“Sup”
“Hey baby. What are you doing?”
“Nothing. Wya?”
“?”
“It means where you at”.
The above dialogue is a typical conversation I have with my 14-year-old son. Our conversations mostly consist of him texting me in text slang and me trying to decipher it and feeling old. I feel like limiting TV screen time is a thing of the past since an average teen has a smart one and spends more time socializing through social media or instant messaging. When I hear parents bragging about their strict parenting styles and not letting their kids have smart phones, I try to admire it, but in reality, I’m rolling my eyes. I will lie if I said I’m constantly monitoring my son’s phone usage. I mean, between juggling a full-time job, going to school and writing blog posts, the easiest choice is to let him entertain himself in his room and leave me alone for a moment.
Most parents I know feel more at peace that their adolescent kids have cell phones since they can be in contact throughout the day. Adolescents kids gain more freedom in their middle/high school years and spend more time away from parents. Ever since my son started walking home from school, I made sure he has a cell phone with him at all times. Unfortunately, the cell phone is not being used just for communication. Although parents like the idea of being in contact with their kids, they also raise concerns of negative consequences of cell phone use. Parents and school staff have voiced their concerns about cyberbullying and other conflicts connected to text messaging and social media (Tulane, Vaterlaus, Beckert, 2014).
It’s been reported that parents prefer to oversee their kids’ cell phone use rather than having school administrators or teachers have that control. However, studies show that cell phone use is more under control with adolescents who attend schools with strict cell phone rules. With schools enforcing strict cell phone rules, many teachers acknowledge the advantages of smart phones in classrooms as they can be used for research and class projects. Teaching students the resourcefulness of smartphones as opposed to their disruptive use, teachers play catch-22 trying to advocate for balanced use of cell phones (Tulane, et al., 2014).
Going back to the beginning of this post where I made myself sound like a terrible mom, yes, parents are not perfect, and yes, we do educate our kids to be responsible cell phone users. Before becoming parents, we have this ideal parent in our heads that we try to look up to, but then reality comes, and we’re not that strong anymore. I have always been outspoken about teaching and educating children as young as possible. We warn them about drugs and unsafe sex, we teach them to see the difference between right and wrong, we educate them to be responsible for their actions. Cell phones are just another addition to the list of things we want to make them aware of. And even if they spend a little more time on their smart phones while mom is getting things done, then that’s just the reality we have to live with, at least for the time being.
References
Tulane, S., Vaterlaus, J.M., Beckert, T.E. (2014). An A in their social lives, but an F in school: Adolescent perceptions of texting in school. Sage Journals, 49.