Introduction:
-Children need to be protected at all costs. For the past decade, this country has seen a decline in the arrest and incarceration of children under the age of 18. However, America’s youth continue to be criminalized at alarming rates and disparities have persisted. On any given day, nearly 60,000 youth under age 18 are incarcerated in juvenile jails and prisons in the United States. The issues surrounding the children’s juvenile system are indeed urgent, and by us understanding the root of the problem we can find a solution on how to keep more kids from being incarcerated. While also finding better alternatives punishments for kids who get in trouble with the law. By providing these children with the necessary resources and schooling, this will could help to change the whole trajectory of their life.
1). History of Juvenile Justice System
2). Causes:
- Poverty, community, class, family background are significant factors that all contribute to child incarceration.
- history of child abuse or foster home placements
- Being Born/ raised in a socially disadvantaged community
3). Statistics:
- Nearly 50,000 youth are confined today
- In 2019 alone over 696,620 children (about half the population of Hawaii) were arrested in the United States alone
- Black girls are 2.7 times more likely than white girls to be referred to juvenile justice
- Black girls comprise 35% of the population of girls who are locked up, Latina girls account for 19%
- Black and Hispanic youth were significantly more likely than their white counterparts to be sentenced to serve time in an adult jail when transferred to adult court.
4). Last Paragraphs: Solutions/ Alternatives :
- Comprehensive community-based services and support
- planned and thoughtful programs,
- strong collaboration,
- sustainable funding / Reallocating Funds
- Offering rehabilitation to inmates
- Instituting Educational Programs in Low-income communities
1. Does the structure match the direction of the thesis. Are there gaps or missing parts? Is there a better order for this information?
I think the layout makes sense. I like that you introduce the topic and then go into the history to provide context.
2. Do the topic sentences point back to the thesis and/or make the argumentative claim for the paragraph?
With this being a rough draft, there are not topic sentences currently.
3. Move, change. add, delete?
Beyond adding in the history of the juvenile justice system, which I am already certain you plan on doing, I cannot think of anything to add. Everything seems relevant, so deleting feels unnecessary.
4. Ideas for infographs.
I feel like any graphic using the statistics you’ve pulled would be great. I think a graphic with the 696,620 children, in comparison to al the children in the population, would be impactful.
1 Does the structure match the direction of the thesis. Are there gaps or missing parts? Is there a better order for this information?
I think you’re onto a good start but there are some modifications you should consider. I don’t think that you should have a whole paragraph directed towards statistics. I think they are something you can filter into your other paragraphs to back up your claims. This will strengthen the paper overall.
2. Do the topic sentences point back to the thesis and/or make the argumentative claim for the paragraph?
Your thesis is very broad. I would try to narrow it down by choosing a solution you’re trying to propose and turning it into a convincing thesis. This will give you room to present the research you have done.
3. Move, change. add, delete?
Change the statistics thing.
4. Ideas for infographs.
Maybe include some graphs about the facts you gave.