sex, Ease of Communication, Self-Worth, Validation, Thrill of Excitement, and Trendiness (Sumpter et al. 2016).

What also interests me, is that people’s initial motivation to create a tinder profile may not match their results. For example, while I did find love on tinder, that is not the motivation (as outlined by Sumpter et al) that I would categorize myself under. I have Autism Spectrum Disorder and am very introverted, which can make meeting people in person very difficult for me; because of this, I would categorize my motivation to use tinder was Ease of Communication. A study by Elizabeth Timmermans and Elien De Caluwe actually specifically linked the personality trait of introversion to this motivation. “Introversion (low extraversion) is a personality trait that positively predicts social phobia. Therefore, it is likely that individuals with lower scores on extraversion are more likely to use the application to improve their social skills” (Timmetmans & De Caluwe 2017). I would say this finding definitely matches my own personal experience. Since I struggle making initial romantic connections in person, it helps to do it online and build those skills in an environment where I can take my time to craft responses. In the end though, I didn’t end up needing to build those skills, because I met the love of my life on tinder right away!

When my grandparents asked me where my fiancé and I met, they were very confused when I told them we met online. To them, the concept was very foreign. In fact, if Dylan I had been born in their generation, we likely would have never met. The platform of tinder has created a new landscape for romantic interaction which allows for a wide range of connections that may not have been possible in any other circumstance. Many different motivations bring people onto the app—where they are brought together in an environment where they explore their connections from the comfort of their smartphone. This story of tinder shows that as technology evolves, they way that we interact each other and find love will evolve with it.

Sources

Nelson, A. (2018). Penn State World Campus. PSYCH 424 Applied Social Psychology. Lesson 8: Media/Communications Technology. Retrieved from https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1942493/modules/items/25002532.

Sumter, Sindy R., et al. “Love Me Tinder: Untangling Emerging Adults’ Motivations for Using the Dating Application Tinder.” Telematics and Informatics, vol. 34, no. 1, 2017, pp. 67–78., doi:10.1016/j.tele.2016.04.009.

Timmermans, Elisabeth, and Elien De Caluwé. “To Tinder or Not to Tinder, That’s the Question: An Individual Differences Perspective to Tinder Use and Motives.” Personality and Individual Differences, vol. 110, 2017, pp. 74–79., doi:10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.026.

2 comments

  1. Your application of a dating app is an important example of how beneficial things like Tinder can be for the modern world. Demographics of people who would rather communicate through safer more comfortable means (the safety of not being in person) is an incredible asset for people with Autism Spectrum Disorder such as yourself, or even minority groups that are afraid of being targeted for prejudice like members of the LGBTQ communities. An important thing for people to consider when they pass judgment on the types of people that they think use dating apps is that those people are already everywhere. Using something like a dating app allows you to hopefully find out what type of person they are prior to meeting them, something that wouldn’t have been available to the generations prior to ours. With the internet, you can potentially discover negative traits easily by scrolling through a few pictures, prior to internet use you would instead have to discover them in person which is not only uncomfortably and awkward, but in some cases – dangerous. In the end, I think you did an amazing job relating the media subject to your life and showing a firm grasp of the information presented to us in the course! Thank you for sharing with us.

  2. Camila Francisca

    Aw your story made me really happy… I agree with you that although social media and apps can be used in very negative ways by people, they also do have some qualities that really make them worth the trouble. I think when I ponder over things like tinder what comes to mind are some of my male peers who talk to one another of girls that they have met on tinder dates and the manner which they discuss these females is honestly quite disrespectful and flippant. However I also know quite a few people who have met partners who they adore on social media. One person in particular who I can think of is an amazing person but she really struggles with meeting men who appreciate her. She met her partner who is a very shy man and they are so happy together. I do not think they would have found each other the old fashioned way. I also think about people who live in small conservative communities who are gay and who do not know many people in their day to day lives who are also gay. Social Apps give people access to compatible souls that geography often does not. I think that although tinder can expose people to really awful humans it also gives people the ability to get to know a lot of people without actually having to let them meet you or even have your phone number for that manner. As a woman this is particularly important I think as there is nothing worse than giving a man your number and then having him be very annoying, or creepy. Even worse meeting up with a man and then realizing that you allowed a person into your world that you have no interest in knowing. Overall I really enjoyed your post, thank you so much for sharing : )

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