Persuasive Essay Outline: Cyber Bullying

Here is a rough outline of my essay (some body paragraphs will most likely be changed as I go):

Introduction: 

Cyber bullying is a form of bullying that has been taking place a lot more in middle and high schools because of the improvement of technology and increased usage of social media networks. Something that has not really been established in these schools are punishments. Do you know if your middle school or high school had a punishment for this? Exactly. It is not very common for schools to have cyber bullies suspended. Not because of it being hard for them to get away with it, but because schools may not realize how serious of an issue this really is. Middle schools and high schools should have students who act as bullies on the internet suspended from school to teach them a lesson on what they are doing is wrong. Many students have taken their own lives because of another student saying something harmful to them online, and this needs to stop. I think that cyber bullies of middle school and high school ages should be punished because they will finally understand that what they are doing is wrong.

Body Paragraphs:

1. People say that online bullying is easier to get away with than bullying in person. This may be true but this paragraph with give reasons why people shouldn’t think this.

2. Why do teens who see cyber bullying occur right in front of them on their Twitter news feeds but do nothing to stop it?

3.Why girls are more likely to be bullied online than in person.

4. Several stories of kids who have been cyber bullied and what has been done to stop it.

5.Refutation (Counter Argument): Maybe it’s not the school board that the blame should be put on rather than te parents should deal with them. It is their kids so why not have the parents get involved and try to stop their children from being bullies? Some may say “it’s no one else’s business on what the do on the internet” but some parents may feel hurt that their child could actually do that.

Possible websites to use for research:

DoSomething.org

Stopbullying.gov

Kids Health

CNN (they have a whole page of articles about Cyber bullying)

Cyber bullying laws (pdf with a full list of laws in each State)

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2 Responses to Persuasive Essay Outline: Cyber Bullying

  1. Introduction:
    1. You’re first sentence very clearly introduces the topic. However, it’s a little longwinded and hard to comprehend the first time you read it. I would clean it up–get straight to the point. It’ll better draw in the audience (maybe something like: the advancements in technology have allowed a new type of bullying… or something along those lines).
    2. You establish kairos at the end when you say that people are committing suicide because due to cyber bullying. You might want to introduce this earlier in your introduction to really get people invested in your topic.
    3. I’m not exactly sure of your audience… it sounds like those who either are in or have recently graduated from high school because you ask if they know their schools’ policies regarding cyber bullying. However, that’s a pretty vague audience… Do you want to talk to teachers? The school board? Parents? And if your audience is just recent graduates, what can they do about this issue?

    Thesis Statement
    1. The claim is that students who cyber bully should be suspended. While this claim is very specific, I think it might be took specific. I don’t know if you should spell out the specific punishment… Maybe instead you could say schools should apply the same policies to cyber bullying that they use for “regular” bullying. Also, you should elaborate on/consider changing the phrase “teach them a lesson.” What does teaching them a lesson do? I think ultimately, it prevents and discourages bullying, so instead you might want to say something along those lines.
    2. I’m not clear what your evidence is– is it the fact that kids commit suicide? If so, how does that connect to your body paragraphs? I feel like the evidence should be a kind of preview of your following argument rather than just another reason for your claim. Maybe you could say something about how cyber bullying is just as real and harmful as other bullying?
    3. Like I just said, I think you should use evidence for your claim that ties the bodies paragraphs together. Your current evidence does support the claim, but it doesn’t reflect the rest of your argument.

    Body Outline
    1. The one thing I have to say about your organization is that you should put 2. and 4. next to each other. They’re both about similar topics, and would nicely transition. Also, I might put your first close to the refutation… I just get the feeling that those would also nicely transition.
    2. These sources seem good. Maybe you could also find an actual shoal’s policy on cyber bullying? Maybe even get one from your old middle/high school!
    3. I think your ideas for body paragraphs seem good, but I’m not sure how the third fits in. Maybe say how the fact that girls are bullied more online shows that this is a big problem?

  2. Profile photo of Amy Ketcham Amy Ketcham says:

    Roshan, I think that your topic and goal is clear. You might make it more clear that social networking is becoming much more prevalent and might lead to an increase in cyberbullying and that’s why this topic has kairos. I also think you might make your introduction more oriented towards school boards or a specific audience like you said you wanted to. I think this introduction could be more specific. For example, school boards know that they do not have a punishment for cyberbullying, but you can explain your points for why they should have a rule more clearly in a broad way in your introduction. Your thesis is strong and arguable, but you could explain more in the way of “because.” Why should they make this rule? I think you could more clearly explain your logos for your evidence. I think your points 2 through 4 really complement each other. For point 1, you could explain really well; it seems a little vague right now but we haven’t done any research yet so that’s ok. The refutation is good too, but you might want to think about reasons why your argument is more valid than those arguments. The thesis is supported well by these points, but you should make sure you don’t forget you’re are gearing your paper towards a specific audience. Sounds like it will be an awesome paper!

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