Taylor Tate

It’s hard to put yourself out there and make the first move, here are some ways to explore building connections with that girl in your science class, or that same guy at the gym you just happen to run into three times a week–not on purpose of course.

Forget the the outside factors and set priorities when it comes to finding the one.

In an article titled, How to Make Dating A Priority,  expert Laura Bilotta goes over a easy step by step guide to make your dating life a piece of cake when it comes to putting relationships first. She asserts,

• Set your goals. It’s all in how you look at it.  The dating process can be tiring and dating burnout is common. The strange reality about dating is that most dates are designed to fail – that’s the nature of dating! It’s all about finding the one diamond in the rough.
• Put the effort in. Many men and women believe in the old-fashioned meet-by-fate scenario. However, going by this logic you could be waiting a long time and still never meet anyone as everything requires some effort.  When was the last time your dream job just fell into your lap? Only by putting forth the effort, time and energy will dating work; you have to make dating a priority if you really want to meet someone. Finding love requires both physical effort, clearing time in your schedule to pursue meeting new people and mental effort, changing your attitude so you can approach the process with excitement and dedication.
• Get outside help. Start by seeking out singles organizations that will increase your odds of meeting other singles and make an effort to approach and engage the opposite gender more often. Date coaching, matchmaking + singles events are all great ways to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
• Put the time in. Dedicate at least one evening a week to going on a date.  Stay on track and it will only be a matter of time before you meet someone worth making time for.”

Now is the time to try a new approach, initiate that intimidating first move.

In an article titled, How to Date without an App, by Liesel Sharabi Ph.D. who specializes in Dating in the Digital Age, emphasizes the various ways to meet new people and find ways to interact without social media or digital technology. She writes, “To meet new people, try joining an interest group, playing in a sports league, or taking a foreign language class. You could also check out an event that’s designed specifically for singles, such as speed dating, which academic researchers have been using for some time to facilitate new relationships. If it’s an activity or event you’d be interested in doing anyway, you’re likely to have fun regardless of whether you meet someone—something that can’t always be said about dating apps.”

Another take in the dating world that might find you well comes from Psychology.Today, an article titled, 10 Essential Pieces of Expert Dating Advice, by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Ph.D. The Psychology of Relationships.

Lewandowski gives three key points to help successfully grow in the relationships you are either wanting to establish or have begun seeking. He writes,

KEY POINTS

• The secret to dating is to optimize for kindness over sparks and friendship over instant chemistry.
• Become the version of yourself that you would be excited to date.
• On dating apps, follow two rules: (1) Don’t binge. (2) Think of reasons to say “yes” instead of “no.”

The take away you from this is trying a different approach that you wouldn’t necessarily do the first time around and be the version of you that you aspire to be, the better you. Don’t change yourself for others but enhance your inner-self. And lastly, be open to what you’re seeing or being given when it comes to someone that fancy’s you.

An article titled, Relationship Advice for Singles, by Debra Fileta who is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. Debra dives in about everything you need to know when it comes to dating.

Her first point, “You can’t know what you need in a relationship until you know who you are.” Here she is saying you have to search for your true self before searching for others to fill that role in your life, in other words, to know what you want you have to know yourself first.

Debras second point talks about someone taking interest in you but that doesn’t always mean they are your soulmate. “Just because he (she) pursues you, doesn’t mean he’s (she’s) good for you.”

Fileta then addresses a critical third point in her article about not forcing something that isn’t there.  writing, “Don’t try to force it to work, when it’s obviously not working.” Debra Fileta is saying that nothing will be successful in a relationship if it is forced and not natural for the both of you, if the chemistry isn’t there or reciprocated, its not going to work.

To seal the deal with tips and tricks to help with relationships or “situationships,” this article comes from Tennessee Valley Living titled, How to Navigate a Situationship -Tennessee Valley Living, Dr. Christie Kederian talks about working through “situationships.”

Dr. Kederian says, “1. Express, don’t expect,” she talks about expressing what you are in the relationship with that person or where you want to be as far as stages go instead of just expecting something that may not be the case. She later says, “2. Find out what the other person is looking for”  Dr. Kederian expresses the importance of the other persons feelings as they are just as important as your own when searching for what you really are together.

All in all, there are many ways to help work through relationships of many kids or starting that process of dating with the help of tips and tricks or step by step guides to make that process a bit easier.