If you have been following the blog for some time now, you know that I like to harp on a few essential points.
1. Genuine Interest is a Must.
2. Do Your Homework or necessary background work to make the conversation interesting.
3. Have Fun
What some of you might not have realized is that these apply to everyday life as well. Every conversation that you have with another human being is a chance to exchange information and learn something about the world. Every conversation is an opportunity for you to be engaged with another and create a unique connection between you. Make these worth it!
Genuine Intrest
This is the simplest and easiest aspect of yourself to improve that will advance your conversation in everyday life. Say you just met your uncle for dinner. It turns out he is a photosynthetic plankton genome specialist. His exploits do not interest you in the slightest. While It definitely may be hard for you to just “become interested” in different topics like “photosynthentic plankton genomes,” it’s vital that you at least try so that the other person can recognize you are putting effort into the conversation. Then even if that fails you can then try to change the subject to something else you both enjoy.
Do Your Homework
Every time you interview someone about a book or article they have written make sure you read it and understand it. If you do, they will be far more impressed with you and willing to open up a wealth of information for your use. For example, I have a family friend that wrote a book on architecture. I asked for a copy and read the book. The author’s kids haven’t read the book, but I have. This gives me both starting points for conversation and a connection with the author. Think about how awkward your parents are when they try to talk about or pass judgment on behavior, or activity they don’t even fully understand.
“Son, I don’t like this global warming and these video games.” your father would say.
“But have you done any research on or even given any an honest try?” you might ask.
“No. And I don’t want to.” comes your father’s final reply.
Try to remember never to be awkward like your parents. Make sure before starting an in-depth conversation about something with anybody that you have done your homework on a topic at least slightly, make it apparent that you know nothing so that the person you are conversing with knows what to expect, or change the subject entirely.
Have Fun
The simplest and most straightforward of the three, but also the hardest to master and pull off consistently. To be genuinely having fun in every conversation is impossible but at the very least an attempt can be made. Your aunt Barb may seem very dry and uninteresting to speak to, but if you open up and start having fun she may do the same. Then everyone is happy.
Hopefully but taking the steps, I had mentioned before and elaborated on here to heart you will start to have not only more informative interviews in your professional careers but more pleasant conversations in your social lives too.
Catch you on the flip side.
-The Author
This is my first time reading your blog but I must say that I really enjoyed it! I think that these are simple but great pieces of advice because I feel that so many people are intimidated by having real conversations. But you made an excellent point; if people know you have an interest in something, they will probably feel inclined to talk to you about it so make sure that you are aware of what is going on and be prepared to have a conversation with someone about it. This could lead to finding a friend with similar interests or having a companion to debate about a specific topic back and forth. Thanks for sharing!
What makes this great advice is that it goes far beyond just simply having conversations, but can be applied to work, school and hobbies. We need genuine interest in what we do for the final product, itself, to be interesting. Whenever I am doing a project for school that I do not care about whatsoever; the result is a very boring paper or presentation. I just focus on getting the job done. So making sure I choose a topic or angle on a issue that I actually enjoy is essential to performing well.
As odd as it may sound for a freshman in college (or anyone at all), I absolutely love interviews. Aside from the pressure of answering questions “correctly” or trying to sound perfect and impressive, I simply just love the nature of interviews. I enjoy the flow of the conversations. Interviewers ask one question, we get to answer, and then they can take our answer in a different direction to ask us more. And even though it’s in such a formal setting, the basic flow of a conversation comes so naturally in an interview, but not so often in our day to day conversations. I loved the points you made about how interviews can so easily be translated into our everyday life and I completely agree. Thanks for sharing!
This is very sound advice. I have taken a somewhat similar approach in my life, as when I’m speaking with an adult and though I may not care or understand what they’re discussing, making a genuine effort to listen and be interested can go a long way towards making the other person open up. If you talk to someone about their passion and seem interested and it is the best way to get them to open up. Great post!