This I Believe Rough Draft: I Believe in Taking One More Breath

I know this rough draft is over the limit so when I’m revising I will cut it down.

Take one more breath. Push through. Don’t give up. These were the lines that went through my head when I sang Ave Maria for my sickly grandmother.
We all knew it was gonna happen. All the medication, the doctors, the frequent ICU visits, and the ridiculous arguments my mom would have with her about her crazy Polish remedies… that would only make it worse. I never realized just how sick my Babci was until one ICU visit when they strangely sent her home for hospice. Little did I know what this was, that they were sending her home to share her last days with her family. I spent every waking moment I had with her. I even missed school. I felt the need to be by her side so that she would never feel alone or scared. Even though we could not communicate, I would force a smile for her, pushing back the tears to give her some hope of happiness as she lay helpless in a bleak hospital bed. What else could I do for her?
The night she stopped responding or opening her eyes I knew I only had a short time left. I wanted to give her one last thing, one last gift before she left us. My mom places her hand on my shoulder as I grasp to my Babcis motionless hand and I know what I can give, the gift of song. She always loves to hear me sing, even though she never understands the words, she follows my voice, embracing each melody. The gift of song is priceless and pure. As I take a deep breath to begin the song, I’m already choking up. It’s as if every note sang and every breath in, someone is punching me in the gut and ripping my heart out. I hear my voice crack, but the notes still continue, just like the tears down my face. But I don’t give up. Every time the air stops and I can’t breathe, I stop, and take one more breath. One more breath. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done. And it seems like it takes centuries, but I finally reach the end of my song as I mummer “Kocham Cię”, meaning “I love you”. My song could have been one of the last things she heard, for that night my Babci passed away.
I was asked to sing the same song at her funeral and was terrified. If I could barely sing the song for her while she was living, how could I possibly sing it in front of others after she has passed? But I wanted to make her proud, so I agreed. The moment before I began my song, terror was running through my head. What if I messed up? Would I let her down? What if I don’t sound good? What if I can’t finish? Right then, I made myself stop and take one more breath. I pushed my fears away and focused on my goal. I managed to sing the song to its completion without stopping or breaking. I learned that day that there are a lot of things in life that are difficult and scare us because we don’t want to fail. But I believe if we focus on our goal, we can accomplish anything we set our minds to. I believe in not giving up. I believe in pushing through the hard times. And I believe in taking one more breath.

Leave a Reply