Do What Makes You YOU

“Can I stay here?”
“You have to finish what you have to do.”

It is about time to say goodbye to my audience. This is the last blog I will post for my experiences in the Temple. There is a lot more I want to say and explain to the dear audience, but there is nothing that runs forever. In this blog, I want to draw our attention back to my daily life in college. I want to show how my life is different with Buddhism teachings.
The most popular thing in college besides tons of paper is the party. Penn State is also known for its wildness and numerous parties in and out of the campus. Drinking becomes the most common thing. I love to make friends with different groups of people and experiences different things. However, struggles also come to me as should I allow myself to “have fun” like all the others. To be honest, the temptation or even sometimes peer pressure bothers me and lure me. It was two years ago, I took an oath in front of my guru. I promised that I will never kill, steal, have premarital sex, lie, or drink for my life. I didn’t realize at that time how heavy these promises are. I was so confident in myself that I won’t be interested in any of these. My faith and beliefs got shaken as I came across all the allurement.
Sometimes I even question myself, “why I can’t have fun?” However, I never made my attempt at the unknown possibilities. Last week, I went to Washington DC with my boyfriend. He is a totally different person than me. He enjoys drinking and all the things I am afraid trying or even prohibited from trying. I guess this might be the reason that I am in love with him. I eager to know the other side of the world no matter what result might be. It is dangerous, but I took the risk. We always went into deep discussion about how we view the world differently. He acclaims that I should be more open to things and there it is too early to give up what he called “life” or simply happiness. I did consider his suggestion and even questioned my own beliefs. However, I find the truth.
I first realize that there is no distinction between the lifestyles. No one is better than the other. However, we need to choose the one that makes us feel comfortable with. Personally, I’d rather spend a night with a book than going out for a drink. I cherish the values embodied deeply in me and respect what others choose to do. In the same time, I tried to use this struggle to figure out why my guru let me take the oath. Somethings cannot go back once you tried it. It is a protection for my true self. He foresees what could really make me happy and prevent harm from happening. When I saw people get drunk and I realized that I don’t want to lose control of myself. It might sound said that I lost the chance to experience, but there are so many other things waiting to be accomplished. I will never step back on what I believe, and I wish you all to have the ability to say no to what others make you do.
Goodbye and Best Wishes my dear reader.

 

 

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