Mecca Castillo

University of Pennsylvania Socicologists Kennan Cepa and Frank F. Furstenburg have published an article that concludes the beliefs of age-graded milestones such as getting married, moving out, and having children, etc. has changed minimally over the years. However, as the cost of living has increased, more and more young people are finding accomplishing these milestones “on track” increasingly difficult. For many college students, this balancing act makes it harder to transition to adulthood and even raises anxiety as the pressure kicks in.

Edna Cassell, a senior and peer mentor at Penn State, states “It’s terrifying. There is so much lack of preparation. I [didn’t] get real world knowledge just book smarts. I knew to an extent what I was doing, but once I got to a certain point I was like ‘oh no, I was not prepared for anything.’ I also feel like there’s this pressure to know without asking, [but] if I don’t know I get infantilized.”  

According to PEW Research Center, more people are seeking education, experimenting with part-time job opportunities, holding off on becoming homeowners, and focusing on individualization. In doing so, young people are redefining age-graded milestones otherwise known as the social clock, but many people still value milestones being accomplished before you reach a certain age.

Another student, Alejandro (Ally) Garcia-Alonso, feels “There is an anxiety to do things on time. When I was a freshman, I hadn’t gotten a girlfriend yet and I [was] unemployed. Like of course I wouldn’t be [emplyed], I had just moved here.”  

The pressure does not just come from past generations’ formation of the social clock. Social media encourages young people to look inside influencers, family, and peers’ lives as they post. This leads to some people comparing their lives to others who may ‘look more established,’ (MillennialTherapy). 

Maryam Castillo, a 23-year-old graduate from UArts says, “I went to an arts school [and] I haven’t been in an audition or [art] space since graduation. Seeing my fellow peers going through those things and being in shows I think to myself ‘I should be doing that’ but I have to work [retail] and pay rent…I feel pretty unaccomplished compared to what I see my peers doing.”

Comparing the cost of living between 1970, accounting for inflation, is significantly more than recent years while the average minimum wage remained the same. The median cost of a home has risen from $189,000 to $440,300. Similarly, the median price of a car rose $22,100, and the cost of tuition more than doubled, says Marketplace. Younger people are resorting to staying at home, giving up vacations, and getting a car as a later investment. 52% of young adults are still living with their parents and less than half of young adults aged 18-29 are financially independent, (PEW). 

What these young people have in common is the shared anxiety surrounding being an adult. The consensus among those interviewed is the desire to push milestones and make room for personal development. In recent years, adulthood has been redefined. “[Adulthood] is gradually acquiring a sense of oneself so you can begin to adapt commitments. A person ready to take on more and more responsibilities. Partnering with another adult that is different to relationships that you’ve had in the past. It’s not a specific number.” Suggests Dr. Judith Newman, a Developmental Psychologist and Professor at Penn State. 

It’s not too far-fetched to say, life is complicated and different for everyone. Adulthood is about coming of age and is bound to have some level of anxiety. Newman added, “Some levels of anxiety is necessary for change. Some concern in your gut means things need examining. Some sense of anxiety is really the catalyst for change. But we all have to be working together. All generations. A mix of ages is always good for perspective.” 

Students we asked had a variety of responses to these pressures. 

Ally Garcia-Alonso wanted to “progress as quickly as possible so I can wear my adult badge. Now I’ve stopped worrying about it. I turn 21 in a month and I guess I’ll go buy a drink. I don’t see it as a deadline.”

Edna Cassell offered advice: “As a PSU1 mentor, the only thing I gotta say is to make sure you set aside time for yourself cuz if you don’t that anxiety will grow and get to the point where you break down.” 

And Maryam Castillo expressed a kind of indignant disbelief: “Don’t stress about not being on the right path because society keeps pushing you 15 steps behind…Adulthood begins at 20. So in theory, I am a three year old in adult years. How the [heck] am I supposed to accomplish anything? I’m only three!” 

Dr. Newman takes a bit of a longer view: “I think to embrace the possibilities of further development. It’s not once you’re there you’re done. Much change happens in the adult years. But be open to those opportunities. Try one of them out and if things aren’t working adjust your path. There’s this little thread of stability in your young adult years, that you stay you.”