This I Believe Rough Draft.

Once upon a time, I was a wide-eyed child with a moldable future and a certain affinity for Disney movies. I spent countless hours with my eyes trained on the TV, sandwiched between my dad and sister on the familiar couch, and feeling their familiar warmth as the familiar arch flew over the Disney castle. I would not close my eyes again until the credits began to roll. I was dedicated to not missing a second of the adventure. I became a part of the movie; an active member in it’s cast, molding myself into a character influenced heavily by whichever character appeared on the screen before me. In my imagination, I developed Ariel determination to achieve her goal, Belle’s ability to ignore the jeers and negative opinions from others, Aurora’s willingness to rely on nothing but a dream to get her through, Jane’s perseverance to achieve the impossible. My mindset was set aflame to do the impossible because I had just witnessed the impossible taking place in an unforgettable ninety-minutes. I believed in the music, the stories, the characters. And I believed I would become like them.

I have not lost my wide-eyes. I spent my winter break watching Brave, the newest addition to Disney’s collection. And I was transported to my childhood, experiencing a great epiphany. I believe in the power of Disney, perhaps now more than ever. As a human, I have the ability to change and create my own future. We can choose our own fate. We have been given the opportunity to decide and take what we want out of life.Those of our race are prone to allow others to sway our decisions. So many inputs go into a choice. What our parents expect of us, what our friends’ opinions are, the benefits of the choice versus the costs. We are creatures easily influenced, impressionable and modifiable. We often forgo our own dreams and take another path based on the judgment of others.

But I believe we have the responsibility to follow our dreams and create an alternate outcome for our lives. We reserve the right to create our individual destiny. No one else can do it for you. The characters of Disney always defy the expectations cornering them and break out to grasp their own destiny. They discover what they want out of their life, and despite the odds, they go after it. And every Disney movie instilled in me a desire to become like them; I believe Merida says it best; “Some say fate is beyond our command, but I know better. Our destiny is within us. You just have to be brave enough to see it.”

4 thoughts on “This I Believe Rough Draft.

  1. Really nicely done. Be careful not to let your exuberance get the best of your writing. This little portion, for example:

    Those of our race are prone to allow others to sway our decisions. So many inputs go into a choice. What our parents expect of us, what our friends’ opinions are, the benefits of the choice versus the costs. We are creatures easily influenced, impressionable and modifiable. We often forgo our own dreams and take another path based on the judgment of others.

    I think this risks being confusing to a listener. Work on greater precision and concision in your writing to more cleanly make and develop your main idea.

    This statement:

    But I believe we have the responsibility to follow our dreams and create an alternate outcome for our lives.

    doesn’t feel strong enough as a belief statement. And when you say “alternate outcome,” i’m not sure it’s getting at exactly what you’re trying to say.

    Overall, I love the pieces. They need to be sewn together more efficiently and powerfully. Another draft….:-)

  2. I like the connection you made here. For me, Disney is just a lovely part of my childhood, but you’ve taken a spin on that and put it into a different light. I loved the introduction, where you were “sandwiched” on the couch! It really gave a great visual and made the script more personal. Good job!

  3. I’m sure Disney is glad to see their films inspiring kids even as they grow into adults! This was a very good post and you were really able to drive home the personal connection to the audience. The only thing that confused me was the sentence, “Those of our race are prone to allow others to sway our decisions.” I’m not entirely sure of what you meant to say there, but other than that small part this should be an inspiring story.

  4. You did a really great job with this. One of the things I like the most is your organization- you move in chronological order from your childhood until today, observing that Disney movies are the one thing that has stayed constant throughout your life. You make great use of examples like Ariel and Belle, giving the reader/listener concrete examples of what the movies have taught you. I also think you make a smooth transition from the lessons of childhood and how they function in your life today.

    Finally, I think the overall quality of your work is great. Your writing is clear and your sentences are good lengths. I really can’t think of anything that needs to be improved!

Leave a Reply