What actually makes us happy

Most people in this world are searching for happiness. It’s what we’ve been told to achieve ever since we were born. Everyone wants to be happy. But this concept of “happy” can get lost in interpretation. What really makes a person happy? Is it this typical image of successful, wealthy and good-looking? Or is there more to it than that? Can we buy happiness or does it come from within?

While what truly makes a person happy varies with the individual, researchers have found that experiences make people happier almost all the time in comparison to possessions. This is for a variety of reasons

The main reason experiences make people happier than material things is because the happiness from an experience lasts longer. You’ll never forget that amazing time you and your friends stayed up until 3 am talking and eating pizza, but you’ll quickly become tired of that trendy sweater. The initial bliss that comes with that most recent purchase is more likely to fade than a memory. A study done by Ryan Howell, a professor of psychology at San Francisco State University, questioned 154 students about a purchase they made within the past 3 months. The purchase could be a possession or an experience. Overwhelmingly, the people that discussed an experiential purchase showed higher rates and longer-lasting rates of contentment. Happiness that derives from an experience will only increase with time while happiness from a possession will flee as material things quickly become obsolete. Also, a lot of happiness in a “thing” comes from anticipation and not the actual thing. Sometimes, the happiness never quite “arrives” where as with an experience, it always does and you can always look back fondly. According to journalist James Hamblin, even if its a bad experience, it might make a funny story!

According to Howell, another reason that experiences generate more sustainable joy than possessions is because they involve other people and human connection is a major root of internal delight. Getting closer with other people has proven to make a person happier. Also, experiences increase a sense of feeling alive and exhilarated. This feeling is never going to come from a new pair of shoes or new phone, but it definitely will from a concert or trip to a different country.

My mom always said that comparison is the root of all unhappiness and all signs point to this being true. Cornell psychology professor Thomas Gilovich’s research suggests that people aren’t as likely to compare the joy of their experiences whereas people tend to compare the value of their possessions often. In one study, psychology professor Daniel Gilbert asked a group of people (the ages and number of participants in unknown- not giving total credibility to this study) if they would rather have a high salary that is lower than their coworkers or a low salary that is higher than that of their coworkers. The answers were pretty much half and half. But when the same participants were asked if they would rather have two vacations weeks while their coworkers only get one, or four vacation weeks while their coworkers get eight, the overwhelming majority of participants chose the latter. This shows that most people don’t feel the need to compete and compare experiences but often people compare possessions.

Happiness varies from person to person but these studies suggest the next time you’re between using that next paycheck to go out with friends or buy that new shirt, go with your friends. You’ll be happier in the long run.

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Sources: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/buy-experiences/381132/

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/10/happiness.possessions/

Photo: Kumar et al, Psychological Science/The Atlantic

5 thoughts on “What actually makes us happy

  1. Julia R Martini

    I wrote a post relating to happiness as well. I think it is so important to be happy because it’s a big element in being healthy. I wrote about happy places while sitting in my favorite place in Penn State. It was a very cool experience so I suggest you and every other college student finds a happy place! They really reduce stress and just promote good feels.
    http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/photos-top-10-happiest-cities/#/happiest-koh-samui_86320_600x450.jpg
    These are the 10 happiest places to visit! It’s a goal of mine to make it to every place.

  2. Audrey Elyse Sakhnovsky

    I’m a psychology minor, so this post definitely grabbed my attention. I was curious what you would choose to focus on, since this idea of finding happiness has so many applicabilities and studies. One of my psych professors said that although there is a course taught at PSU all about the Psychology of Happiness, what most studies and research shows is that happiness is mainly a product of success. What is meant by that is personal success, or simply being as successful in what you want as you want. Obviously I think this is an extremely broad overview of what the course would have to offer, but it is pretty comprehensive since this ‘success’ can be applied to so many aspects of life. In discussing possession vs. experience, I completely understand these findings. Another explanation to this finding to think about would be how human interaction is continuous and dynamic, while items are static and only offer themselves as new or compelling the first time they are encountered.

    1. Molly Samantha Arnay Post author

      I totally agree, I think there are so many more reasons that we feel happier with experiences than possession. i like your thought about how experiences are more dynamic. I also think tend to enjoy experiences more because they are timeless while material things are often only considered “cool” for such short amount of time.

    2. Molly Samantha Arnay Post author

      I totally agree, I think there are so many more reasons that we feel happier with experiences than possessions. i like your thought about how experiences are more dynamic. I also think tend to enjoy experiences more because they are timeless while material things are often only considered “cool” for such short amount of time.

  3. Michael Mandarino

    You did an awesome job with this blog post. Though I’m not pursuing it in any way, psychology/mental health is something I find to be very interesting. Thinking about it I’m not surprised that experiences make people happier than possessions. With very few exceptions, this is the case in my life; I tend to remember and feel happier about times I spent with my friends & family than I do about material possessions I own. Thanks for sharing.

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