Here’s my dilemma, a family member that I was very close to betrayed my trust. She did something sneaky behind my back, multiple times, and lied about it. Then instead of admitting the offense and apologizing she tried to justify her actions by attacking and starting rumors about me.

So that’s a summary of what happened. This weekend is the first-time I’ve seen this person in about a year, and I thought I’d gotten over it until I saw them. Does forgiveness mean I can’t hold a grudge? Okay I need some help with what I’m feeling, so let’s go to the all knowing Oprah and see what she says about forgiveness. Check this out…

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NF-ND9X4wU

The link that I found was not from Oprah but Iyanla Vanzant, and it really hit home for me. She says forgiveness is not saying what happened was ok, it’s about learning from what happened and moving forward in a positive way.

So what did I learn? I learned that I should have addressed the small offenses and been very clear about what I would tolerate in my life. Looking back, I can see that I should have assessed the facts and not totally disregard what was happening. The moral to this post is, we teach people how to treat us by what we accept from them. Lesson learned, nea to grudges and yea to setting boundaries.
xoxo
Marq