OH MAN I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS BLOG POST. Okay, so a new thing that I’m doing this semester is looking at poets and singers/bands that aren’t necessarily published or famous. Is it biased that the first post I experiment with happens to be one of my best friends and my boyfriend? Maybe, but they’re talented so it doesn’t matter. Anyway, a little back story: I was listening to my music while doing my Spanish homework, and even though I’ve heard this song so many times (iTunes says 17, but it doesn’t know that Randell sings it to me too), today it stuck in my mind. I asked him if I could use it, and then happened to go over to Facebook (not procrastinating, if that’s what you were thinking) and I saw a newer poem that Valentina had written, so I explored more of her other poems until I found this one.
So, without further ado (no one says that enough), this week I’ll be looking at “In the Background” by Valentina Thompson and “Raindrops” by Randell Milan.
Here’s the song in mp3 form: Raindrops
In the Background
The dripping of a faucet
On an old marble sink
I sit alone atop cold granite
At times forgetting to blink
I’d rather not go home just yet..
While my emotions teeter at the brink
It’s one of those moments that leave me offset,
Triggering me, simultaneously, to really start to think
The humming of an appliance
Trudging on to an empty scene
Consistent amongst absence,
It works for anything and everything in between
However it’s only me in this instance
Trying to take myself out of life’s chaotic theme
Relishing in the temptation of defiance
After everything unravels opposite my dreams
The normality of surrounding
As so much more transpires within
The depths the mind travels, astounding
While I’m still here in my own familiar skin.
I guess you could say it’s a self-inflicted grounding
No “toys,” no contact.. no distraction
But my ears keep throbbing and my head keeps pounding
I’m trying to get to my feet, without any traction
So the continuity of the intricacies
Shows life goes on with no regard for anyone
And as much as we try and fight to foresee
Nothing is really predictable before its time comes
Right now the arm of the clock’s at 4:03..
With the early morning darkness still enveloping the sun
But if suddenly the sentient leaks stop or engines freeze,
I wonder if my mind too will no longer strive to function.
My friends make me feel like such a potato. Wow, I’m sorry if that was weird, but it’s true. Anyway, this poem. There are at least 3 tones at one time, but there aren’t really any nuances. It’s kind of an intense and hopeless loneliness. Does that make any sense? I want to say a depressing tone, but that would be underselling this poem, and that’s not all that this poem is. She uses words such as “life’s chaotic theme,” “temptation of defiance,” “self-inflicted,” and “pounding” to bring out this intensity; words such as “forgetting to blink,” “emotions teeter,” “triggering,” “trudging,” “everything unravels,” “no regard,” and “no longer strive to function” to accentuate her feeling of hopelessness; and then, to emphasize her loneliness, she uses words such as “alone,” “empty,” “it’s only me,” and “darkness.” These tones complement each other well because of this intense hopelessness that comes from feeling lonely. This poem, unlike others that I’ve looked at, also has a rhyming sequence (ABAB), but in the third stanza, the sequence is broken. Why? It reveals a certain sense of inconsistency in her own life. The humming of these appliances in absence may be consistent, but people around her are not. It feels to her that they have left her to crumble alone in her thoughts, and this is further revealed in the fourth stanza when she says “it’s only me in this instance.” Not only is she feeling this loneliness, but it’s keeping her awake into the wee hours, leaving her alone in the dark literally and figuratively. When she says that the darkness was “enveloping the sun,” she is saying that this feeling of inner darkness has absolutely consumed her; even though she knows she still has to find her own way of standing up on her feet, she wonders if she can even do so. Her use of ellipses in the second, sixth, and last stanzas also gives a sense of hopelessness, almost as if she’s even given up on wanting to tell her own story. It also makes her seem hesitant, as if she is afraid to admit how alone she really is, or even how doubtful she feels about her ability to believe in herself. Even the title makes her seem secondary; she feels like she is quite literally in the background of everyone around her. That’s where her loneliness is stemming from, and that’s what is making it stay.
Oh, and this song. I can picture her sitting on her bed, absolutely enveloped in this darkness. I can sense how’s she’s feeling. The heart-pounding bass lends to the intensity of the millions of thoughts racing through her mind. The organ and drums also complement the bass by adding to its darkness. It helps add to the feeling of hopelessness. The dark intensity of the instruments can almost correlate with the racing mind, and beating heart that she may be experiencing. Now, the vocals. Oh, man, these vocals. The growl that he uses from time to time, exemplify her inner intensity and even allows for a mental image of what she may be doing. She starts the poem off by saying she sitting “alone atop cold granite,” but I feel like she might have gotten off at one point. Maybe she walked around about, and let herself cry. Maybe she let herself break down. This poem is the representation of her loneliness, but maybe she felt it earlier. She’s been alone in the dark so long, or so she seems to think so. Even the self-harmonies (which rock, by the way) adds to this feeling. It feels desperate. It feels almost as if she is literally being pulled into the darkness. She says her emotions are teetering, and I can actually see this happening when I hear this song. I can feel her heart racing along with the drums, I can feel her head pounding along with the bass, I can see her glazed over expression with the harmonies, and I can see her tears falling with the vocalist’s growl.
Hmm, so that was a bit more intense than I thought it would be. I read the poem and immediately sent her a text. In case you were wondering, she feels much better now. She’s so very talented, and she has a few of her other poems on Facebook. I think you’d have to be her friend to see them but I could ask if anyone is interested in more! As for Randell..Well, it’s not fair. This is one of his original songs, and I’m pretty sure only a few people have heard it (which includes you guys, too). Anyway, if you’re interested in more of his music, he has a Facebook page, which includes a few originals and a few covers. If you like him, well then hey, you should like the page! Just saying (totally not biased or anything). Anyway, I loved the poem and the song together and I’m glad I got to share it with you guys. I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!