Don’t Be Lonely…He Whispers

Horses aren’t competing machines, they are friends. “Horses lend us the wings we lack.” They are the angels watching me, guiding me.images-1

Time spent in competition was a fraction of what I actually did with my horse. Most of the time I was in my barn, on Renwood Farm, riding through the woods, smelling the air, and talking to my horse about life.

Weekends I looked forward too. Not because of the high school parties, or the time off from school, which was what my friends would be excited for, but my weekend was spent in the barn. By 9am my mom, sister, and I were in the barn feeding, cleaning, and chatting. Horses brought us three together. We stayed in the barn from early morning until 8pm at night when the sun went down. When I wasn’t training or competing, I went on trail rides in the woods with my mom and sister. We would ride for hours. My favorite trail ride was down the ridge.

imgresWe began walking down the quarter-mile driveway. Trees surrounded the road, it was shady, comforting, and relaxing. The air was fresh I could smell the trees as the wind blew softly. The leaves were all different colors; orange, red, brown, and green. The colors accented the gravel dirt road.

I vividly remember the leaves on the path, the placing of the rocks, the mountain side view of the Delaware river, and the hills the horses climbed as we trekked home.

“You and your horse. His strength and beauty. Your knowledge and patience and determination and understanding and love. That’s what fuses the two of you onto this marvelous partnership that makes you wonder… ‘What can heaven offer any better than what I have here on earth?’ Monica Dickens beautifully states the intimate relationship shared between a rider and their horse. Trail rides brought this partnership into unison. As I walked along peacefully with my horse that’s where I found myself. Horses made me feel vulnerable, but safe.

I often spent hours in the barn to find something missing in my day; if I imageswas feeling lonely the barn would make it go away. That’s often why being at college can be so challenging, because the hardest days for me I cannot go to the barn to fix it. I often feel lonely during the week, like most first-year students, and the barn isn’t there to keep me company. My horse isn’t there to keep me company. I think of his soft muzzle, his warm breath, his soft fur, and his gentle eyes. A smile captures my face, and the loneliness slowly fades. Although the barn is no longer right there for me to go when I need it, the feeling of it is there, the memories are in my mind. The smell of hay, the sound of the horses eating grain, the water filling up in the buckets are images and sounds I do not forget. Those are the visuals that fill my mind when I am lonely. The barn, the horses, complete me.

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