Monthly Archives: October 2012

The One Where They’re Going to Party

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People are never happy with their age. Adults always want to be younger, kids always want to be older. Why can’t we just make the best of the age we’ve got? Hell, before you know it, it’ll be gone and a new number will take its place.

 

“So what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!” -Ross

“We’re 29, not women.” -Joey

Ross and Chandler are expecting their friend Gandolf to come for a visit and you know what that means. Whenever Gandolf is around everything is spontaneous and wild. They always have some sort of adventure leaving the guys with great memories and stories to tell. Joey is skeptical of Gandolf’s greatness. Ross and Chandler are so excited and try to explain to Joey that the best things happen when Gandolf’s around. They meet strangers, go to unexpected places, and end up on a boat! Unfortunately, Gandolf suddenly cancels and Ross and Chandler are devastated. All they do is sit in the apartment and watch tv, balance Ross’s checkbook, and name all the foosball players. When Joey comes in and sees the two lazy bums, he convinces them that they don’t need Gandolf to have fun and that the three of them are plenty spontaneous and fun. So they head out! They later take a breather at Central Perk and when Joey brings up going back out Ross and Chandler admit that they’re exhausted. Joey was relived because so was he. They realize that they don’t like the things they used to when they were 21. They’d rather do things that 29 year olds do like having coffee, watching tv and going to bed at a reasonable hour, hanging out in a quiet place and talking to friends. The guys came to accept their age and learned that when you grow up you leave your past self behind and become a new person that suits you better.. for now at least.

Birthdays are a happy day for children but when you pass that certain age, 21, it becomes a day filled with remorse and self-loathing. Adding another wretched year to one’s age is a terribly melancholy task and no reason to celebrate. But being born is a reason to celebrate! You should celebrate that you lived another year because that is a great enough feat. People just hate growing older. We don’t want to become those wrinkly, shrunken old cuties (I love old people) who can’t drive their own car anymore. People past 21 wish they could revert, you know like Benjamin Button, and be young again. They miss their childhood, high school days, and college years. No one wants to grow up and face the real world, work a job, go through a mid-life crisis, get married, etc. For kids, it’s the exact opposite. They long to be teenagers who can drive, go out without their mommy or daddy, have cool clothes, and are in high school. Of course teenagers wish they were college students and college students are pretty happy where they are until it’s over and they want to be freshmen again. It’s a cycle. We always want to be what we aren’t; we want what we can’t have. We want that youth and innocence or we want the freedom and power. For me, I wish I could be starting my freshmen year in high school again. I long to be young again and not have to worry about the now more eminent future after college. I’m happy where I am but there’s always that part of me that wishes I was younger. I think everyone, myself included, needs to realize that we already had our chance to be that age and hopefully we enjoyed it and have memories of it to keep. We have time ahead of us and we should look forward to the future. I’m not saying we can’t look back on the past, because I sure love to, but we should try to enjoy the present too. Take a hint from our friends Joey, Chandler, and Ross, it’s okay to be happy with where you are; it might not be as good as when you were younger but it’s still good.

The One With The Giant Poking Device

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Everyone is afraid of something. It’s impossible to be completely fearless; there’s got to be something that creeps/freaks/grosses you out. But when do these fears become irrational?

Joey: “Ugly naked guy looks awfully still..”

Phoebe: “My God, I killed another one!”

Poor Phoebe has a toothache that prevents her from eating Rachel’s delicious brownies. She is advised by Chandler, Ross, and Rachel to go to the dentist. Phoebe is astonished that they would suggest such a terrible thing. She claims that there a curse on her which makes someone she knows die every time she goes to the dentist therefore she’s scared to make an appointment. Later at Central Perk, Phoebe tries to eat an apple and when she can’t she decides she’ll just have to take her chances and go to the dentist. After her appointment, she rushes to Monica and Rachel’s to find that they are both still alive. She then proceeds to use Monica’s phone to call everyone she knows and make sure they’re still alive. After all the calls are made, Phoebe does a little happy dance because no one was dead… or so she thought. Joey stares out the window at ugly naked guy and realizes he isn’t moving. Phoebe freaks out thinking she killed him. Joey notices the window is open and hatches a plan to create a poking device so that they can find out if he really is dead. The friends use a bunch of take-out chopsticks and create a pole that just reaches in ugly naked guy’s window. They start poking and luckily a few seconds later ugly naked guy starts swatting at the stick. The curse was lifted!

Sure, like I said we’re all afraid of something. Whether that something be spiders, the dark, dying, skydiving, or whatever doesn’t matter. There’s fear in everyone, but sometimes we can get caught up in fear that shouldn’t really exist. By this I mean, most of us have that one fear of something that we would would never happen or would never be true but we’re scared anyway. Take for example a zombie apocalypse, the end of the world, Phoebe’s fear of the dentist, my fear of haunted houses- all of these can be considered irrational. We know that the world won’t end any time soon, that zombies aren’t real, that going to the dentist won’t kill someone you know, and that haunted houses aren’t really haunted and no those people in costumes aren’t going to eat you. Yet even though we know all these truths and see the holes in our fears, we’re still afraid. You may not agree with my definition of an irrational fear and that’s fine- these are just my ideas. Even though these fears are irrational, I think they contribute to our personalities and that they aren’t necessarily bad to have. I’ve always had the fear of someone coming in my room at night and killing me. Every day I wake up still alive. I consider this to be my irrational fear because even though I know there is a very slim chance of me being murdered in my sleep, I’m still scared it could. I don’t think this irrational fear is bad. Sure it makes me paranoid, but my paranoia is good in my opinion because it means I’m cautious of myself and my surroundings. Phoebe’s fear is irrational as well but it’s a part of her quirky and compassionate personality. She loves everyone she knows and doesn’t wish death upon any of them. So in the end, irrational fears may not be the scariest thing in the world because that honor goes to ugly naked guy.

The One With the Fake Party

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Humans are curious beings. We question everything and want to know everything we can. The greatest mystery we will ever come across is the age old question: Does (s)he like me?

     

“We have to have a surprise ‘Bon Voyage’ party for Emily, but actually it’s for Joshua.”

Rachel is a personal shopper at Bloomingdales and has her sights set on her client Joshua. She doesn’t have the balls to just ask Joshua on a date but she’s tired of waiting for him to make the first move. He tells her he’s not ready to date again after his divorce at one of their fittings but Rachel is persistent. She decides that her only option is to throw a fake party so that she can invite Joshua and take their relationship to the next step: outside of the office. It’s “the perfect opportunity to seduce him.” Instead the night just turns into Rachel embarrassing herself in every way. She tries to play hard to get but loses patience. Next, she tries seducing him by showing him how she can tie a cherry stem with her tongue… yeah, she chokes on it. When putting on her ‘lucky dress’ just isn’t enough, Rachel has the brilliant idea of playing spin the bottle. The bottle lands on Joshua and just as she is about to kiss him the baby kicks Phoebe so the game unfortunately ends. In her grand finale, Rachel puts on her high school cheer leading uniform and performs a stunt that ends with her getting a swollen lip. Joshua wants to leave so they go to get his coat and Rachel finally reveals her feelings. She learns that Joshua likes her too but he’s not ready to date. Now all she’s left with is well, no, not even her dignity… but wait Joshua’s back and this time he wants a kiss! Looks like Rach got what she wanted all along.

Whether or not someone likes you is the one question that everyone hesitates to ask. We try everything we can to figure out the answer without actually confronting the other person. We have our friends ask around, we try to decipher body language and text messages, or we try to yank it out of them without ever asking like Rachel did. Why do we go to such extensive and annoying lengths to find out whether they like us or not? Why not just go straight to the person themselves? Well for me, I’m afraid of rejection. I think everyone is. If they don’t like you back, you feel like you aren’t good enough and that’s not a pleasant feeling. The fear of rejection scares us so much into just guessing and wondering without ever knowing how the other person feels. In many cases, both people are having the same thoughts but because neither one wants to be the first ask or tell it’s forever a mystery. But we can’t live in a mystery, so instead we concoct plots and hatch plans to figure out what the other person is feeling. Sometimes these plans can work and the question does not need to be asked, but most of the time they result in what happened to Rachel. They don’t work but they lead to the forthcoming of the truth. So I guess in a way all of Rachel’s scheming did work in the end. She solved her mystery and she got her kiss… well she would have if it wasn’t for Chandler watching them like a creep.

 

The One With All the Rugby

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In a previous post, we discussed those little white lies that we tend to tell. This time we’re going to discuss how people can sometimes let those little lies get way out of hand.

“When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?”

Chandler and Rachel are spotted at the nail salon when none other than….. Janice, Chandler’s ex, shows up. Next thing we know Chandler and Janice are dating again. Only problem is that Chandler can’t stand her and all her “little annoying things.” He doesn’t know how to break things off in a nice way so he decides to tell her that he’s been transferred to Yemen. This little white lie spirals out of control when Janice insists on helping Chandler pack and escort him to the airport. At the gate Chandler tries to explain quietly to the ticket woman that he is not in fact buying a ticket to Yemen and that he is going to just hand her a library card so it looks like he is. The woman will not allow it so Chandler has to pay for a $2000 ticket to Yemen. They walk to the boarding gate and Chandler expects Janice to finally leave. To his dismay she doesn’t because she wants to see the plane take off. This forces Chandler to actually board the plane and fly to Yemen.

There’s a point at which these little white lies become more of a hassle that we anticipate.  I believe there’s also a point at which we need to come forward and tell the truth. For Chandler, that probably should’ve been before buying a $2000 plane ticket. But it’s hard for people to break a lie. It’s like breaking a promise except the exact opposite because those are one of the easiest things to break. I think we feel like we can’t turn back on a lie because letting someone know we were lying is worse than the actual act of lying. No matter what we feel guilty and we end up paying for it, literally in Chandler’s case. Wouldn’t our lives be so much easier if we were upfront with people from the beginning? Once again, we lie to preserve the emotions of another person(s). Chandler thought that telling Janice that he was being transferred to Yemen would be less hurtful to her than him breaking up with her. We lie because we don’t want to harm others but in the end we just hurt ourselves and them even more by lying. Chandler should have just listened to Joey and ended things with Janice right away. If only everyone was as smart as Joey. Wait a minute… I take that back.

The One Where No One’s Ready

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People tend to argue over the stupidest things sometimes. We know that the fighting won’t get us anywhere but we do it anyway. No one likes to give in to their opponent. It’s a type of immaturity that we never out grow.

“I’m Chandler. Could I be wearing anymore clothes?”

Chandler has made the chair in Monica and Rachel’s apartment his own for the time being, but when he gets up to use the little boy’s room, things take a turn for the worst. Joey sits in the chair. Now this causes a catastrophe and not one that Ross can handle at the moment.  Chandler claims since he never left the room and Joey very well knew he’d be coming back that the chair is still under his command. Joey argues this saying that the chair was empty so it could be anyone’s. Ross is able to convince Chandler to go get dressed for their outing. While he’s changing, Chandler hides all of Joey’s underwear. When he gets back to Monica’s, Joey is still unwilling to leave the chair. When Ross finally makes him, Joey takes the cushions with him which are the “essence of the chair” according to Chandler. When Joey sees that his underwear are missing, he warns Chandler that he is going to do the exact opposite to him. Just a moment later in comes Joey wearing all of Chandler’s clothes. And let’s not forget the fact that he was going commando.

This kind of  bickering and the consequential acts of outdoing one another are immature and pointless. Yet, people of all ages partake in this, what seems to be, beloved pastime. People are always bickering and usually the argument is never actually settled. You always come across that one married couple arguing over something that seems to be a serious matter.. that is until you get closer and hear that it’s about who was supposed to turn the lights on the front porch off. Neither person will admit that it was his or her responsibility and the argument just dies out. Why do people pick arguments over the most minimal things? Do we just love drama and confrontation? I mean, our culture does, after all, love reality television which is all about the drama. Are we just bored of normal conversation so we decide to nitpick and spice things up? I don’t think making each other mad is a good means of creating excitement. You know what, I think we argue because of our lack of communication and aversion to listening to others. People aren’t able to express their feelings well when the other person isn’t listening and this causes confusion which can lead to argumentation. Or maybe it’s that people just don’t communicate with one another. We just assume that they can read our mind and know that that’s not their chair to sit in. Now my friends have developed a system to avoid Joey and Chandler’s confrontation. Before you leave your seat you simply announce “fives” and this reserves your seat for five whole minutes! Alas, not even this can stop the arguing. My friends will still bicker over whether the person actually said fives or if the person ran out of time. However, it would have saved Joey the exhaustion of putting on Chandler’s entire wardrobe.