by Jordan McGhee

Ask my sister how I feel about her,
Ask her how she took care of me as child,
Ask her how she used to read me stories at night so I could go to sleep,
Ask her how she taught me where to catch all 151 Pokémon,
Ask her about how she would let me win at Mortal Kombat,
Ask her how she cooked dinner every night because I couldn’t,
Ask her about the shirts I took that were never returned,
Ask her how she took me to friend’s houses during high school,
Ask her about the time the house smelled of smoke and she took the blame,
Ask her about how depressed I was when she was leaving for college,
Ask her about the man who she fell in love with in her anatomy class,
Ask her how much she wanted to please him because she loved him,
Ask her about how he convinced her a little weed never hurt anyone,
Ask her about the drunken time her boyfriend didn’t understand no,
Ask her when she decided marijuana was not enough to mask the pain,
Ask her when she quit going to classes and moved back home,
Ask her about when her fist connected with my eye for playing video games too loudly,
Ask her about the white powder under her nose that made her throw boiling water at me,
Ask her about the many plates of spaghetti I made her when she had the munchies,
Ask her how I took care of her when the drugs made her sick,
Ask her when the drugs made her brain as sick,
Ask her what it was like to get a mugshot,
Ask her how it felt to call home from the county jail and explain to our parents she assaulted someone while she was high,
Ask her about the promise of never using drugs again when she was released from jail,
Ask her how proud she was when she had a baby boy a year later,
Ask her how son was a miracle since he was born three months early and was only a pound and seven ounces,
Ask her how it felt to have Children’s Youth Services take that baby boy,
Ask her how it felt to have three more babies taken away by God, divine intervention, or fate,
Ask her about when she started using drugs again,
Ask her when she got violent one morning in May with her roommate,
Ask her about when she got arrested again,
Ask her about how ecstatic she was when found innocent because we all knew she was guilty,
Ask her how angry it is to come home to her son calling his grandparents “mom” and “dad,”
Ask her how awkward it is for her and me to sit at the same dinner table,
Ask my sister how I feel about her.