Passion [for positive people] Blogs — Frances, the Inspiration of a Lifetime

Erie, PA — She has been a part of the family for so long now, I don’t remember the first time I met Frances, now in her sixties. My aunt Hope was a social worker for many years before she retired, and had worked with Frances in the past, and became friends with her later. Hope introduced Frances to my family and me, and we instantly fell in love with her, welcoming her into our family.

Frances has had an extremely difficult life. She is moderately developmentally disabled and comes from a family of mentally challenged parents and siblings. Because of her circumstances, Frances and her siblings were removed from her parents, and placed in either mental institutions or orphanages, separated from each other. Although Frances is not severely disabled, she was placed misclassified as severely mentally challenged and therefore placed in an orphanage and then a mental institution where life was very tough and often cruel. Frances went through a rough patch of misbehavior during her teen years, but became remarkably mature and independent when she began to live independently. This was when my aunt Hope met her and helped her to learn some basic life tips like manners, personal finance, and how to take care of her house and herself.

Frances just recently learned to read and write. She tried to take some reading classes a few years ago, but her fellow students were so cruel to her that she decided it best for herself to drop out of those classes and hire a tutor. She is now so proud of her reading and writing abilities, and often sends me notes and post cards to say hello, but also to show off new words she has learned. Education is the  one thing Frances wishes she had been allowed to have. She feels that had she been given that opportunity, she would have excelled.

Frances has several outstanding qualities that make her someone whom I not only love and adore, but admire and respect. Frances is extremely honest. She speaks her mind and states directly what she wants. This quality has propelled Frances forward in life because people learn to take her seriously.

Frances has a marvelous sense of humor and a contagious laugh. She loves to tell stories of the past, and makes everyone around her laugh. She particularly loves to tell funny and embarrassing stories about my naughty little siblings, stories that make my mother cringe but everyone else grin.

Frances is extremely responsible and caring. She takes it upon herself to take care of all those around her. Every time she calls me she starts and ends with her favorite saying, “Now, I don’t want to get you in no trouble..” because she worries that by calling me she is taking me away from my studies or sleep. She diligently watches my little siblings and me when she is with us, and pushes us to work hard and do our best. She has an elderly neighbor, Dolores, who lives next door in her apartment building. Dolores is incredibly sweet and kind, but has Alzheimer disease, so Frances spends much of her time with Dolores, taking care of her, helping her prepare meals, take her medicine, and pass the long, lonely days with loving company. Frances loves Dolores, and was heartbroken to learn recently that Dolores’ family will be relocating her to an assisted living home in the coming weeks. Frances had a twin brother, Frankie, who was severely developmentally disabled, and died last year from pneumonia. She doted upon him, visiting him as often as possible in his group home. Nothing made him smile more than a visit from Frances. She was heartbroken to lose him like she lost the rest of her family, but Frances is unbelievably strong and resilient and didn’t miss a beat of her charm. Frances has had to learn to let go of many loved ones and although she bravely moves on, it has not been easy for her.

Because of Frances’ endearing qualities, she has made many close friends in life. She has become a part of my family, and I cherish countless fond memories with her. She has two close friends in Georgia whom she visits every summer. She became close with her reading tutor, a medical student who is now a doctor, and visits him and his wife occasionally. She is very close with Dolores. She babysits long hours for a family of four children who look up to her because of the firm but loving care she bestows upon them. She is popular in her apartment building and community, and helps everyone out. Although Frances has had to let several loved ones go, I know that she will always be meeting and entering the hearts of new people whose lives will be irrevocably enhanced by her presence. Frances is the inspiration of a life time.

Frances and Frankie

Pictured is Frances talking with her deceased twin brother, Frankie a few years ago at my aunt Hope’s home in Erie, Pennsylvania.

A few years ago, my uncle Joe Wilson and his husband Dean Hamer, documentary film makers, made a short video about Frances’ life story upon request by Frances. Here is the link to this eight minute video: http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/frances_and_frankie. Frances insisted upon this documentation of her life because she felt that it was the right thing to do to share her story and hardships in order to raise awareness of the issues she faced in hopes of consequentially improving the circumstances of others.

 

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