Hi, there. I see you. Yeah, you. I see you looking at me. I’m working out, but I still see you.
I’m lucky enough to live where I have a gym in my basement. You, the maintenance guy, have a funny way of always “cleaning” or “checking the supplies” every time I work out. It’s weird how that works, because I never go at the same time.
You were lucky enough to catch me alone in the gym one morning. I guess the machines must have gotten really dirty the night before, so you had to get in there first thing to clean them.
You approached me as I was panting and sweating on the elliptical. In such a vulnerable state, I puffed a brief hi and turned back to watching the Today Show.
That curtesy hi wasn’t an invitation, but you took it as one.
“You know, I don’t want to be awkward,” you start.
Let me just stop you right there. If you have to preface your comment with a conditional statement like that, you should probably just keep it to yourself.
But you don’t.
“I just wanted to say I don’t know why you work out.” Yep there it is. You put it out there. “I see you here working so hard all the time, but you already have a great body.
Uhhhh.
“Thanks,” I puff back. What am I supposed to say to that? I’m still working out, so I don’t want to hold a conversation. I decide that it’s time for me to be done for the day, so I quickly grab a sanitizing wipe and clean my machine.
You’re still talking to me, but I’m not listening. I think you said something about how you need to work out. I said something about how it’s just a habit, and I hurried out the door.
I know you think you’re being nice. You gave me a compliment, right?
What you really did was make me feel uncomfortable about something I love. Here’s something you need to know: I don’t work out for you. I work out for me.
“Besides being good for your body and for maintaining weight, eating right and exercising regularly improve your mood and help you feel as if you’re more in control of your life in general,” says Joan Chrisler, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Connecticut College in New London in a SELF article.
I know you think that you’re helping build my self-confidence, but working out, most importantly working out without your input, is what helps improve my body image.
Do you know what the number one reason women skip the gym? They fear being judged, according to a UK study.
You might have given me a compliment, but what I really heard is that you’re watching me. You’re judging me.
I’ve missed the gym more since your awkward encounter. In fact, I’ve been running outside as much as I can just to avoid your gaze.
I’m reclaiming my gym. You don’t have the right to make me uncomfortable in a space made for my sweaty enjoyment. I invite all women to do the same. There’s no reason for your eyes to linger.
For the women you have scared away from the gym, remember these tips from Sweat Like a Pig: wearing headphones, dressing like you mean business, and avoiding eye contact can keep that creep at bay. If they’re still making you uncomfortable, report it. I did.
Sincerely,
It’s my gym.
Lisa jenkins says
I like this poem too. It made me cry a little bit because I found it while I was searching the internet on “how to deal with creepy gym stalkers”. It is just not fair. I’m at the gym working out, minding my own business and this dweeb has to try to start conversation with me on multiple occasions. I try to avoid him. It is scary because so much crime is going on in the world today and I’m afraid of being some creeps next victim. I do not care if I hurt his feelings. Next time he approaches me I am angrily walking away and ignoring him. He has no business approaching me. I do not know him and I never hold conversations with him after multiple attempts. I see him at the gym. Staring at young women and trying to start conversations with girls in the gym. How rude. He does not care if he is being rude and violating my space so I do not care how it makes him feel when I walk away, say nothing and ignore him.
AA says
Hello, omg, this is so true. I’ve dealt with this situation all my 20 plus workouts years. It’s caused me to go to different gyms only to find a new creep. So, I’m not so friendly but some of the creepy guys don’t care about me being standoffish because people who want attention often don’t care if it’s positive or negative attention, they just want it. So, I get in as early as possible to avoid! We live in a crazy world, be safe!
Otto Bihli says
I like it!
https://www.restodonte.com.br/artigos/manutencao-preventiva-na-cozinha
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Anita says
There are many creepy guys in my gym and this is the 3rd gym that I’ve been to in the past 2 years and everywhere it’s the same. But things crossed a line when one of the people in my gym got my number from the workout chart I use and messaged me. It’s creepy and scary. When I mentioned this to someone they said look for another gym. Is that the best solution? Isn’t it like running away?
I hate that guy, but I don’t want to put myself in unnecessary danger. What’s the best way to deal with this?
I live in India and here, sadly people are very conservative and I’m scared that they will blame me for all of this.
kno5043 says
This is a great post! Thank you so much for addressing this issue. Unfortunately, I think this problem goes far beyond the gym. I avoid gyms and have a treadmill at my house because of similar issues I’ve run into. I’ve had guys think I like them just because I smile at them. I smile at everyone, like, get over it. Seriously though, this is an amazing letter and I hope the creeper reads it. Also, I’m glad to hear you reported him. No one should have to put up with this!
Alexandria Morris says
I was working out on the elliptical at the Ugates gym when all of a sudden, a creepy, old man walked in. The Ugates “gym” is supposed to be a resident only gym, but the man was using the laundry room. He decided, for some odd reason, to use the leg press machine for, not even, seven minutes. He then left. I felt very uncomfortable that a man three times my age was using the resident only gym. If I can’t feel comfortable in the littlest gym around here, where can I feel comfortable?