THE YEAR THAT NOTHING HAPPENED BY AUSTIN SHAY

He was nervous. I could tell. He kept sipping
his coffee and putting it back down. His hand
looping into his pocket pulling his phone
out multiple times checking the time.
           “How are you?” I finally said.
           “Fine. Better. I just needed time,” he lied.
Just seeing my face made him anxious.
More than anxious, it made him feel guilty.
           “How are you?”
           “Busy. You know how it is. But I’ve missed you,”
I said reaching for his shaking hand.
           “I’ve missed you too,” he said his eyes wavering
up to mine. I smiled, but he couldn’t.
           “Are you sure you are okay?”
           “I am.”
           “It doesn’t seem like it.”
He hesitated. He’d feel better if he just told me.
He could feel himself weakening again,
the tears welling up in his eyes.
         “I slept with someone else.”
I paused. He couldn’t believe it.
         “I thought you loved me,”
was all he could blurt out. Baffled.
         “I do. I love you,” he quickly said.
         “But why?” I said hurt.
         “I don’t know,” he said as he started to stand.
         “No. Stay,” I begged grabbing his hand.
         “I can’t. I can’t lose you anymore.”

Austin Shay is a graduate student in humanities. He is the editor-in-chief of The Paragon Journal. He was recently selected by Z Publishing House as a Best Emerging Poet from Pennsylvania.