As an adult learner, I have my own anxieties of competing against younger students with a fresh view on the world compared to my struggles. Women’s studies are a passion of mine because women do take on different roles in our society than men. My friends and family instantly think of feminism as a woman who hates men and runs around burning their bras, but that’s not who I am. I do consider myself to be a feminist but it isn’t one of hate but self-awareness. I feel the only way to change people’s perceptions is through education. The thought that some woman want to be equal as men is not always a realistic point of view. I personally want to be treated fairly and still allowed to be a mother and respected for my work. Men and woman have different worldly experiences that influence how we see the world around us and how others view us.
My husband and I decided that it would be best for me to stay home with the kids since he made more money than me and it was cheaper than paying for daycare. I worked only on a part-time basis and flexed my work time to fit around my husband’s work and the children’s activities. Men are given a pass to the childcare duties because societal views on male care givers has pegged them to be feminine or perverted, leaving woman to take on the stereo type for women to be the primary care giver (Willett, 2011).
In turn, women are left to feel the pressures of that primary duty, which leads them to flex their schedules (Craig, 2006). Never realizing the impact that my inconsistent work schedule would have on future jobs, I was left dumbfounded when employers would questioned my employment choices. Policies have been passed in the workforce to help working mothers return to work through maternity leaves, but many women are still dependent on the traditional “bread winner” to help sustain their financial needs during a maternity leave (Campo, 2009). The maternity leave was meant to keep skilled women employees in their positions after their time off but in turn, yet they are still penalized for these breaks (Campo, 2009).
I have learned to tailor my resume so it does not highlight those lapses and I never mention my family in interviews. In the past when employers mentioned family, I would talk freely about them and my need for work but having five children would clearly make them mark me off the list of employable. I could see it in their faces. What they didn’t realize is that being a mother doesn’t make me a liability to the workforce but an asset. I am a very organized person who rarely takes time off from work and having five kids is what keeps me at work…I need the money. I became the divorced mother living below poverty without child support from my ex-husband. I was working four jobs (union painter Monday-Friday which gave benefits but paid mostly for daycare, hotel maid Saturday-Sunday, babysitting at night, and newspaper delivery in the mornings). I took whatever low lying job that I could get.
Even today, I work thirty hours a week as a “full” time employee for Penn State’s University Library, juggling twelve credits of school, running kids around, and working as a professional photographer on the weekends. Flexing my hours for school or my children is not always acceptable at my job and I am pushed to choose. My fear of penalties and missed opportunities leads me to accept whatever job I can get that works well with my family’s schedule. Women are often left to take on jobs which leave them in poverty and without benefits (Valentova, 2011). I am getting an education in hopes that it can level the playing field in the work force. I hadn’t realized how this has affected so many other working mothers. I am not alone in this fight for a workplace that is flexible enough for a family without penalties and setbacks. I am lucky to have a supportive husband who helps me with the family responsibilities. The only want to overcome these obstacles for women is to create policies that can help ease the childcare burden. Women cannot change the penalties placed on them without the help of the government and employers (Helburn, 2002). Childcare policies need to be influenced from the top of our government down (De Henau, 2010). Women are left as the main responsible care givers for their children and the responsibility falls on their shoulders (De Henau, 2010). Better childcare leads women to work better in the labor force and helps greatly with their financial situations (De Henau, 2010).
I found this video where Barbara Hanna Grufferman, a columnist for Huffington Post columnist and author of “The Best of Everything after 50.” She gives tips for how women can re-enter the workforce and avoiding the mommy track. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qThXyl7Mbu0
References
Campo, N. (2011) “Feminism Failed Me: Childcare, Maternity Leave and the Denigration of Motherhood.” Australian Feminist Studies 24.61: 325-342. Women’s Studies International. EBSCO.
Craig, L. (2006) “Children and the revolution: A time-diary analysis of the impact of motherhood on daily workload.” Journal of Sociology 42.2: 125-143. Women’s Studies International. EBSCO.
Craig, L. (2006) “Does Father Care Mean Fathers Share? A Comparison of How Mothers and Fathers in Intact Families Spend Time with Children.” Gender & Society 20.2: 259-281. Women’s Studies International. EBSCO.
De Henau, J., Meulders, D., and O’Dorchai, S. (2010) “Maybe Baby: Comparing Partnered Women’s Employment and Child Policies in the EU-15.” Feminist Economics 16.1: 43-77. Women’s Studies International. EBSCO.
Helburn, S., Bergmann, B. (2002) America’s child care problem: The way out. Women’s Studies International. EBSCO.
Valentova, M. Zhelyazkova, N. (2011) “Women’s Perceptions of Consequences of Career Interruptions due to Childcare in Central and Eastern Europe.” Journal of Social Policy 40.1: 89-112. Women’s Studies International. EBSCO.
Willett, Julie. (2008) “A Father’s Touch:” Negotiating Masculinity and Sexual Subjectivity in Child Care.” Sexuality & Culture 12.4: 275-290. Women’s Studies International. EBSCO.