Longer than I can remember I’ve always wanted to learn what makes me tick, what causes me to have the reactions that I have, the strong emotions that I have and then the quietness that just makes me want to be alone, even though I love social interactions and being among people. I firmly believe that the Psychodynamic Approach has helped pinpoint some of my quirks and led me to a deeper understanding of myself.
If someone would have asked me last week on the street if I was an extravert or an introvert, I would have without a doubt said 100% extravert because that is who I thought I was and that is who I most often tend to portray. Ask me that question now and I will tell you that I’m a mix of both. Extravert may be the stronger part of my personality but I have a good dose of introversion mixed in as well. While I may love social interactions, I can only handle so much, before I’m mentally exhausted and need to leave. This is a key component of being an introvert according to Northouse: “Constant exposure to people and activities can be draining.” (Northouse 2013) I also love to listen to people and then help them with whatever they may need. I understand now that my family of origin (WC 2014) has helped to create and foster the extraversion side of myself, while teaching me to push the introverted part inward in order to be seen and heard. Family events are typically very loud, and boisterous with everyone talking and inserting their opinions into every conversation happening around them. In my family if you are quiet then you tend to disappear into the wood work and are virtually ignored. No child growing up wishes to be ignored and will quickly learn how they need to be in order to be noticed.
The Psychodynamic Approach has also taught me that I’m a mix of feeling and thinking depending upon the situation at hand. I tend to be more emphatic on a daily basis, feeding off of my emotions, letting my subconscious reactions guide me and my tendency to be indecisive about decisions that effect more people than just myself. This is my feeling side according to the text (Northouse 2013) On the flip side is the thinking ability that I have adopted from my husband. He is a the logical, problem solver that at times can be demanding and insensitive. All traits described in Table 13.2 in Northouse (Northouse 2013) I have learned to not let my first emotional reaction to a situation be the final decision/opinion, instead I can use logic and rational thought to decide what the best course of action would be.
I wouldn’t have comprehended that my thoughts, reactions and emotions would be as complicated as they are. If it wasn’t for the Psychodynamic Approach I wouldn’t have acknowledged parts of myself that I have kept tucked away. I leave this lesson and chapter with a much deeper understanding of myself that I can only hope will grow from here as I discover even more.
References
Salena Marie Ruth says
Thank you all! This chapter just sort of touched me when it came to wanting to know more about myself. I am so happy that you all can relate. It isn’t easy being a mix of both, it can be confusing, tiring and make it hard to relate to people on a continuous basis.
I also understand being intimidated by a blog with so many references, it can be confusing to follow and even harder to relate too, so I’m especially glad that this personal post helped both of you.
Jason William Woodring says
We must be from the same family, the writer, the replier and myself! I know that ever since I was a young child, I was curious to know more about why I am the way I am. I pretty much knew I was shy, a procrastinator, a dreamer, an introvert,yet extrovert at times, an athlete, a thinker, scared, unsociable, etc. I even looked into the Astrological reasons. I am a Cancer, who was born in the early morning, what was the moon doing that day and the like. I asked many questions, mainly because I felt not good enough, didn’t want to come across as uneducated, incapable, etc.
I have even come to terms with my “faults” and decided that knowing my virtues are just as important to know. I used to be a “negative” angry person until I took time to think about this more in depth while hiking the Appalachian Trail in 2011. I decided that I am not perfect and competing with the Jones was not what I wanted to do anymore. The only way I was going to make my weaknesses less weak, I was going to have to be honest with myself and plan the corrective action.
I also know from my thoughts on the AT that my childhood had much to do with who I am as much as when I was born. So was my immediate family, they too were loud family times and I needed to get away to be in my own world after about four hours. I felt that my family had a Law of Diminishing Returns after 4 hours.
However, I am still a procrastinator, still a lover, a thinker (even more of an over analyzer), an environmentalist, still shy, yet sociable. I am still a typical Cancer according to the Astrological web sites. It still takes me two hours to finish an hours worth of homework because I am still learning how to prioritize and not let outside factors effect my goal attainment skills.
So, guess what. I am glad I know more about myself and know why, knowing is half the battle and believe it or not, it used to take me three hours for an hours worth of homework, so I must be getting better.
Thank you for writing about something personal. While these blogs are great to learn from, I feel a bit intimidated with the blogs that have more than one reference. I understand the lessons and book are important to learning, but for me, it seems I learn better on the personal level from which you wrote your blog.
Monica Carol Hapsmith says
I really enjoyed reading your post because I can relate to it so well. There are times when I love social interaction and just want to be around everybody. There are also days where I just want to be left alone to watch a movie or read a book. Reading about the psychodynamic approach allowed me to realize why these behaviors exist. I would say that I am more of an introverted person. I tend to come off as quiet and shy until I really get to know somebody. I have been told, at work, that this could be seen as a weakness. I was kind of taken aback by that comment and I am trying to work on it. But, after reading the lesson, I do not think there is much I can really do to change this personality characteristic. I have been that way my entire life and I do not think that is something you can truely change.
My family, like yours, is always loud. Everybody tries to talk over the next person. I live being around them and I love the interactions, but at times it could be a bit much. I would often just retreat to my room even for a few minutes. I just need the peace every now and then.
This lesson made me realize that being this way is not a weakness, but just a personality characteristic that I can be happy about having. My family helped to shape me into the person I am and I am proud of that.