My This I Believe Podcast
In elementary and middle school I worried about my grades way too much. I remember studying hours upon hours for each of my tests. I would memorize word for word study guides my teachers used to hand out the week before. Looking back on it, I easily could have passed without looking over any of my worksheets or study guides. I had this idea that each test was extremely important and if I didn’t get an A something terrible would happen. I spent so much time making sure I that I would score extremely well on every test that I never did get to find out what horrors would await me if I was to get a B.
One time, in what I remember to be seventh grade, I was being too distracting during class which caused my teacher to give me a lunch detention. My mind instantly turned to the myth of the ‘permanent record’, which teachers in my district used to scare children into behaving. I imagined going to a job interview after graduating college and having the interviewer ask me to explain why I misbehaved in Ms. Knox’s seventh grade class. I was extremely nervous that future colleges or employers were going to see this blemish on my ‘permanent record’ and never accept me.
When I became a highschooler I began to think less about grades and more about social standing. It’s the ugly truth that high school culture is dominated by cliques. Most kids in highschool are primarily concerned with who is friends with who, who has a crush on who, who is angry at who, and who is cool and who isn’t. It’s easy to get caught up in these details when it’s all you’re surrounded by every day and I don’t think anyone has gone through high school unaffected. High School is a difficult time in many people’s lives, but it really shouldn’t have to be.
Looking back at my life before college I have come to realize that I shouldn’t have worried myself so much about the things in life that weren’t truly important. No bad grade grade I’ve ever gotten or opinion one of my peers has had of me will ever impact my life. Also, I am now sure the ‘permanent record’ as my teachers described it is a complete lie. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there is truth to the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” However, I believe in the revised version of that same saying, which goes, “Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.”
I like this a lot. I feel as if most students can relate to exactly what you are saying. When I was younger, I cared so much about my grades. As high school approached, I began to focus more on my social life than my school work. I still got really good grades, I just realized I didn’t have to study as much as I used to when I was in middle school. I tried to hard, and it would stress me out. I guess that’s a stage that everyone has in their lifetime.
I remember I always heard about “permanent records” on TV shows I watched as a kid and was also nervous about ever doing anything bad. I’m with you there with always trying to do great on things. In high school I would go back and forth between wanting to try on APs and not, but I would guilt myself into studying. It’s pretty true that it is all small stuff, minus a few very momentous occasions in life.
I think just about every kid in college has obsessed over doing everything perfect at some point in his/her life, hoping to get into college and to live out these illusions of the American Dream…but as you inch closer to it, you realize that through perfection and obsession, you’re not doing anything but stressing yourself out. BTW, I loved the revised version of the quote at the end, lol. I think it describes life after high school perfectly.