I would like to consider the nature of a commitment and the role of society and relationships in our commitments. I will start by defining a commitment (in this instance) as something we feel obligated to do. This definition is potentially flawed and certainly subjective, but it works as a general starting point for the nature of commitments I would like to discuss.
The question posed here was inspired by a statement made by a friend about his commitment to studying viola. We were discussing balancing school work, free time, and other commitments. He said something along these lines:
“I love viola, and the way I see it, if I can’t keep that commitment to myself, how and why should I be keeping a commitment to anyone else?”
This struck me for a lot of reasons.
First, he makes the assumption that doing things like school work and the so-called “obligatory” aspects of college life as a commitment not to himself, but to something or someone else. But what is that “something else”? Is it a commitment to his career? To his parents? To his professors? To the university? The answer seems truly illusive and abstract.
My first thought is to denounce this type of assertion as a means of placing responsibility on something or someone else. We do our school work so that we can learn FOR OURSELVES or to get good grades FOR OURSELVES. Any deviation from this fundamental belief (of mine) is delusional, in my opinion.
But I also realize that it makes sense to try to base some of our commitments on other people or other concepts such as our future success. It allows us to separate from the idea that all of our actions ultimately are a result of our own desires. (I could also extend this belief to my view on religion, but I’ll save that for another post.) While I think we all realize on some level that we are ultimately committing to ourselves in everything we do, we use abstract constructs of our desires (i.e. future success, pleasing another person, pleasing “the system”) to our advantage so that we do not feel solely responsible for the commitments we make to ourselves.
I don’t want to be a hypocrite here, though. As much as I acknowledge the nature of my commitments, I am no different from anyone else. I still pretend to commit to other people or organizations subconsciously because it makes it easier to cope with the fact that my decisions have potentially graver consequences for me than I would care to realize.
Upon further thought, I realize that separating ourselves from our commitments has another really important consequence – accountability. I will use an example here to explain. I want to do well in school so that my GPA is good enough to get into medical school. I want to do well in medical school so that I can hopefully have a fulfilling career in medicine and play a role in helping people to achieve the highest potential physical state to achieve their own dreams. Because I base this commitment upon a future goal of mine (an extension of myself), I am more likely to be motivated to achieve it. If I were to take this sequence even further, I would realize that I really just want to do well in school because it will make me happy. My desire to be happy and feel fulfilled makes me more likely work for the state of my future. But the problem is that the future does not really exist until it happens. I make a commitment to something other than myself, in this case, my future, so as to instill more accountability. All I am really doing is trying to make myself happy, but what kind of motivator is that? The concept of happiness is so abstract and vague that it won’t motivate me nearly as much as some “thing” I can strive towards.
I guess all I am trying to say here is that it is OKAY to base your commitments on things other than yourself so long as you realize deep down that anything you really commit to is a commitment to yourself.
Realize what you do. Be selfish. Work for YOU. And most importantly (not really), DON’T BE A PART OF THE SYSTEM.
The Lonely Island – Threw It On The Ground
That’s all for now! Stay fly and goodbye!
-Dan