Monthly Archives: February 2013

The One Where Phoebe Runs

In today’s world, almost anything out of the ordinary embarrasses us. Why do we care so much?

"She looks like a cross between kermit the frog and the six million dollar man." -Rachel

“She looks like a cross between kermit the frog and the six million dollar man.” -Rachel

Rachel invites Phoebe to go running in the park with her as a “roommate bonding” activity. They get to the park and Phoebe gives Rachel a head start but when Phoebe passes by flailing her arms and legs spread far apart, Rachel can’t help but pretend she has no idea who Phoebe is. Rachel tells Ross and Monica about the strange running and asks their advice on how to get out of running with Phoebe again. Monica suggests just telling the truth and Rachel agrees until Phoebe walks in. Rachel instantly lies saying that Monica tripped her and now she won’t be able to run. Phoebe is really bummed and blames Monica who just goes along with the lie. The next day Rachel sneaks out for her run and is surprised by Phoebe who caught her at the park. She accuses Rachel of lying so she could run by herself. Rachel tries to make up an excuse but Phoebe isn’t buying it and ‘runs’ away. When Phoebe comes home Rachel apologizes for lying. Phoebe asks for the truth and Rachel admits that the way Phoebe runs embarrasses her and people stare. Phoebe asks why she cares about the people and Rachel says “because they’re people!” Phoebe doesn’t understand why she cares so much when she’ll never see them again. Phoebe explains to Rachel that she runs the way she did when she was a kid because it’s the only way to make it fun. The next time Rachel goes on a run she tries running like Phoebe and realizes that it really is fun and freeing!

Embarrassment seems to be a very common feeling among people today. Often times, we aren’t only embarrassed of ourselves but we’re embarrassed by our friends and family. Whenever my friends start creating a ruckus, I can’t help but look over my shoulder and see if anyone is watching. I suppose I’m afraid that people will judge me for being friends with such “obnoxious” or “annoying” people if that’s how they see it. But why do I, and Rachel, care so much about what strangers think? I think it comes from our self-conscious culture. We all want to fit a description and we’re conscious of our actions and appearance in public. We don’t want anyone to see behind the mask in fear of rejection. But why hide our differences? We should embrace them. Like Phoebe, we’ll find a new sense of freedom if we are true to ourselves. What matters is that we accept ourselves, not the acceptance from others. I ask you to try running like Phoebe, or do whatever you’re embarrassed to do, and see what it feels like… you might be surprised.

The One With the Male Nanny

In the past, it seemed that some jobs were meant only for women and others only for men but nowadays the gender mold is breaking. Some people are all for the movement while for others, like Ross, not so much.

"I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there." -Ross

“I’m sorry I’m the only one who isn’t in love with Gary Poppins out there.” -Ross

Rachel and Ross are interviewing nannies to watch Emma so that Rachel can go back to work. After filtering through numerous interviewees who just aren’t up to par, the two meet an amazing candidate named Sandy whom Rachel falls in love with right off the bat. Ross on the other hand is quite skeptical since the candidate happens to be a man. Rachel is so into him and he shows great qualities but Ross can’t let go of the fact that he’s a male nanny. He even blurts out the question if Sandy is gay. While he is actually engaged to a woman, Sandy realizes it may be a little unorthodox for some people for a man to be their nanny but he loves his job. Rachel wants to hire him but Ross thinks it’s just weird. He gives in anyway and lets Rachel hire Sandy. Later Ross is talking to Monica about Sandy when Joey walks in and he agrees that a man being a nanny is weird. However, the next day Ross comes home to see Joey and Sandy playing with puppets together and cannot believe his eyes. He storms out of the room and tells Rachel that he can’t go through with this. Rachel decides that they can fire him but Ross has to be the one to do it. When Ross goes to fire him, Sandy has no hard feelings but he wants to know what the problem was. Ross tells him he’s not comfortable with Sandy’s sensitivity and Sandy asks why that is. Ross begins to talk about how he always felt like his dad thought he was too sensitive and he begins to cry. Sandy comforts him and well you guessed it he’s no longer fired.

Gender stereotypes have been around for a while. We’ve all been told that girls can’t be as athletic and strong as boys or that boys can’t be as sensitive and graceful as women. Yet there are women body builders and wrestlers and male ballerinas and ice-skaters if we’re taking those stereotypes to the extreme. The deal is that just because you’re born with a certain appearance doesn’t mean you can’t act how you want or be who you want to be. If you’re a woman and you want to be CEO of a company you can be and if you’re a man and you want to be a stay at home father you can be! You can do whatever you want as long as it makes you happy. You don’t have to fall under the stereotypical male and female roles. Recently more men and women have been breaking the mold and I think it’s great! Why shouldn’t men and women be able to have the same jobs without it being regarded as weird like it was for Sandy to be a male nanny? People can do whatever they want and be whatever they want. You shouldn’t stay away from a job or hobby you love just because some people may think it’s unorthodox or inappropriate. If it makes you happy, I say screw them and do it! You can’t care about what other people think or you’ll be miserable. Even Joey knows that!

The One Where Heckles Dies

When it comes to what we believe in some people can be very open-minded but others can be very close-minded and stubborn. Take Phoebe and Ross for example..

"Uh oh, it's scary scientist man!" -Phoebe

“Uh oh, it’s scary scientist man!” -Phoebe

The annoying downstairs neighbor Mr. Heckles dies and Phoebe can still sense his presence in the apartment so she helps him by yelling “go into the light Mr Heckles!” Everyone else just chuckles and Phoebe lets them scoff at her. She acknowledges that there are many things she doesn’t believe in either but that doesn’t mean they aren’t true like evolution. Of course, this gets Ross’s boxers (briefs?) in a twist. He can’t believe that Phoebe thinks evolution is just a “nice story.” Ross just cannot let it go and tries to persuade Phoebe into believing it exists. Phoebe asks if they can just agree to disagree but Ross says that he can’t just stand by while she believes something that is wrong. Phoebe tells him he needs to put himself “under the microscope” and see why he cares so much about making everyone agree with him. Later on at Monica’s, Ross shows up with a briefcase full of fossils to prove Phoebe wrong. She cuts him off to say that she doesn’t deny evolution she just sees it as one of many possibilities. Ross rebuts that it’s the only possibility. She asks him to be more open-minded and to consider the fact that there is a “teeny-tiny possibility” he could be wrong about this. He begrudgingly agrees and Phoebe can’t believe he caved! She asks him how he will be able to face himself for just giving up on his beliefs so easily. Ross is speechless.

What our good friend Ross learned is that just because someone believes something different than you do, it doesn’t mean that they are wrong and it doesn’t mean that you are wrong either. For every phenomenon there is an infinity of possible explanations and you have the right to believe in whichever you choose. Along with our ability to believe what we want comes a responsibility to respect that other people have that same power and their beliefs have just as much value as yours. I know it can be frustrating when someone doesn’t agree with you or even when they don’t allow you to express your beliefs but we must still be respectful of one another. Ross had a hard time respecting Phoebe’s opinion of evolution but she understood that he believed very strongly in it’s existence and didn’t try to persuade him otherwise. Differing beliefs can lead to many conflicts among friends and family members and even strangers, but with open-minds we can all express our values in a positive way without demeaning someone else’s.

 

The One With the Cuffs

We all like to poke fun but when does a joke go too far?

"This was just in case you pulled a monica! Honey come on have a sense of humor. You were never able to laugh at yourself." - Judy

“This was just in case you pulled a monica! Honey come on have a sense of humor. You were never able to laugh at yourself.” – Judy

Monica begrudgingly decides to cater a party for her mom because she needs the money. As Monica is preparing the food at her mothers house she lets her curiosity get the best of her and asks her mother why she hired her. To her surprise, she hired her because she had heard rave reviews from friends. Monica can’t believe her mom actually thinks she does something well. Phoebe notices that one of Monica’s fake nails is missing and Monica starts to panic as she realizes it’s in one of the quiche. She has to tell her mother but hopes she doesn’t freak out. Her mom does quite the opposite. She had actually made a bet with Jack that Monica would mess up and “pull a Monica.” Judy tries to tell Monica that she does have faith in her but Monica doesn’t want to hear any of it. She blames herself for thinking her mom would change. Phoebe says so what you pulled a Monica? Just change the meaning of it! Monica decides to go back downstairs and serve something of her own and not her mom’s back-up lasagnas. Everyone eats Monica’s casserole instead of the pasta and even her mother admits that she liked it. She admits that she was very impressed and Monica is smitten.

We all like to nit pick and joke about the little things our friends and family do. Some of us can take the joke and others can’t. Sometimes the joke is funny at first but after a while it starts to sink in causing self-esteem issues. For Monica, the phrase “pulling a Monica” did just that because it meant that she had done something wrong as always. After a while, this can really start to hurt someone’s feelings. People making fun of your misfortune isn’t comical at all. Finally, Monica stood up for herself and did something far from wrong. She impressed her mother and she gained pride in herself. I, like Monica, have dealt with being picked on in the past. One of my closest friends used to joke about my height (up until tenth grade I was a munchkin). At first, the nickname “butt munch” was funny. It sounded funny and so I laughed. I knew I was short, but after a while the name started to upset me. It made me feel insecure about my height. I reached breaking point one day when the joke went too far. I was walking down the hallway behind the tallest kid in our grade when my friend pushed me into him and sure enough I ate ass. She couldn’t stop laughing and I was beyond mortified and angry. I told her I had had enough with her calling me a butt munch and that it really hurt my feelings. She did not see that coming but since that day she hasn’t muttered the nickname once. Jokes can be fun and we all should laugh at ourselves sometimes, but when we start to take it personally is where the line needs to be drawn. Keep that in mind the next time you tell your friend they “pulled a (insert name here).”