So often in college you always feel like you are trying to catch up. It can feel like a sprint to get from one place to the next, or finish one assignment, then cram for a test. It just seems like you can’t ever pump the breaks, but that you always have to keep going. At times, I’ve let this get the best of me, but I’ve said it before on this blog: college is the long game. It requires endurance and persistence and unwavering will to keep going even when that is honestly the last thing you would rather do. Sometimes we are so focused on what we are doing that we can forget where we are headed. “What it’s all for? What’s it all mean? Who am I?” – These are the questions I seem to ask myself often, looking for something more than to just go through life, but to live it with a bigger purpose. The journey in finding who I am and what I have to offer the world is never ending; it’s what motivates me each day. As a student, it’s easy to believe that we are defined by test scores, or popularity, or the number of followers we have on social media, but time and time again, our inability to find happiness in these things has proven that they are not enough. As I have realized these things through my own experiences, I have learned that my moral integrity and sense of purpose has given me a greater desire to find more passion in my life and in the path that was planned for me.
In pursuit of my dreams and goals, I have always been aware of what it would take. Sometimes I live so determined to make things work out that I lose sight of important things. To work on this, I continue to remind myself that my journey is a process that cannot be rushed. It requires patience. It requires sacrifice. It requires persistence. I owe it to the people that have invested in me to be something they can be proud of, and it is my duty to repay the people who saw something in me when I couldn’t see it in myself. So many people often quit and give up on a dream because they do not know why they are doing something. Once I realized the bigger picture and learned that my actions are not rooted in myself, I learned that my intentions were not about me, but those around me. When I saw there was a bigger purpose to how to live my life, and honor the people that have helped me in my struggles, it was enough to work harder and to be better.
It’s so easy to give up on myself sometimes, but it helped to remember that I can’t do things out of selfish desires. Without a driving force or bigger purpose, so many students can feel like it’s easier to give up, but I want to be pushed. I want to take a shot at adversity, because at least I would tried, and given my best effort. For me, it’s not enough to just go through the motions of life. I need to live through the process of experience even if the end isn’t perfect. Nobody can have everything they want in life, but there is a plan for each of us. I think my experiences and characteristics were given to me so that I can fulfill God’s plan for my life. I have faced my setbacks and faced my challenges, but I wouldn’t be who I am without them.