Well, I’m in a mood. Last week I responded to a person who holds a position similar to the one I held in my former job. The common theme was our dedication to supporting the rights of individuals with developmental disabilities. In my response, I predicted a battle with my former employer. Sadly, I wasn’t wrong.
I was supposed to take my friend George (a 50 year old gentleman with developmental disabilities) to an amusement park last Saturday. We planned it three weeks in advance, and I advised the agency responsible for his care immediately. I asked them to respond if there were any issues, and I heard nothing. Last Wednesday, I sent an email to confirm the plans. Their response was that George wanted his entire household to go along. Cut me a break. If you ask George who he wants to go on the outing, we best be picking up Batman, Superman, and Stan Lee along the way.
Power and control, the root of all evil. This is not okay. So, I had to take a firm stand. I told the person responsible for George that I would not be meeting the entire household (three residents and three paid staff) at the gate of the amusement park. The plans were for George and me to spend the day together. Another woman that lives in his group home is also a long-term friend of mine. She would want an equal share of my attention. I visit her on a regular basis, and it was not her turn this time.
My heart is broken. But, I have to walk away – for now. It is not healthy for George or me to play this silly game. I am so mad!
Legitimate power is bull-shit. My dispute with my former employer has nothing to do with my relationship with George. He does not deserve to be their pawn. I don’t know where to go from here. I am so mad!
So, here’s the deal. According to our lesson, people who have a high need for personalized power are selfish and concerned only about their own needs. The needs of my former employer are to exert power over me. They know that I love George with all of my heart, and they are willing to manipulate this Achilles heel to their own advantage. I am so mad!
You are not the boss of me! I will never stop fighting for George. To be continued …. I am so mad!
UPDATE: July 23, 2014
I originally wrote the blog above on July 16, 2014 in conjunction with the power and influence lesson. I didn’t post it because I wasn’t sure that my hostility was entirely appropriate. I forgot about it until today.
Last week I was frustrated and defeated. But, sometimes God puts you in the right place at the right time. I had to stop at Barnes and Nobles to review materials for another assignment on Sunday. While checking out, I saw a notice for “Batman Day.” There is an adult costume contest as well as an adult trivia contest. Nothing could be more up George’s alley!
Typically, I am very respectful in clearing plans with George through the person who supervises his group home. I don’t have to do that, it’s simply common courtesy. As described above, that courtesy has not been returned. Batman Day is tomorrow. I plan to show up at George’s house about an hour before the event and ask him if he would like to go. Duh! This will throw his support staff into a panic and I regret putting them in this position. But, a “surprise attack” seems to be the only option I have at this point.
I do not plan to wait around while they call their boss for instructions. By regulation, George has the right to associate with individuals of his choice. I will collect him and tell the poor staff to do what they need to do. All hell will probably break loose, but that’s nothing new in my relationship with my former employer. My loyalty is to George, not them. I am not giving up on him. Oh, what a childish web we weave – sigh!
So, I am still so mad. But, they are still not the boss of me – or George!