Interestingly enough, becoming parents has brought on a whole new meaning to life and how my husband and I must use certain tools and skills in a variety of different situations in order to convince these tiny humans to accomplish a goal or complete a task. By learning our lesson this week, it has given me new insight into this process along with further knowledge on the types of tactics we employ, which are called influence tactics. “Influence tactics refer to one person’s actual behaviors designed to change another person’s, attitudes, values, beliefs, or behaviors,” (Pennsylvania State University, 2016). Anyone who has worked with children, in any capacity, can understand the great effort that it takes to convince Tommy, who is four, to share with Johnny, who is six. But how do you convince him to share? What do you do? Through these efforts the tides of power may also change and you will need to employ new tactics to shift them back into your favor. “…we should remember that followers can also wield power and influence over leaders,” (Hughes, Richard, et al., 1993, pg. 108). After all, children do dictate in some ways how events in our life occur. For instance, how they behave in a certain situation can either change our mood for the better or the worse while determining what happens next. Great, isn’t it?
“The particular tactic used in a leadership situation is probably a function of the power possessed by both parties,” (Hughes, Richard, et al., 1993, pg. 108). As a parent, you try to stay calm and collected and allow the child to make the choice on their own with very little outside help. More than likely, you will not be able to use Rational Persuasion because this is something most children of this age have a hard time understanding. However, you can always try it. You could simply state that Johnny is sad that he cannot play with you, Tommy and it would make him happy if you would share your truck with him. To an adult, this would seem logical, but, to Tommy it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t want to share and he is only worried that he feels happy playing with the truck on his own. You may even try to make a Personal Appeal by asking Tommy to share with Johnny because it would make you, the adult, happy. Again, Tommy may not want to because he is happy and that’s what matters to him. Or try a Coalition Tactic by asking Tommy’s grandmother to become involved and she asks Tommy to share showing additional support for the intended result and accomplishment of the task. Yet, this still does not have any effect on Tommy.
As you can see from the three previous tactics, the status of power is slowly shifting from the parent to Tommy as he has not been persuaded in any attempt so far. Next, you may continue trying to convince Tommy by getting him excited about the idea of sharing and stating how much fun it will be to play with Johnny through an Inspirational Appeal. Maybe, putting Tommy in a good mood by playing a game that he likes with the truck will encourage him to share, which is called Ingratiation. Perhaps, using Consultation by asking Tommy to think of a game to play with Johnny and share the truck will help, where he is more involved in the orchestration of the activities. Or use Exchange as a tactic by stating if he shares his truck with Johnny, then Johnny will share his tractor with you, Tommy. At times, this may achieve the desired result but in this case let’s think that Tommy just wants his truck and not the tractor.
Now, the power has shifted in favor of the follower and not the intended leader and the answer to regaining control is using more authoritative tactics. You may say more sternly that you are asking Tommy to share his truck with Johnny to be nice using the Legitimizing Tactic because you are the parent and Tommy is the child and he should do as you ask. If Tommy is just not swayed by the idea, you will use your last ditch effort by using the Pressure Tactic, threatening that Tommy will have his truck taken away and you will both leave if he will not share his truck with Johnny. “People usually use legitimizing or pressure tactics when an influencer has the upper hand, when resistance is anticipated,” (Pennsylvania State University, 2016). Now one of two things will happen, Tommy will either give in and share with Johnny and you have now regained power or Tommy will still refuse and both you and Tommy have an equal amount of power. This would result in a stalemate because Tommy is still not sharing his tractor but he is losing the privilege of having his tractor and has to leave.
In conclusion, you can see that as a parent and leader in this situation, you have to employ different tactics as a result of the behavior exhibited by Tommy, the follower. “One’s influence tactic of choice depends on many factors such as intended outcomes and one’s power relative to the target person,” (Pennsylvania State University, 2016). Just as parenting or working with children does not come with a manual because there are too many factors involved to determine set actions to take in given circumstances, neither does the application of which influence tactic to use in certain situations.
References:
Pennsylvania State University. PSYCH 485 – Leadership in work. Lesson 7: Power and Influence. https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1803831/modules/items/21139880. 2016.
Hughes, Richard, et al. Power and Influence. Leadership: Enhancing the Lessons of Experience. Homewood, IIL. Irwin. 1993.
nxs5194 says
I am not a parent, but I appreciated this post. I see day after day how parents try to figure out the best manner to “deal” with their children. While we all see that there are some children that are just naturally better-behaved for whatever reason, there are always the children that need the additional love, support and guidance in order to keep them moving in a positive direction. You spoke of influence tactics, “Influence tactics refer to one person’s actual behaviors designed to change another person’s, attitudes, values, beliefs, or behaviors,” (PSU WC, 2016). In addition the tactics, however, I thought about how I wanted to apply powerful body language and communication to your thoughts.
Children are also people. If we spoke to them on the same level that we did adults, meaning, “Hey Johnny, do you know how the spilled kool-aid got on the rug?” vs “Johnny – why did you spill your kool-aid on the rug?” This allows us to gather the information that we already know, yet, gives the child the opportunity to communicate with us and trust that we will handle in an appropriate manner. I apologize if my non-parenting feedback is offensive to anyone…
You did a great job expressing the tactics on how you can get Tommy and Johnny to share. In regards to body language now – there are two types of body language that allows an individual to portray their power. While your words are important, does your body “tone” match? It is important to make sure that children realize that you hold the power of whatever situation is at hand, but you may do so with a little less “I am the boss” response. Even with children, I believe these same behaviors would work nothing that speaking in clear, complete sentences directly to the child, holding eye contact and delivering a body language that matches the seriousness of the situation. The manner in which we speak to others (adults or children) is utilized in how they perceive and take away as an impression.
I really appreciate how you utilized our lesson and applied it to a common life example. While I am not a parent, I always appreciate watching and listening to how others interact as it is important information to take away for my own future situations.
Works Cited:
Gruenfeld, Deborah, H. Lean In. Power & Influence: There is a body language of power. Retrieved from http://leanin.org/education/power-influence/ on October 9, 2016.
Northouse, Peter G. Leadership: Theory and Practice – 7th edition. SAGE Publications. 2016.
Pennsylvania State University. PSYCH 485 – Leadership.https://psu.instructure.com/courses/1803831/modules 2016.
Robert J Holzer says
Hello Brandy,
I can definitely relate to your blog as I have a 3-½ year old boy who forces me to experiment with new influence tactics to get him to behave and cooperate with me. Like much of your blog was about, it is not easy to influence young children. Sometimes it is a battle just to get my son dressed to go out for the day because he would rather stay in his pajamas and play with his trains. I like how you touched on the different influence tactics and related them to the situation with Tommy and Johnny. This really painted a clear picture of the influence tactics at work with the little ones. Your right that children at that age can not rationalize like we can, so it is rather difficult for us to use rational persuasion. In fact, sometimes the only tactic that will work with my son is the exchange tactic where I have to give him something or tell him that I will do something to get him to cooperate. I know, I know, who is the boss? I often ask myself that question.
Even though I have legitimate, expert, and referent power over my son, I often find myself using reward power to influence him to cooperate. Unfortunately, this leads to me buying him gifts or treats. I am currently spending more money than I would like to be spending on rewards for my son as my wife and I are trying to potty train him. According to our lesson commentary, reward power “involves the potential to influence others due to one’s control over desired resources” (PSU WC, 2016, p.4). In my particular case, I can controlling the toys and treats that my son values. Besides using reward power on a daily basis, my wife and I use coercive power with him. We use this form of power to get him behave when he is playing with other children and also if he is doing something inappropriately. For example, if he throwing his ball in the living room, we will take the ball from him if he doesn’t stop. This form of power punishes him by taking away something that is of value to him in an effort to influence him to follow our rule of not throwing his ball in the living room (PSU WC, 2016). We would also take a toy from him if he is not sharing with other children as a way to coerce him to share his toy.
It is very interesting to me how much more difficult it is for me to manage my 3-½ year old son than it is to manage grown adults. But, this is mostly due to the fact that young children cannot rationalize like adults, like you said in your blog. My son does not know that I am an expert, so expert power will not work with him. Legitimate power also will not work because he is at an age where he thinks that he is the boss and is testing me every day. This is why my wife and I lean on reward and coercive power to influence our son to change his behavior.
Reference:
Penn State World Campus (2016). PSYCH 485: Leadership in Work Settings. Lesson 7: Power and Influence. Retrieved from: https://courses.worldcampus.psu.edu/canvas/fa16/21681–13148/content/07_lesson/printlesson.html