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January, 2013

  1. Valentina Thompson meets Randell Milan (Week 14)

    January 31, 2013 by Francis Flores

    OH MAN I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS BLOG POST. Okay, so a new thing that I’m doing this semester is looking at poets and singers/bands that aren’t necessarily published or famous. Is it biased that the first post I experiment with happens to be one of my best friends and my boyfriend? Maybe, but they’re talented so it doesn’t matter. Anyway, a little back story: I was listening to my music while doing my Spanish homework, and even though I’ve heard this song so many times (iTunes says 17, but it doesn’t know that Randell sings it to me too), today it stuck in my mind. I asked him if I could use it, and then happened to go over to Facebook (not procrastinating, if that’s what you were thinking) and I saw a newer poem that Valentina had written, so I explored more of her other poems until I found this one.

    So, without further ado (no one says that enough), this week I’ll be looking at “In the Background” by Valentina Thompson and “Raindrops” by Randell Milan.

    Here’s the song in mp3 form: Raindrops

    In the Background

    The dripping of a faucet

    On an old marble sink

    I sit alone atop cold granite

    At times forgetting to blink

     

    I’d rather not go home just yet..

    While my emotions teeter at the brink

    It’s one of those moments that leave me offset,

    Triggering me, simultaneously, to really start to think

     

    The humming of an appliance

    Trudging on to an empty scene

    Consistent amongst absence,

    It works for anything and everything in between

     

    However it’s only me in this instance

    Trying to take myself out of life’s chaotic theme

    Relishing in the temptation of defiance

    After everything unravels opposite my dreams

     

    The normality of surrounding

    As so much more transpires within

    The depths the mind travels, astounding

    While I’m still here in my own familiar skin.

     

    I guess you could say it’s a self-inflicted grounding

    No “toys,” no contact.. no distraction

    But my ears keep throbbing and my head keeps pounding

    I’m trying to get to my feet, without any traction

     

    So the continuity of the intricacies

    Shows life goes on with no regard for anyone

    And as much as we try and fight to foresee

    Nothing is really predictable before its time comes

     

    Right now the arm of the clock’s at 4:03..

    With the early morning darkness still enveloping the sun

    But if suddenly the sentient leaks stop or engines freeze,

    I wonder if my mind too will no longer strive to function.

    My friends make me feel like such a potato. Wow, I’m sorry if that was weird, but it’s true. Anyway, this poem. There are at least 3 tones at one time, but there aren’t really any nuances. It’s kind of an intense and hopeless loneliness. Does that make any sense? I want to say a depressing tone, but that would be underselling this poem, and that’s not all that this poem is. She uses words such as “life’s chaotic theme,” “temptation of defiance,” “self-inflicted,” and “pounding” to bring out this intensity; words such as “forgetting to blink,” “emotions teeter,” “triggering,” “trudging,” “everything unravels,” “no regard,” and “no longer strive to function” to accentuate her feeling of hopelessness; and then, to emphasize her loneliness, she uses words such as “alone,” “empty,” “it’s only me,” and “darkness.” These tones complement each other well because of this intense hopelessness that comes from feeling lonely. This poem, unlike others that I’ve looked at, also has a rhyming sequence (ABAB), but in the third stanza, the sequence is broken. Why? ­It reveals a certain sense of inconsistency in her own life. The humming of these appliances in absence may be consistent, but people around her are not. It feels to her that they have left her to crumble alone in her thoughts, and this is further revealed in the fourth stanza when she says “it’s only me in this instance.” Not only is she feeling this loneliness, but it’s keeping her awake into the wee hours, leaving her alone in the dark literally and figuratively. When she says that the darkness was “enveloping the sun,” she is saying that this feeling of inner darkness has absolutely consumed her; even though she knows she still has to find her own way of standing up on her feet, she wonders if she can even do so. Her use of ellipses in the second, sixth, and last stanzas also gives a sense of hopelessness, almost as if she’s even given up on wanting to tell her own story. It also makes her seem hesitant, as if she is afraid to admit how alone she really is, or even how doubtful she feels about her ability to believe in herself. Even the title makes her seem secondary; she feels like she is quite literally in the background of everyone around her. That’s where her loneliness is stemming from, and that’s what is making it stay.

    Oh, and this song. I can picture her sitting on her bed, absolutely enveloped in this darkness. I can sense how’s she’s feeling. The heart-pounding bass lends to the intensity of the millions of thoughts racing through her mind. The organ and drums also complement the bass by adding to its darkness. It helps add to the feeling of hopelessness. The dark intensity of the instruments can almost correlate with the racing mind, and beating heart that she may be experiencing. Now, the vocals. Oh, man, these vocals. The growl that he uses from time to time, exemplify her inner intensity and even allows for a mental image of what she may be doing. She starts the poem off by saying she sitting “alone atop cold granite,” but I feel like she might have gotten off at one point. Maybe she walked around about, and let herself cry. Maybe she let herself break down. This poem is the representation of her loneliness, but maybe she felt it earlier. She’s been alone in the dark so long, or so she seems to think so. Even the self-harmonies (which rock, by the way) adds to this feeling. It feels desperate. It feels almost as if she is literally being pulled into the darkness. She says her emotions are teetering, and I can actually see this happening when I hear this song. I can feel her heart racing along with the drums, I can feel her head pounding along with the bass, I can see her glazed over expression with the harmonies, and I can see her tears falling with the vocalist’s growl.

    Hmm, so that was a bit more intense than I thought it would be. I read the poem and immediately sent her a text. In case you were wondering, she feels much better now. She’s so very talented, and she has a few of her other poems on Facebook. I think you’d have to be her friend to see them but I could ask if anyone is interested in more! As for Randell..Well, it’s not fair. This is one of his original songs, and I’m pretty sure only a few people have heard it (which includes you guys, too). Anyway, if you’re interested in more of his music, he has a Facebook page, which includes a few originals and a few covers. If you like him, well then hey, you should like the page! Just saying (totally not biased or anything). Anyway, I loved the poem and the song together and I’m glad I got to share it with you guys. I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!


  2. Online Deliberation

    January 31, 2013 by Francis Flores

    Hey, guys! So my online deliberation is going to correlate directly with my Civic Issues blog, so I’m super excited. I found this forum: http://www.youdebate.com/cgi-bin/scarecrow/forum.cgi?forum=18

    and it should be pretty interesting to see what different people have to see. It’s always interesting to have other insights on something, and it’s also interesting to refute them if deemed necessary (which tends to happen on the magical world that is the INTERNET).


  3. This I Believe

    January 31, 2013 by Francis Flores

    This I Believe

    Imagine this: hot tears, sweaty palms, uncontrollable shaking, a slight pushing on your chest as if someone is sitting on you, and no sense of where you are. It’s a scary thing to imagine, but that is what an anxiety attack is. How do I know? Well, I’ve lived it.

    There is always one common question when this occurs: “Why did that just happen?” The most common response would be, “I really don’t know,” but of course I do; I just don’t want to be the one to admit it to myself. I don’t want to be the one to admit that I was the trigger. Being in my head isn’t good for me.

    Now, imagine this: you’re rehearsing onstage for the upcoming musical and you can’t breathe, so you run outside for some air. Everything is spinning. Your legs don’t work. There is suddenly no reason to be happy. You start to question yourself. What am I doing? Why am I here? I hate to be that person, but this does happen. People do think this way. Again, how do I know? Because I’ve lived it.

    Once you dive into that thought process, there’s no turning back. I blacked out, and remember waking up on the floor. My boyfriend (then just a good friend) was sitting next to me and holding my hand and whispering, “What happened? Are you okay?”

    I could only look at him and stare helplessly until my breathing slowed. I was so embarrassed. “I’m so sorry,” I muttered softly.

    He pushed my hair out of my face and said, “There’s no need to apologize. Just promise me you’ll get better.”

    All I could think was, “Well, great, he thinks I’m just an emotional wreck. I must have looked awful and unstable and hopeless. I hate myself. I deserved this,” but I managed to s ay, “I promise.”

    He picked me up and helped me drink some water. He wiped my tears from my face and whispered, “I could only imagine what you’re thinking right now, but don’t think I see you any differently. And don’t you dare think even for a second that you deserved this.”

    I couldn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say? I said the only thing I could. “Thank you.”

    I was stunned. How did he know? My head was spinning until I heard him ask, “Do you believe me?”

    All I could do was nod my head. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You better. You deserve to be happy. No one deserves these anxiety attacks. I don’t know why you get them, or if you know why, but you have to promise me that they will not define you. You deserve better than that. You’re worth it.”

    I stared at him for a long while and I walked back inside and finished rehearsal with his words on my mind. I was still shaky and hated the fact that I had an anxiety attack but knowing that I had someone to get me through it helped me. He was right. I have too much to do. I came this far for a reason. When I had other ones, he was always there to talk me through it, no matter what time it was or where we were, and he always reassured me of the same thing: I deserve to be happy because I am worth it.

    He helped me to believe that I am not who I see myself to be. He helped me to see that I am here because I have so much going for me. He helped me to accept my flaws. He helped me to see that I do not deserve these attacks. I would definitely not be where I am or who I am if I didn’t have him supporting me, and he is the very reason I believe that everyone needs someone to help them believe in themselves. I know that no matter what it is, he will be there to help me get through it, and this inspires me to believe that there is always someone who will see your worth when you do not.

    Because of him, I believe that I deserve to be happy. I believe I am worth it.


  4. Kim Addonizio meets Kimbra (Week 13)

    January 25, 2013 by Francis Flores

    Hello there, fellow comrades! I am so stoked for this week’s passion blog. I mean, I’m generally excited for all of them, but I’m especially excited about this one. I got the inspiration for this one while I was doing my math homework, actually. I was listening to music while I was working and this song came on, and it stuck there until I was walking out of my room and glanced at my poetry wall. On the wall, was the poem that I knew was written for this song (or visa versa).

    So, this week, I’ll be looking at “What Do Women Want” by Kim Addonizio and “Good Intent” by Kimbra.

    “What Do Women Want” was written by Kim Addonizio and published in Tell Me in 2ooo.

    “Good Intent” was written by Kimbra and released on her album “Vows” in 2011.

    “What Do Women Want?”

    I want a red dress.

    I want it flimsy and cheap,

    I want it too tight, I want to wear it

    until someone tears it off me.

    I want it sleeveless and backless,

    this dress, so no one has to guess

    what’s underneath. I want to walk down

    the street past Thrifty’s and the hardware store

    with all those keys glittering in the window,

    past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old

    donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers

    slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,

    hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.

    I want to walk like I’m the only

    woman on earth and I can have my pick.

    I want that red dress bad.

    I want it to confirm

    your worst fears about me,

    to show you how little I care about you

    or anything except what

    I want. When I find it, I’ll pull that garment

    from its hanger like I’m choosing a body

    to carry me into this world, through

    the birth-cries and the love-cries too,

    and I’ll wear it like bones, like skin,

    it’ll be the goddamned

    dress they bury me in.

    Here’s the song to go with it (I’ll post two videos, the first is the official music video and the second is just a lyrics video):

    Oh, wow. I just get so giddy when I’m writing my passion blog. I mean, that’s a good thing since that’s the point, but I still feel like I should point that out. ANYWAY. So, this poem. This poem. I actually imagine this to be a prequel type thing to “Bluenote Time” by Adrian Green. Do you remember that one? The one about couple dancing? Ah, well, if you don’t it’s my second post (EVER) in my passion blog. Wow, I keep getting off-topic. Sorry about that. As I was saying, I see this as a prequel because of the implications of this poem. It just screams “aggression, rebellion, and confidence,” doesn’t it? Her repetition of the words “I want,” and her mention of the words “red,” “flimsy,” “cheap,” “too tight,” “someone tears it off me,” “sleeveless,” “backless,” “I’m the only woman on earth,” “I can have my pick,” “confirm your worst fears from me,” “how little I care about you,” and then the last two lines “it’ll be the goddamned/dress they bury me in,” exude these very things. You could argue that these three different infusions relate directly to each other and I would have to agree with you. To a certain extent, rebellion stems from aggression and confidence, and aggression stems from rebellion and confidence. In this poem, she (clearly states that narrator is a woman!) says something in the middle which insinuates that she’s from a city area (when she talks about Mr. and Mrs. Wong). That part confused me, though. Why would she choose to walk past those particular people? I mean, they probably meant something to her, or she wants them to take notice of her. She is possibly flaunting something that she knows they wish they could have. I don’t mean her (she’s not an object), I mean her confidence. The color red? It’s a loud color and certainly draws attention. This dress is just so much more than just a dress to her. It’s the physical representation of her confidence. She is coming back from something; I mean, she most likely is if she wants to show someone how little she cares of them, and she wants to be able to wear this confidence so tight. Not only that, she wants people to know that she exudes this confidence. That’s why this dress is so important to her. It’s something she never had. That is what women want.

    Oh, and this song. I want to be Kimbra. She’s just so perfect. The jazzy-noir feel to this song was made exactly for this song. The pulsing double bass just adds to the intensity of her rebellion against herself. She wants to flaunt her newfound confidence when she finds it. Once she’s found it, there’s no going back. The percussion (pitched as well) adds to the intensity of the bass. I can almost see this woman walking down the street, absolutely exuding the aggression that is raging inside of her. The piano, electric piano, strings, and apregiator (which is basically like a synthetic keyboard-type-thing) are intense but in a different sense. It’s not the heart-thumping intensity that the percussion makes you feel. No, it’s the kind of eerie and steady pulsing intensity that you get when you know something that others don’t. This is the confidence. The trumpet. Oh, man, I love the trumpet. It’s a FANTASTIC instrument. When it plays, it just accents all of the instruments. It combines their differing intensities (I love that word for some reason…intensity) into one. It establishes the jazzy-noir tone that correlates so well with this poem. Now, Kimbra’s voice is just so perfect for this backing track. The music itself exudes the very confidence that this woman may feel, but Kimbra’s voice personifies this woman even more. It’s almost as if Kimbra is this woman. Her voice is smooth but changes tonally throughout the song. Her self-harmonies (which I LOVE) are higher and then she drops to her lower register and then she goes back to her regular voice. It is fantastic. This change is her rebellion, aggression, and confidence. When her voice is lower, she’s singing out of rebellion. She’s a female. How many do you know that sing like that naturally (not including Nina Simone)? When it’s her regular pitch, it’s her confidence. When she’s singing higher, it’s aggression. Higher harmonies further emphasize her points, and it’s fantastic. I can almost see the woman from the poem walking down the street to this song. Her flimsy, cheap, too tight, sleeveless, backless, RED dress is almost the only thing anyone would be able to see. It’s what will keep her sane. Every head that turns to stare is the blow of the trumpet. Every step she takes is the pulsing double bass. The altering of the singer’s voice is the slight head toss and smile that this woman flashes at those that are staring.

    Where do I even start with this? Oh, this is yet ANOTHER poem that my AP English teacher gave to us. She happens to be pretty awesome. Thanks, Mrs. Bean. Anyway, I love these two together. I must admit, I had the most horrible writer’s block, but once I got into this poem and song, I really got into it. When I hit my epiphany, I laughed with absolute delight and sent a text to my friend who was in the class with me. I had my moment of nerdiness and it was fantastic. I heard of Kimbra when she sang with Gotye in “Somebody That I Used To Know,” and I fell in love with her voice. It’s so jazzy and it’s what I aspire to sound like. I absolutely love it. It’s good to be back. Thanks for reading.


  5. Civic Issues: DOMA and Same-Sex Marriage

    January 24, 2013 by Francis Flores

    Oh, man. Oh, MAN. I am so excited for this civic issues blog. I’m not so thrilled that it has to be so long, but at least I get to write about something that I’m so interested in. I guess I could give a brief backstory as to why I chose this topic. My goal isn’t to force something that I believe in onto other people because I don’t think that’s okay. I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I also believe that if you’re going to hold your own pinions so strongly, it’s important to hear other opinions as well. Over the course of this semester, my main goal for this blog is to shine a light on what other people may think of a certain aspect of same-sex marriage and refute it. It’s important to hear (or, in this case, read) two completely different opinions on this topic.

    As of right now, in the United States, same-sex marriage is legal in Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Washington, and Washington D.C.; however, 31 states have constitutional amendments banning gay marriage and 6 states have laws banning gay marriage altogether.1 The ratio of the two is actually appalling. For a nation that prides itself in equality and freedom, there sure are certain restrictions on something that should not be seen as a legal obligation. You could make the argument that people would be in an uproar: religious groups and family organizations (most likely tied to religious groups) would be in an uproar, but here’s the kicker—the first amendment clearly states a separation between church and state.2 Not only are these people not allowed to marry, but the majority aren’t allowed to adopt children, or even donate blood.

    Do you see the problem now? There are so many gay individuals today that have so many problems with just being themselves. It’s harder for them to accept themselves because of the judgments that people are so quick to make. Not only is this harder on the youth, but it’s harder for the parents to accept. They don’t want their children to be faced with the problem of being ridiculed just by being who they are, so they find it easier to be just as unaccepting as everyone else can be. I know so many people who are afraid to “come out of the closet” because of the harsh words and actions that society is capable of.

    As this blog progresses, I’m going to touch on a specific story pertaining to same-sex marriage, and then tell another anecdote of something I might have seen on the internet, whether it’s a picture or an article.

    Side-note: This next part is just me ranting because I’m just too into this topic. Feel free to ignore. Sorry.

    Why same-sex marriage is so unaccepted will forever remain a mystery to me. Love is love is love is love. The definition of “love” isn’t: a feeling of strong affection and personal attachment between a man and woman. No. There is no real definition of love because different people love differently.


  6. Political Communication and Deliberation: Chapter 1

    January 24, 2013 by Francis Flores

    1. Deliberation is going a problem multiple times and coming to a solution after much thought. A deliberation includes many opinions, both relevant and diverse, so that a consensus may be achieved. A deliberation should not be confused with something that one person believes for a whole group of people.
    2. The three key criterions are: inclusion, participation opportunities, and enlightened understanding. Inclusion is recognizing members of a certain democracy whether it’s an entire nation or something on a smaller scale, such as a particular community. Participation opportunities are things such as the ability to express opinions, expressing interest in certain issues, and voting. Enlightened understanding is what makes an opinion relevant towards an issue; it is the line between a deliberation and something that is unreflective.
    3. Deliberation in the democratic process is what makes something democratic. People have the opportunity to express their opinions and elect someone capable to represent them on a larger scale. Deliberation in the democratic process embodies all three criterions, and defines a democracy itself.
    4. I learned that deliberation is more than just a fancy word for “think”—it defines the way we run this country.
    5. I didn’t understand how Cuba can call themselves a true democracy. That stood out to me.

  7. This I Believe (Rough Draft)

    January 17, 2013 by Francis Flores

    Just a reminder that this is a work in progress, so sorry if it’s a bit shoddy.

    This I Believe.

    Imagine this: hot tears, sweaty palms, uncontrollable shaking, a slight pushing on your chest as if someone is sitting on you, and no sense of where you are. It’s a scary thing to imagine, but that is what an anxiety attack is. How do I know? Well, I’ve lived it.

    There is always one common question when this occurs: “Why did that just happen?” The most common response would be, “I really don’t know,” but of course I do; I just don’t want to be the one to admit it to myself. I don’t want to be the one to admit that I was the trigger. Being in my head isn’t good for me.

    Now, imagine this: you’re rehearsing onstage for the upcoming musical and you can’t breathe, so you run outside for some air. Everything is spinning. Your legs don’t work. There is suddenly no reason to be happy. You start to question yourself. What am I doing? Why am I here? I hate to be that person, but this does happen. People do think this way. Again, how do I know? Because I’ve lived it.

    Once you dive into that thought process, there’s no turning back. I blacked out, and remember waking up on the floor. My boyfriend (then just a good friend) was sitting next to me and holding my hand and whispering, “What happened? Are you okay?”

    I could only look at him and stare helplessly until my breathing slowed. I was so embarrassed. “I’m so sorry,” I muttered softly.

    He pushed my hair out of my face and said, “There’s no need to apologize. Just promise me you’ll get better.”

    All I could think was, “Well, great, he thinks I’m just an emotional wreck. I must have looked awful and unstable and hopeless. I hate myself. I deserved this,” but I managed to say, “I promise.”

    He picked me up and helped me drink some water. He wiped my tears from my face and whispered, “I could only imagine what you’re thinking right now, but don’t think I see you any differently. And don’t you dare think even for a second that you deserved this.”

    I couldn’t say anything. What was I supposed to say? I said the only thing I could. “Thank you.”

    I was stunned. How did he know? My head was spinning until I heard him ask, “Do you believe me?”

    All I could do was nod my head. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You better. You deserve to be happy. No one deserves these anxiety attacks. I don’t know why you get them, or if you know why, but you have to promise me that they will not define you. You deserve better than that. You’re worth it.”

    I stared at him for a long while and I walked back inside and finished rehearsal with his words on my mind. I was still shaky and hated the fact that I had an anxiety attack but knowing that I had someone to get me through it helped me. He was right. I have too much to do. I came this far for a reason. When I had other ones, he was always there to talk me through it, no matter what time it was or where we were, and he always reassured me of the same thing: I deserve to be happy because I am worth it.

    He helped me to believe that I am not who I see myself to be. He helped me to see that I am here because I have so much going for me. He helped me to accept my flaws. He helped me to see that I do not deserve these attacks. I would definitely not be where I am or who I am if I didn’t have him supporting me.

    I believe that everyone needs someone to help them believe in themselves. I believe that, no matter what it is, he will be there to help me get through it. I believe that there is always someone who will see your worth when you do not. I believe that I deserve to be happy. I believe I am worth it.


  8. Spring Passion!

    January 17, 2013 by Francis Flores

    Hello there, lovelies! So after thinking a lot about this (and talking to Ammara about it), I decided to keep the same topic but instead of comparing novels, I’m going to be focusing on poetry. Why?  I think that poetry is often oversimplified  to so many people. I think that poetry is the hardest thing to write, because to write poetry is to open a vein. You can argue that it’s the same thing for writing in general, but poetry is supposed to be shorter. It’s the description and imagery that speaks rather than the dialogue. Writing poetry  not only opens a vein, but it stays open, thus creating an impact with select words.

    My “research question” would be: can poetry and music create miniature movies and invoke emotion? I am going to investigate this by comparing the two as I have been doing. I’ll look at the descriptive language and analyze the tones of the poetry and the music so that it invokes a certain emotion.

    I’m excited to do this for another semester, so let’s see how this goes!


  9. This I Believe and Civic Issues!

    January 10, 2013 by Francis Flores

    1. For my “This I Believe” podcast, I want to focus on the quote: “People are not mirrors. They see you completely different than the way you see yourself.” I believe that this is completely true and I would be lying be lying if I agreed with how other people. Unfortunately, this is the case for a lot of people who are close to me too, and I believe that everyone should have the chance to feel like they are better than how they see themselves.

    2. Surprise, surprise. For my Civic Issues blog, I chose the category of Gender, Sexuality, and Rights with my subcategory being (anyone want to guess?) DOMA and state laws regarding same-sex marriage. The question that the description ends with: “Is marriage a right?” really stirred something in me, and I would love the chance to elaborate more on how I feel about that.


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