Silent Observations of the American Student
Just Some Ridiculous Thoughts
We’re All Secretly Gangs
I’m dying, here is how Urban Dictionary user “secret sorostitute” defines ‘throw what you know’:
When sorority girls flash their wannabe gang signs for group pictures, pictures with celebrities, or any pictures at all. May be accompanied by “skinny arm” and/or “sorority squat.”
EX:
- Make sure you throw what you know at fall formal!
- Throwing what I know with my sisters in the middle of the road with this car!
- Making Randy Jackson throw what he doesn’t know!
Preach Girl! If you need more convincing peep these signs
Not really so different from these…
So yeah, we’re actually gangs of Lilly Pulitzer wearing, Starbucks drinking, secretly hardcore girls… watch out. Why do you think we wear reflective sunglasses, even on cloudy days? To hide our identity. If you’re still not convinced, let me spell it out for ya.
Sororities and gangs have colors specific to each organization. For example, the famous L.A. ‘Crips’ wear blue/black/combination of the two, Phi Mu identifies with rose/white, and Kappa Alpha Theta wear black/gold. Both gangs and sororities wear big, gaudy jewelry. It can be cheap or expensive but the line between statement necklaces and huge gold rope chains is a fine one indeed. And I mean, come on, who doesn’t like big rings?! Moving on, gangs use graffiti to mark their territory, I don’t know if you’ve been in the girls bathroom at a frat house but there are sorority names and letters all over the walls, especially if there is a chalk board. We’ll even cross out another sorority to assert our supreme dominance. Furthermore, both parties in question pick their own members. There is a recruitment process where prospective members (PMs) try to impress the organization, if the PMs are chosen there is a long period of initiation which is full of secret rituals. Most importantly, initiated members of both gangs and sororities find a new home with their new family. Older members take younger ones under their wing, teaching them the ropes and how to survive. In times of trouble members will turn to their organization for support and help. We’ve got each others backs.
So there ya have it. We are actually all gangs.
Oh, and if you don’t ‘throw what you now’ with your sisters, without your sisters, at events, when there’s perf lighting, on vacation, with a pretty sunset, on a mountain, by the beach, at the airport, at a concert, while studying abroad, while skiing, while tanning, in a sundress, in your grandmothers pearls, with the dolphins, or with a confused and irritated celebrity, preferably Luke Bryan, are you EVEN a sorority girl?
3 Comments on “We’re All Secretly Gangs”
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Actually laughed aloud at the last part oh my gosh. I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts every week, because instead of trying to make sororities look like the best groups out there, you joke about everything. Like I expected you to try and defend the fact that sororities are not gangs (like, obviously), but rather you took a mocking tone which I love. Great post!
Hahahaha I always love reading your posts! I think that this is a very interesting and funny comparison between sororities and gangs. Although I do not know how positive this comparison is, I think it is very comical. In a sense, I think all clubs and organizations can be considered gangs. Maybe even just Schreyer in itself with our specified rituals and SHC gear, we could all be considered a gang of nerds.
Cried tears of joy with the Luke Bryan reference. I’ve always water to be part of a gang, you know to have my crew there to back me up. Even more convincing of how Greek Life is a gang is how we roll up squad deep into Redifer and you give those other girls the look up and down to say as if, “Ya that’s right, I’m getting meat on my panini today, you wanna go?” The one thing I don’t think we have in common with gang though are the face tattoos, and I hope that never does become a thing.