This week’s post is one of the utmost importance. A new species of squirrel has been discovered this past week. It has coined the name “Blue Nuts.”
The squirrel was spotted in central Texas (where else) this past Wednesday in a local park. Citizens of the town were amazed to see such a strange creature in the area and the squirrel became an internet sensation.
We were able to get a few words from a bystander who was at the park when the squirrel sighting occurred. Rod Dent, age 24 and local citizen of the town in Texas where the squirrel was sighted (sorry, the name of the town could not be disclosed for liability reasons) said:
“I’ve never seen any animal like this before in my life. At first I thought it was some kind of joke. Like, a sick cruel joke. You know how people are these days, dying their poodles pink and squirrels blue. But it just looked too real to me to be fake.”
Thanks for the insightful words Rod.
Although some zoologists are disputing the squirrel’s existence, many experts believe that the squirrel is one of a rare species thought to have gone extinct hundreds of years ago. The squirrel species they are referring to, the Rodentia Gigantica, was a prominent creature during the first ice age. Some minor discrepancies seem to exist between the two species however. For example, the ancient species averaged a weight of 103 kilograms and possessed large fangs for demolishing its prey. These qualities seem to mirror those of the Blue Nut fairly well, but not all experts are convinced. Dr. NuteElla, the world’s leading squirrel analyst provided us with his opinion on the new species:
“I am not saying that this squirrel is fake and I am not saying that this squirrel is real. What I am saying is that this squirrel is indeed blue and that, to me at least, is a bit concerning. I mean, let me tell you, I’ve seen a lot of squirrels in my day. I’ve seen brown ones, white ones, black ones, and red ones, but blue? What kind of crazy fashion statement is that?”
The squirrel has created so much commotion that squirrel enthusiasts are coming from all corners of the country to get a glimpse of the new species. However, the rodents appears to be camera shy. A tourist from Scranton, PA expressed her concern while meandering the park with a camera and bag of unsalted nuts:
“I think the poor thing is just camera shy. It just wants to be itself, you know? If a human dyes their hair pink they probably wouldn’t appreciate you taking pictures of them. But, I have to admit, this is a once in a life time opportunity *shoves handful of unsalted nuts in mouth.*
Since the initial sighting on the 28th, the squirrel has been spotted several more times throughout the town but only by locals going through their daily routines. Based on observations, the squirrel has been established as non-aggressive and fun-loving.