Unmitigated Pretense (Passion Post 8)

Who are we as people? What is it that defines us?

There are many answers to this question… one’s society, culture, or religion. Trends, personal tastes, opinions of those nearest and dearest to us… innumerable possibilities spring forward, much like a predator leaps on its prey.

I wish to beg one final question. Who would you be if external influences played no part? Who are you, when left alone?

Not when someone small talks you and asks you about yourself.

Not even when you’re with people you’re close with.

Who are you when you’re actually you?

I know that this question feels impossible to answer… but at the same time, taking a step back and really thinking about it could provide a lot of insight into yourself.

I feel as if sometimes we let the effects of our surroundings impart too much of an influence on who we are.

Humankind creates multiple masks and dimensions of ourselves to suit each and every occasion. This is a natural thing to do, as sometimes we can tactfully offend or impress with a few careful edits.

But I’d go so far as to say that we sometimes don’t know how to stop. We tailor our actions, moods, and other aspects of self to fit the “acceptable” mold – even when the changes aren’t necessary at all.

As sad as it is, this is also a natural tendency. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved. It’s a basic human need. And sometimes we just feel like we won’t find our place unless we change ourselves into something we really aren’t – even when we really would, but we’re just too blind to see it.

What are the repercussions of this mass altering? Can we lose sight of who we really are? Could the situation become so toxic that one is struggling desperately to find the mirror – the semblance of what truly is – while drowning in a sea of masks?

My answer is yes.

Feigning other attributes in any given situation is a dangerous game to play. One runs the risk of falling for the false, edited version of themself… which can only breed future discomfort over who they really are.

All semester, I pushed the issue of being yourself, regardless of circumstance. I tried to express the importance of self-acceptance, against all odds. This particular topic is one of importance because we’re all victims of it to some extent.

We get so caught up in our daily roles and positions of life that, when we finally take a breather and spend a moment alone, we’re uncomfortable with what we find. We don’t like the way we think or feel… we long for the companionship, and perhaps the version of self that comes along with it. We have to be constantly connected to others, and never truly alone.

Not all editing causes negative effects, of course. Sometimes we can make a change for the better by pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones! But I’m not talking about positive changes. I mean the facades, the exerted acts. The things that just don’t and won’t feel natural no matter how many times you do it, yet you do it anyway.

I mean the things we want to be so desperately that we take improper steps to get there, making the situation worse.

If nothing else was gained at all from my posts, I would ask that you remember this: don’t go down the road of pretense. Eventually you’ll find that your pretend role has become second nature… it becomes a never ending loop that you can’t seem to escape. You can’t stand who you really are, because the mask is all you want. And the mask is all that anyone else really knows.

So when you’re left alone, who will you be then?

Do both of us a favor. Be yourself. Love yourself. Don’t let petty standards of life destroy the way that you view you. Because when it all boils down, that’s all that’s really reliable and of any real concern.

Signing off, (lots of love)
-P