24
Sep 14

Prioritizing Principles

I feel compelled about the quality if my education.

What is the role of a professor?

  • To engage his students
  • To teach them
  • To challenge them
  • To care?
  • To encourage?
  • To inspire?

This is not the first time I have had a bad professor but this is one of the first times I have reflected so critically on it. My current professor

One of my current professors arguably does not teach during class. He reads off of the power points (something students can easily do on their own) which does not enhance the depth of the material. He often jokes that he is losing his memory and spends a substantial amount of time telling stories unrelated to the something matter. I understand that on a certain level professors may tell stories to engage their students, but in this case, it is distracting and irrelevant and it often leaves him lost as to where we were.

When students voice how they do not know or understand certain concepts, this professors will question, “How do you not know this already?”, “you should have learned this in X class”. Further in review, when I asked him to go over a problem, he asked me I  “day-dreamed” during class.  He has a habit of deflecting his responsibility to be a professor. No I do not day-dream. I am focused but the material is hard and I sometimes get confused which is why I come to reviews for clarification. 

The only reason I am doing well in this class is because I spend our googling explanations to the material. Lecture does not enhance my learning of the material.  I have watched youtube videos and gone to other professors sites. I think often because students want the good grade they work hard teaching themselves and get a good grade. The thing that motivates students is the structure of the grading system and the fear of failure so they will do more work on their own outside the course to learn.  This gives the professor the impression that he is doing something right when in actuality students are just using outside resources.

Maybe the lesson is that students need to learn how to teach themselves but I can learn that lesson elsewhere. When I am paying for a top ranked university education, I expect my professor to practice within that standard. Sometimes concepts are complex and students will not understand them for the first time on their own, and a professor should know how to dissect ideas and concepts and explain them easily. It is their job. If I am spending hours finding ways to be the best student, I expect my professor to reflect and spend hours figuring out the most effective way to teach.

Because of my frustrations, and because of so much reflection in the PLA on the value and standards of education, I decided I needed to do something. In our policy course last semester we often discussed in what ways we can improve the educational system and we discussed improving through open conversation and assessment. I was not going to wait for SRTEs so I decided open communication with the professor would be most effective. In the most diplomatic way possible, I tried to explain the challenges of the classroom to our professor. He seemed to hear me but not listen. He instead asked if I thought I was suited for this course. To me this was a question on my ability to learn.

What I wanted to say but did not do so, so bluntly is that I want excellence out of this university and want you to live up to that standard.

After talking with my professor and realizing the lack of impact I had made because of the seemingly lack of credibility my professor gave me, I decided to contact the department head. In doing this I felt a little extreme. I questioned, is this really worth it? People I talked to explained, “there are tons of professors that teach this way. You just need to deal with them.”

But I do not want to ignore a problem and ride it out. I want to fix the problem and enhance our education. I know somewhere there is a remarkable professor who teaches this material and that the students become more passionate because of this. Those students will be a step ahead of me.

I talked to the department head who immediately after I voiced my concerns said, “This is not excellence. This is mediocrity.” After a long conversation the department head explained that this is what we need to create progress. He has already assured me he is going to move forward to make changes given the context of my concerns. He is going to have people visit and observe the class and also talk to my professor. I do not dislike my professor as a human but I just want him passionately care about how effective his teaching style is.

In doing this I felt a little extreme demanding excellence but I think we need to set those standards and live up to them. Standing up  and taking action alone isn’t easy. It can sometimes be isolating. Even if you know it was the right thing to do, it may not feel good while doing it. Leadership isn’t easy nor it is always fun. A few of my classmates were incredibly confused on why I was doing such a thing. Leadership is prioritizing principles over your own ego.  I know other students in my class were frustrated but it was not pushing enough. Every one is busy and taking this action required my time. I want to continue to live a life where I prioritize principle and progress over anything else. I think that in this case taking action will ultimately make a positive impact even if it requires further discourse.


11
Sep 14

Room for Vulnerability.

It seems often when we discuss leadership, we ask the question, “What kind of leader do I want to be?”

In many ways this question does not get you far. It may make you question a lot. You may have many thoughts when you ask this question, but you are not making strides in leadership.

Instead I think we should ask ourselves, “What type of leader should I be in this moment?”, “In these circumstances, what skills do I have to make a positive impact?”

While this may be common knowledge to some people, I think it is important to point out and remind ourselves that different people have different leadership styles and that different positions require different leadership styles. And further to be even for specific, different circumstances need different leadership styles. In this light, the “best” leader is adaptable and versatile having a tool box of skills to pick from when the event presents itself.

Previously, I have often questioned the role of vulnerability in leadership. In my head I would generalize and ask, “Should leaders be vulnerable?”. After watching Brene Brown’s TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability, and reading her book Daring Greatly, the conclusion I came to was Yes, leaders should be vulnerable. However, no my opinion is shifting and instead I think leaders should have the option to be vulnerable, and reveal vulnerability when it is most useful.

However it some roles it seems vulnerability is limited. For example in many ways the role of President of the United States leaves little circumstances to reveal vulnerability.

Vulnerability by a presidency in not taken well often.Time and time again President’s keep their perceived weaknesses hidden (e.g. FDR’s paralysis). Recently, Obama endured harsh criticisms, when he revealed he did not have a plan of attack for ISIS. Some may simply just see this as disorganization, but I see it as Obama mistakenly deciding to reveal vulnerability in a time when people needed strength.

Reasonably, no one has a perfect plan of attack for ISIS so admitting a lack of plan is understandable for most people– just not when you are the president of the United States. It is a complex problem and being overly confident in knowing how to solve the problem is disingenuine. Vulnerability is a medium of revealing our genuine humane nature but in cases on national security, vulnerability and weakness should be advised to be excluded. In Obama’s case, it seemed his options were admit struggle or announce further military action, and in many eyes he made the wrong choice.

As President of the Unites States, it is his job in many ways to have the answers, the plans, the solutions to the complex problems in the world. For example, Obama admitted, ““If you watch the nightly news, it feels like the world is falling apart.” and also said, “we don’t have a strategy yet” in combating the Islamic state (New York Times). While both of these statements are genuine and vulnerable, in neither of these statements is Obama fulfilling his desired leadership role as president. In this case, being vulnerable is not useful.

Many people turn to the United States and particularly to the President of the United States for protection. As of yesterday, it seems Obama has changed his leadership style in dealing with ISIS and is now being an unwavering pillar of strength with rhetoric explaining he will “degrade and ultimately destroy” the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria.

Whether this is ultimately going to make the best impact is up to the future to decide. Ideally both sides would admit vulnerability and military action would not need to take place. Instead this world is designed to fight with strength and power and in order to remain on top the Obama administration is choosing to “degrade and ultimately destroy”. There is no solution in this case, for now Obama will and the U.S. will get criticized for being militarily involved, yet if we chose to do nothing we would be perceived as weak.

 


29
Aug 14

Confusion and Conflict

It is important to take time to know about the world. It is unfortunately very easy to get trapped in the “Penn State bubble” or my own “personal bubble”.

How can we remind ourselves to step outside ourselves? How can we remind ourselves to educate ourselves outside our primary interests? For me, one motivation is knowing that if I want to make an impact on the world I must know about the world. Another attempt at motivation is that I try to surround myself by people who are also interested in knowing in the world so that there is a social pressure to be up to date on events. And finally, I try to take opporturtunities like these blog posts and make them a time for me to read and critically question world events.

This week I am taking the time to better educate myself and understand the current events in Syria and the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. I am very confused on the details of the conflict and hope taking this time will help me to better understand the complexity of the war.  Much of this post will be facts about the current state of the world, but this post is an exercise of leadership for me; I am stepping outside with primary interests and challenging myself to be an educated citizen. If you are specialized in the subject or just disagree with anything I write below, please talk to me about it.

________________________________________________________

What is the ISIS?

ISIS stands for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. It is the Sunni Jihadist group in the Middle East, and in 2013, it “emerged from remnants of Al Queda and began to operate in Syria” (New York Times).

The Syrian Civil War seems to have provided ISIS with an opportunity to gain power.

” In 2013, Hezbollah entered the war in support of the Syrian army.[67][68] In the east, theIslamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS), a jihadist militant group which was initially linked to Al-Qaeda in Iraq, made rapid military gains in both Syria and Iraq, eventuallyconflicting with the other rebels. In July 2014, ISIS controlled a third of Syria’s territory and most of its oil and gas production, thus establishing itself as the major opposition force.[69]“--Syrian Civil War Wikipedia

 

Syrian Civil War

Screen Shot 2014-08-29 at 10.48.42 AM

The Syrian government has military support from Russia and Iran while the rebels have recieved weapons from Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and the United States.

 

Where is the line between the Rebel group and ISIS?

I am not entirely sure. I am trying to dissect this out. From my understanding the ISIS is a sub-set of the rebels, and in a way the ISIS group has taken advantage of the conflict to spread the power.

According to the New York Times, in recent months ISIS has gained large expanses of territory and “ISIS has become more attractive to would-be militants because, unlike Al Qaeda, it has seized territory that it rules by strict Islamic law.”

What is ISIS doing? Why are they dangerous?

The Obama Administration says the ISIS militant group “poses the greates threat to the United States since Al Qaeda before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.” (New York Times)

The ISIS is incredibly brutal and is gaining attraction through its reputation. They have tortured and mutilated citizens under the islamic creed.

The United Nations reported that in the 17 days from 5 to 22 June, ISIS killed more than 1,000 Iraqi civilians and injured more than 1,000.”-ISIS Wikipedia

“On 29 May, a village in Syria was raided by ISIS and at least 15 civilians were killed, including, according to Human Rights Watch, at least six children.[332] A hospital in the area confirmed that it had received 15 bodies on the same day.[333] The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights reported that on 1 June, a 102-year-old man was killed along with his whole family in a village in Hama.”- ISIS Wikipedia

Current State?

As of August 22, the United States is considering military air strikes on the ISIS in Syria. President Obama is attempting to create a long-term plan to fight of the Islamic State in Syria, but there is reasonable hesitance to put US military forces directly into the Syrian war (Wall Street Journal)

________________________________________________________

I definitely know more about the Syrian conflict than I did this morning. Here’s to continuing to better understanding the world around us and striving  for peace.


03
Aug 14

“You’re so cute”

I was recently asked by the alumni coordinator of my high school to submit a photo of myself researching in my lab for the high school newsletter. I responded “Of course”; it was a simple enough job task; it also helped me to reflect back to my high school years, and I thought about my lack of confidence at the time and how much I have grown since then. While I have dreamed of becoming a neurologist for a long time, I would have never expected that I would be doing neuroscience research in Germany right now. In high school, I often felt not good enough, or not smart enough; I was constantly questioning myself on whether I was “cut out” for my own dream.  Because of this, a part of me hoped that this simple picture and note could positively influence present high schoolers, that I could serve as a role model of the unexpected, and provide them with one example of opportunities that are ahead.

I was instructed to send a picture with a caption, so I sent the lab picture featured below, and provided the caption, “Jenny Dobson working in a molecular neurobiology lab in Erlangen, Germany researching the role of sphingolipid enzymes in Multiple Sclerosis”lab photo

The response I got was,  “Aw, Jenny!! You’re so cute in the lab!! Thanks so much for this!!”

…I look “cute”?  It does not matter to me whether or not I look “cute” in lab. What matters to me is that I conduct reliable research that could progress the understanding of a disease.

Part of me felt ridiculous for being bothered, and I would try to tell myself she was just being nice. I should just accept the compliment and move on. I guess it is okay to look “cute” in lab. 

But as I continued to think, I realized that it was not a problem if I looked “cute” in lab, but it bothered me that being cute was even a focal point to begin with.  Why not say “Thanks Jenny, it looks like your research is going well.” or “Good luck on your progress”.

I want to be respected for my intelligence, not how I look.  Sometimes I feel when people focus on appearance rather than skill sets or accomplishments, especially in a setting such as a research lab, it undermines hard work.  I recognize this is not someone’s intention when one says any of these things but I think these subtle comments or compliments need to be challenged.

A Verizon commercial was released in early June which emphasized similar sentiments, and particularly focused in on the rhetoric we use with young females, and how that could influence their interests in academics and career choices, particularly in science.

I provide a link to the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP3cyRRAfX0 (please watch)

The commercial starts with a girl toddler outside, exploring, reaching for a flower and a mother asking endearingly, “Who’s my pretty girl?”. The commercial progresses showing the young toddler growing up, and routinely but lovingly and subtly, being told not do things. A young girl walking in a creek with her mom telling her “not to get her dress dirty”. A  female teen with power tools gets told to “hand it over to her brother”.  The commercial ends with the statistic from the National Science Foundation that “66% of 4th grade girls say they like science and math, but only 18% of all college engineering majors are female”, providing further indication that complimenting females with “You’re pretty” and “You’re cute” brings their attention to their physical appearance,  and takes the focus off of their intelligence and curiosity, ultimately potentially discouraging them from entering hard science fields.

While I am secure enough in my passion that the words “Aw Jenny!! You’re so cute!!”,  do not make me question my career path,  it does bother me that even after I have worked so hard and filled my brain, that my cuteness or lack there of is still a focus at all. I cannot imagine an administrator sending that same message to a male counterpart (especially at the age of 20) , “Aw Michael!! You are so cute in lab!!”  I just tried saying it outloud to myself and it sounded awkward and unprofessional. However,  it has become so commonplace to compliment females in this manner. I do not care if you think I am cute; I want to be smart and I want to be respected for that, and with over 3 million views on that verizon commercial I know I am not alone.

 Compliment female’s minds and inspire their brains. 

 

 

 


22
Jul 14

The game I used to play

 

 

I remember crying weekly over the college process. I felt engulfed. I saw it as “my moment” to prove to the world that I was good enough, smart enough, just enough.  I wanted my intelligence to be respected and I thought an elite brand was my ticket for recognition.

I would usually work from 7 am to until past midnight. Caffeine replaced sleep and I was strangely proud of it. I remember joking with my friends about my strange unhealthy sleeping patterns, occasionally pulling “all-nighters” or waking up at 4 am to squeeze in some final reviews; a part of me loved that people knew how I hard I was trying to get to the top. I knew I was sacrificing things most humans cherished, and it made me feel like I was more dedicated than the rest of them.  I skipped family dinners and got upset when my parents would question why I worked so hard. They would say “You don’t have to be the best” and those words would crush my soul; I would reflect silently, brewing thoughts of they-just-do-not-understand, “If I didn’t want to be the best, why would I be killing myself?”.

While I praise Germantown Academy for many reasons and hope to one day send my children there, my crazy confused mindset was only nourished  while attending the well-respected private school. The environment was filled with competition and I succumbed to a strict definition of “success”. Freshman year I felt surrounded by people who were better than me; I hated that feeling and I pushed myself in every direction to “catch up”. I continued climbing and wanted my college acceptance letters to finally provide me with so affirmation that I had “made it”.

Senior year was filled with stress and fear.

“Why isn’t my GPA higher?”

             If only I could be as smart as blank.

“Where are you applying?…oh”

Now three years later I realize none of that actually matters and none of that stress determined “my destiny”. The place I ended up is the place where I felt the most genuine and least amount of pressure to be better than anyone else.

 

In the process of my growth I have become more comfortable with improving myself, rather than proving myself. I am trying to uncover genuine passion rather than playing the comparison game. I will admit that there is still this part of me that wants to be recognized, wants that shout-out, wants the award,  even when I know I am not better than anyone else. However I no longer believe an award or top ranked anything  is any reflection on my ability to make a positive impact on this world.

However I will admit,  now threw years later, that close-minded ladder climbing human still creeps up on me every time I think about medical school once in a while, and when it does I try to remind myself that a 4.0 does not really matter, what matters is a dedication to humanity and a passion for learning.

The way I see it, every human wants to feel important and in our current  culture, we are  convincing ambitious confused teenagers that this is the only path. The college process, where students are expected to outline their entire identity, ironically often strips individuals of any genuine reflection because it makes the criteria for acceptance so strict. College pursuing students cannot figure out who they want to be because they are spending too much time being the person who will be accepted.

We are encouraging them to do service, because it will look good on their resume. Do not take a break and go to the park with your family; that experience won’t make a strong college essay. A dinner with your friends? Forget about it.

 

These thoughts of mine are  better further articulated in William Deresiewicz’s new article, “Don’t send your kid to the Ivy League“. In it he describes the perspective of the admission’s staff and the rather brutal manner in which the kids who are killings themselves to be enough just are not enough. He further describes the facade of these super humans that do get their acceptance,

“These enviable youngsters appear to be the winners in the race we have made of childhood. But the reality is very different, as I have witnessed in many of my own students and heard from the hundreds of young people whom I have spoken with on campuses or who have written to me over the last few years. Our system of elite education manufactures young people who are smart and talented and driven, yes, but also anxious, timid, and lost, with little intellectual curiosity and a stunted sense of purpose: trapped in a bubble of privilege, heading meekly in the same direction, great at what they’re doing but with no idea why they’re doing it.”

When I reflect and read these articles, I realize no one is winning this game, this race to the top. There may be jobs, money, and a network at the top, but how many people are achieving those things because they genuinely believe it will bring them joy? Deresiewicz hones in on the pivotal phrase that gives ambitious individuals hope, the “return on investment”, or the optimism that is will all be worth it in the end.

“Return on investment”: that’s the phrase you often hear today when people talk about college. What no one seems to ask is what the “return” is supposed to be. Is it just about earning more money? Is the only purpose of an education to enable you to get a job? What, in short, is college for?

The first thing that college is for is to teach you to think. That doesn’t simply mean developing the mental skills particular to individual disciplines. College is an opportunity to stand outside the world for a few years, between the orthodoxy of your family and the exigencies of career, and contemplate things from a distance.

Learning how to think is only the beginning, though. There’s something in particular you need to think about: building a self. The notion may sound strange. “We’ve taught them,” David Foster Wallace once said, “that a self is something you just have.” But it is only through the act of establishing communication between the mind and the heart, the mind and experience, that you become an individual, a unique beinga soul. The job of college is to assist you to begin to do that. Books, ideas, works of art and thought, the pressure of the minds around you that are looking for their own answers in their own ways.

The push is disconnecting me from who I am us with who we are.

 

 

 


08
Jul 14

Rehab anyone?

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16
Jun 14

The freedom to make a mistake.

It is really easy to remember the feeling of an embarrassing moment. With the blush of my cheeks, it feels etched into my skin and memory. For this reason, when I make a mistake, it stays with me. This sounds painful but it my recent job I recognize the power this has.

Instead of passively being giving instructions to follow, in my job I am constantly encouraged to navigate on my own but that if I make a mistake, it is okay. I come into work and I have a task but there is no step by step recipe. Initially this made me feel uncomfortable. I felt like I was getting set up to fail. How was I supposed to learn something I had never done without instructions?  However now I realize all of the more that I learn when I get to go into uncharted territory, recognizing the amount of concentration and thought a task requires without a guide manual.

Inevitably, I make the wrong decision now and again. It feels uncomfortable naturally.  I get embarrassed; I am human. Yet within these mistakes is something more substantial and I gain more, than anything I would have learned had my boss just given me instructions. I am learning to become accountable, to problem-solve, to understand myself under stress and pressure. And because the pain of making a mistake is powerful the first time, it brings my consciousness to a new level the next time I attempt it.

I am learning to fail greatly.

 


01
May 14

The Power of Presenting

 

In order to make an influence you must have an ability to communicate effectively whether that be in your writing, your speaking, or in your actions. Through the past few weeks in practicing for this presentation I have come to value the power of public speaking even more.  While not every leader that I admire has remarkable public speaking skills, it is an asset that would make their leadership all the more influential.

However it is easier said that done. In practicing for my own presentation, I watched a variety of TED talks as role model for the presenters I would like to be. I created an ideal self, a dream speaker, who not only articulated my complex thoughts cleanly but also engaged my audience.

The gap between knowing the leader you want to be and actually attaining that skill level is continuously taunting. However for a skill like public speaking it is a challenge with conquering.

Because of this,  I think it is imperative that PLA continue to promote public speaking practice. We have substantial amount of writing practice, with this blog I am currently writing and with our policy paper, but the only presentation we given is the policy one today. While one can argue that talking face to face is becoming rarer, I do not want to see the skill of public speaking go on the way side. If a goal of PLA is to shape leader we must ensure that we instill a skill-set within our students. By encouraging students to continue to step out of our comfort zones, we will ensure that PLA students are leaving with a strong leadership tool box than they began with.

Below I provide an example of a TED talk who I consider to be a strong public speaker. He also has an intriguing perspective on leadership.

http://www.ted.com/talks/drew_dudley_everyday_leadership

 


18
Apr 14

Team Leading

I’m going to use this blog as a reflection on the dynamics of my policy team. The past two weeks we have made incredible strides.

After a meeting with a lot of stressed faces, realizing we only had a month left to write this policy, we turned it around and got focused. During this meeting, we revealed our concerns of our policy and delegated assignments. Both of these are important when working with a team. One must be able to communicate effectively and also voice one’s strengths to complete a task.

From that meeting, we managed to then create a detailed outline on the structure of our policy, and finally this week, we have 15 pages written. Throughout this time, we have been meeting and motivating each other. By providing each other with assignments, we ignited some dedication to the task at hand and made each member accountable. Accountability can be a powerful force in leadership and teamwork and it seems our group used it effectively to get each other moving.

Another huge component of teamwork is trust. I think many of us are familiar with projects where the amount of work individuals did was not equally distributed. However, in this team this was not the case. Everyone was ready to work. Accepting that we could trust each other to do the work assigned was hard at times. I can admit that if I have a doubt that something will get done, then I feel a need to do the work myself. However through this project I have been reminded to trust and to never underestimate someone’s abilities. I very proud of the work we have accomplished so far.

Further, I think it was important for all of us to realize that we are not going to be the conventional “leader” and every point in our project. The beauty of team is its fluidity, and compilation of strengths and weaknesses. The team itself can be a leader, which sometimes boggles people mind. How can a group be a leader? To me it makes sense because the dynamic allows us to constantly push forward and lead, even if we are not all leading at one. Each of us were able to make decisions on when to step forward and “lead the way”, and when to step back and release some control. Determining when to do which is sometimes difficult, but having practice through this project was definitely valuable.


07
Apr 14

The Power of Perspective

This Saturday I spent my day in Gettysburg with about 10 other classmates studying the role of leadership in the Battle of Gettysburg and extrapolating life lessons from the strategy of War. One of this lessons fell within the realm of the power of perspective. Having a different vantage point can save you, and quite literally in the battle of Gettysburg perspective can the Union the advantage.

While we were walking on the battle fields our tour guide pointed up to “Little Round Top” and I thought basically just that, “It looks pretty little. The north got the advantage from there?”. I did not fully comprehend how a hill would have altered a war. However, when we eventually got to the top, I understood. unnamed

You could see the entire battle field. While this is relatively obvious physical shift in perspective, it sent me a powerful message to question my intuition and challenge myself to find new view points. Not only can new perspective give you an advantage over a challenge, but it can also help you become a more adaptable and relatable being.

Linked with perspective is vision. Throughout the day we discussed the power a vision can have over any team or coordinate of people. It is imperative as a leader to not only maintain one’s ability to view the larger picture but also to remind the people around him or her to also see that dream. People lose motivation if they forget what they are working towards. I imagine this is particularly pertinent in times of war, but for any mission, the people involved sometimes need a shift in perspective from the tiny details into the larger scheme.

In the last month of writing our policy papers, this lesson is incredibly pressing. I will admit that reading source after source and the endless excel sheets can be draining. It is possible to get lost and frustrated. However when I think about the potential of overturning a swayed system and creating an environment of equal opportunity within primary education, I get re-inspired. I truly believe this policy will have sound suggestions and evidence to make an impact on the policy makers and knowing that keeps me grounded to keep working hard with my team.


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