From the title of this week’s post, you may be expecting a long, drawn-out story which far exceeds the minimum word count. Don’t worry, this post is no longer than any other and should only take a couple of minutes to read. “A Meaty Post” actually refers to exactly what it sounds like…meat. As I’m walking out of my 8 AM class this morning, I’m stopped by a girl right in front of the Forum Building. At this point in the school year, I’m kind of used to getting stopped to receive a flyer or hear about some organization that I probably won’t join. On this morning however, I was given a generic brand slim jim. Overlooking the fact that it was 8 o’clock in the morning and couldn’t actually have stomached a slim jim, I threw it out. After that, I went on my way.
Flash-forward to the afternoon, I’m back near the Forum. Once again, there are people handing out big slim jims, small slim jims, and cheese sticks. The advocates are also accompanied by a large, over-enthusiastic mascot. At this point, I try to do what every college student does when they don’t want to be bothered: put the headphones in and blankly stare into the distance. I was just about home free when one of the advocates stopped me and asked me if I’d like another slim jim. After politely saying no, the advocate called over the mascot to personally give me a slim jim. The mascot came running over, gave me a handful of mini slim jims, and gave me a high five (which turned into an awkward half hug). Great, exactly what I was trying to avoid. As if the scene wasn’t uncomfortable enough, I’m now walking back to my dorm with a bunch of slim jims. Instead of throwing them out again, I thought that’d I’d give them to the guys on my floor. You know, spread the wealth.
I get back to my room, open up the refrigerator, and put my stack inside. After putting most of my slim jims in the refrigerator, I walk down the hall to my friend’s room. “Do you want a slim jim or cheese stick,” I ask, “I’ve got like a million in my room.” My friend laughs, opens up his refrigerator and he has a stack bigger than mine. He immediately responds, “They got me too.”
Next time that I’m walking down the HUB stairs, I’ll gladly take a flyer from one of the kids standing at the bottom. It’s better than a stack of slim jims.
I was lucky enough to stumble across this display without actually coming in contact with the promoters. But I did manage to catch a glimpse of some of the signs they had up. As far as I could tell, this was a student group of Agriculture students. I believe that the “slim jims” they were handing out were of local beef, and the cheese sticks of local dairy. I believe their goal was to spread awareness of natural foods and other food issues. Evidently, they did not achieve their goal, and merely bothered people with Slim Jims.
This post actually made me laugh out loud a little. I hope you enjoyed your Slim Jims (or continue to enjoy them if you have too many to have already finished eating them all). Luckily, my schedule yesterday did not take me near Forum, but I did hear about the Slim Jim fiasco and I think that it’s hilarious. Why were these people handing out Slim Jims? Of all things to promote… Slim Jims, really? I also think that I heard that somewhere on campus there was a person dressed in a hamburger patty costume handing out hamburger patties… I’m not sure if this one is true but if it is, I’m definitely mad that I missed that one. I just want to see a guy dressed in a giant hamburger costume!