What would happen if we were freed from that inner critic?
I recently watched the TED talk, “Why thinking your ugly is bad for you” and it resonated with me deeply. Throughout it points out the painful ways in which we hold our bodies to high standards and let them preoccupy us.
A few months ago, before watching this TED talk,, I sparked one of my idealist conversations with my friends and I asked them to imagine if we were not able to compliment each other on our looks. Where would our attention redirect too? I can’t tell you how many times a day I will compliment someone’s hair or tell someone I like their shoes. I like to make people feel good about themselves however, I wish I instead acknowledge the depth in their being. I want to compliment their ideas, their dreams, their actions. Some people discusses how they will admit that it feels good to be compliment on their hair and told me to consider taking a less extreme point of view. This made me reflect and I wondered whether I was being too critical. However, my point is that I just want people to have more confidence in their actions and idea than their looks. Humans are dynamic and we do not need to refuse a compliment to our looks but it is the imbalance and disproportion of attention that scares me.
Preparing for finals has actually put these thoughts in my spotlight. I have less time than ever, and I feel lucky if I shower, let alone put on make-up. I am rocking the all natural studious look. Due to a lack of time, I purely stop caring so much about what I look like and focus on learning. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I tell I look tired, run down, lack the ideal beauty, but it is something I acknowledge but it doesn’t stop me. However as this TED talk points out there are many young females who choose to do the opposite. They will avoid activities because of their appearance. They will stay silent during class, not because they don’t have an idea, but because they don’t want that idea to draw attention to how they look. That terrifies me.
There are hundreds of young girls posting on the internet, “Am I pretty?” seeking affirmation. I imagine a world where young girls are posting, “Listen to my idea”.
Meghan Ramsey ends with challenging us all to “start judging people by what they do, not what they look like”
In my personal life I have been trying to implement this, catching myself when I want to compliment someone’s hair and instead asking them a question about their research project. I want people to know that they are valued so much more than their appearance and additionally I would like to feel this way as well.