How To Make Wall Street Laugh

 

Business Insider published an article  about a super-ambitious internship applicant who wrote an over-the-top cover letter.  It has some of the biggest names on Wall Street in stitches – and not in a good way.

Can We Say Over The Top?

In his cover letter to Bank of America Merrill Lynch, the applicant wrote (in part):

“I am unequivocally the most unflaggingly hard worker I know, and I love self-improvement. I have always felt that my time should be spent wisely, so I continuously challenge myself … I decided to redouble my effort by placing out of two classes, taking two honors classes, and holding two part-time jobs. That semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups.”

Their Challenge – And Yours

The hiring director sent the cover letter to Morgan Stanley, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Goldman Sachs, Wells Fargo and more.  He offered to buy drinks for “the first analyst to concisely summarize everything that is wrong with” the cover letter.

I will offer PRB comment credit for the same.  Click here to see the entire cover letter.  Read the cover letter, then write your analysis as a comment on this site.  After you post your comment, copy the url and paste into your PRB discussion forum on Canvas.

On your mark, get set, GO!

Thanks to Sidra Maryam.
 
Photo by Mark Skeet on Unsplash

 

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27 thoughts on “How To Make Wall Street Laugh

  1. In my experience with writing cover letters, I have found it best to mention my assets and accomplishments without completely bragging. This young man emphasizes his accomplishments in a boastful way, coming off as somewhat narcissistic. His error is not mentioning his successes, as this is something that is necessary to do when trying to secure a job or internship. His mistake is the way he goes about this, by making the entire letter about what he can do that other applicants might not be able to do. His tone is quite aggressive, which is not appropriate when trying to secure an interview. He acts as if he is entitled to an interview, when in reality, he would be lucky to get one. Something else confusing about the letter was the fact that the applicant claimed he was not bragging, when in fact he was doing just that. Overall, the letter did not seem to be targeted toward any specific job, and lacked the proper techniques that are usually used when writing an effective cover letter.

  2. This article responds to a cover letter, which we all know are a tricky thing to write. You want to both come off as humble, while highlighting your expertise and why you are worth an interview. Many of these accomplishments also seem unrelated to how he could actually help a company. I can’t really see how skipping classes and a Good GPA translate to success in the corporate world. This cover letter was clearly too overconfident, and had no sense of humility. He just lists off his various educational achievements (skipping classes, high GPA), rather than explaining why some of these achievements make the company consider hiring him. I think he used the same cover letter in all of his applications, and didn’t “customize” them for each company very much like we were taught to in class.

  3. I have several thoughts about cover letters after reading this article. As a junior, I have been experiencing many of the aspects of the professional world and have taken many as learning experiences. I have taken the time to apply to many internship positions and in order to do so, I had to learn how to write an appropriate cover letter. It is apparent that no teacher or anyone with experience writing cover letters would suggest such a bold strategy that the applicant uses in this article. He effectively stood out in a large pool of applicants but it is hard to tell if it was a good way to stand out or a bad way. I certainly feel that the cover letter in the article was not appropriate but it was a very interesting and confident writing style that was chosen by this young man to make sure that Wall Street noticed him.

  4. When reading this cover letter, I found myself overlooking the author’s qualifications due to his arrogant tone. Instead of highlighting his achievements in a professional manner, the author seemed to be boast about them. I also noticed that he started almost every sentence with the word “I”, which in grammatical terms can get boring to read and make someone seem selfish.

    A second problem I found was that the author included completely irrelevant information in his letter. In a cover letter it is important to stay professional and on topic, I doubt JP Morgan cares how much it’s applicants can “bench”.

    The author also fails to go into depth about the company he’s applying for. He briefly mentions the name JP Morgan, but never describes why he is applying to the company specifically or how his talents could contribute to the organization.

    Astonishingly, at the end of his letter the author basically tells JP Morgan that he would be a “liability” to the company. His ego is so apparent throughout his letter that it was a mistake to state that “egos can be a huge liability”-this only reminds JP Morgan why they shouldn’t hire him.

  5. Jay Buongiorno
    Blog Comment #2
    March 14th, 2016

    After reading this article and reviewing the material and applications that the NYU grad sent to J.P. Morgan, I was confused if the applicant was being serious. After scanning it numerous times, the applicants tone seemed very genuine. It is assumed that it was a gentlemen applying for this job because of the passive-aggressive, cynical, confident nature of the cover letter. This applicants main messages were boasting about push-ups and GPA and reflecting upon why he would IS a great person for the job, and not how he could work his way up to be a great employee. The lack of formality in this application and cover letter are laughable to many professionals on Wall Street.

    The applicant for this job is informal in tone. While he should be highlighting relevant information that coincides with the job description, he is simply listing random skills that are irrelevant to the hiring process. He looks like a fool because he is describing skills and accomplishments do that people hiring him do not care about. While he says he is proficient in coding languages, he should list them. He should have a resume with all of his academic accomplishments and industry experience. Lastly, he should be convincing the employer why he should have the best chance to get an interview with the company.

    Here are some tips for what to avoid while writing your cover letter from monster.com, one of the world’s largest job search engines. ( http://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/Avoid-7-Killer-Cover-Letter-Mistakes )

  6. After reading this cover letter, I was unsure whether he was trying to get a job or sell himself as macho man. There is a fine line between being confident and being bragging about yourself in a cover letter. Although he did have strong qualifications and a broad background, much of it was irrelevant to the job.

    Also, the use of big words did not make him sound more intelligent but rather as if he right clicked and found a synonym for smaller words. It is important to stay in line with cover letters and not over-do it. If he had somebody proofread his document, he would have had a better chance at getting the job.

    Here are a few additional dos and don’ts when developing a cover letter:
    https://collegegrad.com/articles/resumes-and-cover-letters.shtml

  7. When writing a cover letter, you have to follow a specific formula that displays a brief description of your achievements, why you want to work for the company, and how you can make the company better. The purpose of the cover letter is lead them to read your resume and get you an interview.

    When glancing over this cover letter, the applicant is very qualified for this job. He has a high GPA, leadership activities, and previous work experience. This is all the qualifications that a recruiter looks at within a cover letter, however he does not portray it with the right attitude. He comes across as over confidence and boastful about his achievements. Instead of talking about how these achievements helped him grow as a candidate, he just mentions about how he was very successful at his last company. For instance, he says “I learned years worth of Java on my own in 27 days.” This is information that is not necessary for the cover letter.

    Another issue I noticed was that he did not talk about the company he is applying for. He mentions JP Morgan, however I would have talked more about JP Morgan as a company and how it appeals to his personal values. This shows recruiters that you have previously looked at the company and are very interested in its values and reputation.

  8. While reading this, I pictured one of those guys who is too smart for his own good. You know, the ones who are really book smart but have little to no common sense. He did not bother to put in the effort to address the person he would be writing to, he just said “sir or madam”. I understand his point in mentioning his “accomplishments” of benching while maintaining his GPA, but they were unnecessary and irrelevant. He could have picked a much better example.
    Throughout the entire letter, he comes off as very arrogant. First, insulting NYU saying “it was too easy”. Then going on to speak about himself in a bragging manner. And to finish it off, he points out that he doesn’t want the reader to think of him as a braggart, when in fact he is being one. I think drawing attention to “not being a braggart” only made him seem like more of a braggart. Anyone who would initially read this and not think he is being too over the top (which is unlikely), now has the idea in their head that maybe he is being too over the top.
    There is a fine line between being confident and being ridiculous, and the writer of this cover letter seems to have crossed it.

  9. I believe we can all take away a valuable lesson from reading this article and the student’s cover letter. When writing a cover letter, we of course focus on highlighting our strengths, but at the same time we need to be cognizant of how exactly we are doing that. After reading this NYU student’s letter I think very few people would want to hire him even though his achievements are quite impressive. Unfortunately, for him there are a few phrases that come across as arrogant to the reader and actually subtract from his credibility. For example, referring to yourself “as the hardest worker you know,” comes across as self-centered and it is easy to see it as a blatant embellishment of the truth.

    Here are a few other things that may be worth avoiding as well. http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2013/05/09/5-ways-your-cover-letter-lost-you-the-job/#49f5eaa11aaf

  10. While reading the cover letter, I could not stop imaging this person as someone that was really popular in school and possibly the captain of a sports team. I say this is because I used to be an athlete and during that time, I came across a lot of people that considered themselves humble. However, their confidence would come off as cockiness, and even though the author of this cover letter says that he’s not conceited, he comes off as arrogant and extremely self-centered. Which is the opposite of what you want to accomplish with a cover letter.

    After reading all of the qualifications the author had, I believe he could have written a great cover letter if he would have focused more on how he could have helped or how he would be a great addition to the firm(s) instead of focusing on how much an “all-star” he is. Also, although a 3.93 GPA is great, his GPA for that semester is irrelevant for two reasons: (1) this GPA may not accurately reflect his knowledge in finance fields and (2) the classes taken during that semester may not have had anything to know with the job he is applying for.

    As an undergrad student, we are told to make a great first impression and make sure able to set ourselves apart from the rest, but I don’t think this is quite what professor have in mind. Perhaps he could have worded some of this experiences and qualifications differently and made a positive impression.

  11. After I finished reading the cover letter I thought that the kid was very brave for sending out a cover letter like that to all the major firms in Wall Street. With all his background he could have easily made a humbler cover letter and get the job since obviously he is competent for it.

    One of the main reason of a cover letter is to offer many reasons why someone is qualified for a job. This person didn’t offer many “appropriate” reasons why he is qualified to work for JP Morgan but instead he listed all his skills and eventually his confidence turned into cockiness.

    At least he got the spot light but it was very hard to prove his words by looking at a paper even though he said he could back it up. I personally think that he should have gotten an opportunity to prove himself because if it really is true what he is saying he could become a valuable asset to any investment banking firm. However, work is not just about academics but also personality and in his case is where he is lacking the most.

    Who would have thought that investment bankers at Wall Street prefer humble cover letters. Finally, I feel bad for the hiring director of such company that told his analysts to find what was wrong with the cover letter for a drink. That was very rude.

  12. Wall Street is undeniably one of the most difficult places to gain employment, especially for undergraduates. That is why I found this particular applicant’s cover letter to be rather unique. But, in this case unique holds a negative connotation and will not land the applicant job on Wall Street.

    First, the applicant needs to lead with their strongest experience first. There is no reason to leave mentioning that you had an internship at the bottom of the letter. Also, it’s great the applicant has relevant skills like programming languages, excel, and Bloomberg. But, the hiring director is looking for factual evidence that your skills can be transferable to the workplace. The applicant should consider adding relevant examples of how these skills were used to solve a problem.

    The largest turnoff for this particular applicant is their language and general tone used throughout the cover letter. Words like “unequivocally” and “unflaggingly” certainly jump off the page, but they are not at all conversational or used in daily workplace language. Also, if the applicant has to state, “Please realize that I am not a braggart or conceited”, then the applicant is surely a braggart and just doesn’t want the hiring director to know. The worst part is definitely the first body paragraph, where the applicant goes as far to say, “I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups.” Although, this may be a great accomplishment, this experience has nothing to do with how the applicant can add value to J.P. Morgan and thereby affect the bottom line.

  13. The first thing I noticed was the superfluous use of opinion about himself, rather than facts. Stating one’s opinion instead of laying out the facts had two effect on me as a reader. The first was that he lacked credibility. The second was that it was a cocky reflection of his personality. Of course, because this is a cover letter and the intent is to get the hiring manager to review his resume, he needs to show why he’s qualified. However, instead of showing how he is qualified, he repeatedly states that he is an amazing person.

    Another criticism I have is that he uses a lot of adverbs and adjectives as a filler. This contributed to the excess length of the cover letter.

    Other key mistakes include the statement of negatives and the overall lack of proofreading. One does not have to draw attention to his or her own flaws. The author of this cover letter mentions his flaws, which are less than desirable qualities of a person and of a cover letter. Also, because of the lack of proofreading, different firm names than the firm he is pursuing in the present cover letter remain in the letter. One should pursue the position as the only position they are pursuing.

  14. http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-310866767.html
    (Cannot leave the comment for the article)

    Article: Maverick Purchasing Means Slower, Less Reliable Deliveries

    Comment: Everything is not as easy as we think. Does maverick spending, outside purchasing chain, always benefit for company? Based on the article, “Maverick Purchasing Means Slower, Less Reliable Deliveries“, Maverick purchasing is “not the time saver that some people think it is, according to the latest APQC Benchmarking data.” While maverick buying enables employees to obtain materials faster, it will result in slower order processing and delivery of purchased items. The data proves that the effects on order and delivery. Therefore, based on the data, I learn that all the method and new technology designed for supply chain management does not mean they are suitable for all companies. Analysis and research are the key to help company to reduce the cost and increase the revenue. Therefore, before we invest on some new technology or methods we should do more research and analysis on our own company. Certain methods work for certain companies, therefore the research should be personalized to help each company’s investment.

  15. Although it comes off as easy to criticize this over-zealous applicant, I feel there are several other factors played into this disastrous effort. In our ridiculously fast-paced, ever competitive professional market, the words ‘SELL YOURSELF’ always come off as a paramount initiative for those trying to get their feet set with a prospective job or internship.

    What gets lost in translation however, is the tricky line of balancing one’s confidence with elegance and humility as an applicant. Although there is no doubt that this applicant was indeed talented and could have served the company well, his far-fetched drive towards standing out from thousands of other application submissions was made very clear here. He was so concerned with this that, in fact, forgot entirely about the other functions which should be part of an ideal cover letter: research-based knowledge to clearly demonstrate an interest in the company.

    In lieu of tragic turnouts like this, I believe it is now more important than ever for colleges to place professional development and/or business writing courses as required courses for degree audits. There are simply too many applicants of the young generation these days that hang about, clueless over acceptable codes of professional correspondence etiquette and tone. Powerhouse companies like JP Morgan demand highly-talented human resources, and its a shame that at times these accommodations are missed out on simply because of poor communication skills in our technical age.

  16. After reading this cover letter I found myself not having an opinion to one extreme or another, unlike everyone else who had the pleasure of viewing it. Along with the people who read this article, I got the feeling that this kid is way too cocky and conceited. He seems way too sure of himself, even if he has to performance to back it up.

    With that said if I was the hiring manager for any of the companies he sent this to, I would at least give this kid a chance. Regardless of how he sounded in his cover letter, he did something many people didn’t do. He stuck out. I know an example of a cover letter like this that we covered in one of my finance classes last year. The professor sent the cover letter to many people that he knows on Wall Street, and the overwhelming response was that they would interview him solely because he did something different. When you take into account the number of mundane emails and cover letters recruiters get daily, I can see this as being a rather odd breath of fresh air.

    I’m sure that if someone was to research where he is today they would find him somewhere on Wall Street. Again, I’m not saying this is something I support doing, but it is different and in the end different is interesting.

  17. This article definitely shows the importance of the language and tone of a cover letter. This cover letter very well fulfills the requirements of the content of a cover letter, as in, education experience, internship experience and competency match, which is why the candidate is a good fit for the company.

    However, the tone used in the cover along with some formatting options is where the cover letter does not appeal to me. To begin with formatting, the address of the employer isn’t listed and the letter is pretty long. It is also not personalized to anyone, which shows that the candidate did not do their research. If the candidate did not know who to personalize the letter to they can always write it to the talent acquisition department. He should also provide his contact information to the company in the last paragraph for the company to reach out to him.

    The student is obviously really bright, hardworking and talented and want to show his/her achievements in the cover letter, however, downplaying the language is really important than showing off as an over achiever. It is definitely coming out too strong in this letter as there is lack of humility. He could instead talk about how he has certain skills and how they make him a good fit at JP Morgan by relating it to their functions and requirements in the position.

  18. Throughout the past couple of weeks we have been discussing the importance of tone and how one would like their message to be perceived. The author of this particular cover letter creates a tone that is obnoxious and somewhat condescending when attempting to present their qualifications for a job. If there was one thing this writer did correctly with this tone, it was definitely making his cover letter memorable for his audience, and I do not mean that in a positive way.

    When the author presents such a bold statement like “I am unequivocally the most unflaggingly hard worker I know,” it makes me question their ability to work successfully with other employees. I also felt that the author knew they were presenting them self as arrogant and tried to make an excuse for it by concluding with “please realize I am not a braggart or conceited.” If a writer has to stand up for the tone they have taken throughout their letter and feels it deserves some justification, why not change the tone the letter is presented in?

    The author also included irrelevant information in their cover letter such as their physical accomplishments and the fact that they taught them self a new program in “27 days.” Although specific information like that may seem relevant when trying to make yourself stand out from other applicants, it might be better suited in a conversation that occurs in a future interview and not something you present initially.

    If I have learned anything from this cover letter it is to try and find a balance between being humble and being confident. It is important to make yourself stand out from other applicants when writing a cover letter, but it needs to be done in a way that also makes your potential employers actually want to meet you and hire you for the job. I most certainly wouldn’t want my cover letter to be made a mockery of because I came across as too arrogant and overly zealous, and because of that I now appreciate the importance of humility.

  19. While reading this cover letter, I could not help but see a misguided attempt by the applicant trying to stick out from the pack. The article said the student had an impressive resume, and even the cover letter shows his GPA being a 3.93. With these credentials he would already move towards the top of the recruiting class, although an attempt to ‘Stick out’ may still be necessary. However the student went about it all wrong. The entire letter comes off as a bragging, conceited rant. No employer needs to know about an applicants ability to perform pull-ups or their ability to complete office tasks with ‘terrifying efficiency’.

    Revealing this information in a cover letter may also reveal negative information about the applicant’s personality. I wouldn’t want someone to work for me that is an actively bragging over-achiever. At one point the applicant talks about J.P. Morgan and at another point he mentions Morgan Stanley, which are two different companies that perform two very different services.

    One quote that comes to mind when reading this article is “If you’re good at something, you will tell the world. If you’re great at something, the world will tell you”.

  20. After reading this cover letter, although hard to get through, I will admit that it does help explain the importance of a cover letter. It is the first piece of writing that your possible future employer will see which is what gives it so much importance. This writer although he state at the end, “I am not a braggart or conceited, i just want to outline my usefulness” took it way to far in the beginning.

    I found it troubling to focus on what I was reading half way down the page due to the constant thought of the first paragraph. It is definitely smart to show confidence but there is a fine line that should be held. It is very impressive that he held that GPA with jobs and honors classes, yes, but there was no need to include his benching double his bodyweight and the ability to do 35 pull-ups. I understand that he is trying to show his constant commitment but that is not necessary to include.

    He touches on so many different aspects of his character. He does show that he is an incredibly hard worker, but after the first paragraph conceited was all I could think of. I also feel that he includes to much in the last paragraph. It is important to show that one is proficient in the programs needed for the job but it would have been better to just touch on the fact that he is proficient in them, rather then go into detail of how he learned them and so on.

    Although it does seem that this writer is describing himself very well, it is a little to much on the braggart side. Modesty is a great quality to have, and can be much more appealing.

  21. That is “unequivocally the most unflaggingly” attempt at a cover letter that I have ever read. While I appreciate the candidates attempt to separate him from the crowd of applicants, this was not the proper way to do this. His letter to J.P. Morgan really did not offer many appropriate reasons why he is qualified for the position at their bank, which is one of the main goals of a cover letter.

    The inclusion of his physical prowess was unnecessary, inappropriate, and came off as arrogant to the reader. While an employer would prefer you to be in good health, they do not use pull-ups as a qualification for the job.

    It really is unfortunate that the candidate took to this manner of writing for his cover letter, because it would appear that he does have some impressive qualifications, both in his academics and in his work experience. But these facts are very much overshadowed by the rest of the content in the letter.

    From a formatting perspective, this cover letter was fairly effective. However, it would have been wise to address the letter to a specific employee at J.P. Morgan. But this was a minuscule issue when compared to the rest of the letter.

    Although the candidate might be confident that he knows everything, it is very apparent that he has much to learn about presenting himself professionally.

  22. After reading this article, I have definitely learned what NOT to include in a cover letter. While you should be aiming to emphasize your strengths, it is important to maintain modesty as well. In the first paragraph, it is clear that this applicant is attempting to exhibit his ability to balance his education and extra-curricular activities. In most cases, this quality would be considered a positive in the workplace; however, the applicant’s boasting tone makes it obnoxious and condescending.

    His irrelevant inclusion of bench presses and push-ups toward the beginning immediately target him as a joke, and will leave a lasting impression on his audience as they read rest of the letter. All of the paragraphs consist of long lists of accomplishments. Instead, he should have chosen a couple examples that would be specifically beneficial to the company. However, with his mention of both J.P. Morgan and Morgan Stanley, it sounds as though he is not exactly sure which company he wants to apply to.

    If this applicant is actually as smart and successful as he claims, then it is a shame that he could not portray himself in a better light.

  23. This cover letter certainly comes off as arrogant and egotistical, despite the fact he claims that “egos can be a huge liability, and I try not to have one”. There are several things about this cover letter that I would change, beginning with the fact that the letter is not addressed to a specific person. He would have a better chance of getting hired if he knew who exactly was doing the hiring; “Dear Sir or Madame” is just as vague as “To whom it may concern”. Next, the first paragraph should briefly describe what job he is applying for and how he heard about it. He doesn’t even mention until the third paragraph that he is applying for a Finance position in the Investment Banking division of J.P. Morgan. Although he does correctly focus on his education in the second paragraph, he definitely could have left out the fact that he transferred to NYU because the last school was “too easy”. For all he knows, the CEO of J.P. Morgan could have graduated from that school which could be very offensive. He also should have left out the fact that he benched double his body weight and did 35 pull-ups simply because it is irrelevant information. He does do a fine job of explaining his experiences and qualifications in the fourth paragraph. The only thing I would change about it is completely taking out the last sentence. He could have stopped at “my most recent employer has found me so useful that he promoted me”. Also, even though this cover letter does make him sound conceited, he didn’t have to state “I am not a bragger or conceited” because it draws even more attention to this fact. Finally, he did a good job of politely concluding the letter by thanking them for their time and stating that he is looking forward to hearing from them. However, he forgot to add his contact information at the end and he probably should have politely asked for an interview.

  24. After reading this article and cover letter, I can see why this person’s work has been sent around to various places. The cover letter is so bad that it is really quite funny. From a technical standpoint, the cover letter itself seems to be okay – no spelling mistakes or grammar issues that I can see. However, it is what the person says that is (humorously) awful.

    The cover letter is supposed to be a more detailed selling point to the employer. One uses it to expand upon the items listed on the resume and to demonstrate why the one would be a good fit for the company. The only thing that this person demonstrated is how he can be a bit conceited, to say the least.

    The writer of the cover letter goes on and on about his so-called accomplishments in a way that just comes off as over-the-top bragging. Even if all the things he listed were true (which would undoubtedly be impressive), half of them were not even applicable or appropriate for a cover letter. Why would an employer care if he were able to do 35 pull-ups?

    Of course, it is very important to be confident in the cover letter. However, this guy blows right past “confident” into the realm of “arrogant.”

  25. One word comes to mind after reading this article—conceited. Even though the applicant begs to differ insisting he is not a “braggart,” the mere basis that he feels obligated to assert such a claim makes anyone reading his letter think the contrary. The main issue I find with his cover letter isn’t the blatant bragging, but the fact that the majority of it is rather irrelevant to the position he is applying for. How does the ability to bench press twice one’s weight correlate to success as an investment banker? It simply does not. The intern applicant also attempts to use vocabulary that seems rather out of his comfort zone in an attempt, I presume, to sound more intelligent than he actually may be. The aspiring intern essentially describes in his cover letter what his resume ought to—his past experiences that make him a viable candidate for the position. In my opinion, he tries too to reveal too much in his cover letter that he almost completely denies his chances at a potential interview.

  26. That was a fun read. Well to begin he should have found a name to address this to, especially since he is such a hard worker. He never specifies the position he is interested which should be in the first paragraph. Instead he had already begun bragging.
    The bragging continues throughout the entire cover letter. I would say if at the end you have to say you’re not a braggart, you probably are one. Then right after that he basically gives a reason for this company not to hire him, considering this displayed his huge ego.
    Furthermore he brings up his bench and pull-up numbers which are completely irrelevant. Another unnecessary statement he continues to bring up is testing out of two courses. He continues this trend using strange adverbs and adjectives such as “terrifying efficiency”.
    He also doesn’t have much relevant information that would be useful for the job he is writing about. His education doesn’t give relevant information and neither does his work experience.
    Finally, his last paragraph does not provide contact information or reiterate the reason for contacting the company. He sounds very confident, so at least he could have asked for an interview.

  27. When writing a cover letter, the biggest issue is finding the right balance between being humble and being confident in your qualifications. The main issue with this cover letter is that there is not enough humility in this balancing act. While this student is very qualified, it is the way that he explains these qualifications that is the issue. Rather than explaining how he can use his skills and qualifications to better JP Morgan, he brags about his accomplishments in a way that makes it seem like he is expecting applause from the reader.

    Another issue that is found is that not all qualifications are exactly relevant, an example being the specific exercise quotas the student met. While it is important to let the reader know you have a wide range of interests, the specific details are not necessary. Also, it appears that the reader references both JP Morgan and Morgan Stanley in the letter. This shows that this cover letter was not personalized for each recipient, as well as his inattention to detail by not catching this mistake.

    It appears this student is very bright, but among his qualifications he needs to add some modesty and proofreading skills.

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