KDR

Over the past week it has been interesting to hear student voices in response to the Kappa Delta Rho Facebook page. I’m still trying to form my own opinions surrounding the issue. I’ve heard every viewpoint from outright rage over the non-consensual photographs taken of partially naked women to the victim blaming viewpoint that those girls should not have put themselves in that position in the first place. What I’m wondering is this: are the highly inappropriate actions of the KDR frat brother’s criminal? People put photographs up online of people everyday without consent. There have been terribly embarrassing photographs of me put on Facebook, without my consent. Luckily, Facebook has the tag approval option so if I don’t like a photo someone added, I don’t have to be tagged in it, but still, there’s nothing stopping someone from putting up a photo that you maybe didn’t want online. What I’ve learned is that in the age of social media, if you aren’t around a group of close friends whom you trust entirely, your actions must always align with the characteristics you wish to portray to the public. That means, never lose control. Generally, I think that’s a rule adults should follow.

College though… In college, things get a little tricky. Especially as a freshman, I remember feeling an intense pressure to fit in. I wanted to be in with a ‘cool crowd’. I wanted to party, to be completely independent of my parents. I remember going to fraternities and having a lot of fun, but I also remember ignoring my intuition at times when things seemed a little sketchy. At some point I learned that the actions of a few of the people I was around were not actions I wanted to be around- hazing, casual sex, binge drinking, and drugs. I had a friend who was a pledge at a fraternity who was hazed. He had LAUNDRY DETERGENT poured into his eyes! Talk about sick. I couldn’t be around those people so I moved forward and formed relationships with people in other organizations. I applied for PLA. I busied myself with classes and remembered my drive to succeed far outweighed my drive to be ‘cool’ or to fit in with a certain crowd. I remember hearing from Scott Fried- you are enough. That struck me at the time. I changed. But some people never did, and those are the people I feel for. Those are the KDR frat boys and the women involved in their ‘fun.’

I’m angry. I’m disappointed. That we have people at Penn State who are jerks, who fail to respect others, who do not know the difference between right and wrong, this makes me upset, but I am far, far, from surprised. As far as the legality of the posted photos, I’m not sure if that would be considered a crime. It’s a grey area for me, especially because those photos were posted in a group meant to be private. Still, that doesn’t make it okay. This is a cultural attitude of hostility and disrespect towards women that needs to be eradicated from Penn State and other institutions. But how? How do you stop someone from being a jerk? How do you make someone good? How can you teach someone respect, kindness and love of others?

Many students appear to want all 144 members of the Facebook page expelled from Penn State. And I agree that it’s unfair for someone with no apparent morality to graduate with a degree from the same institution as myself, but what does expelling those men accomplish? That may very well lead 144 men to have a dismal and unfulfilled future. (Which may be what they deserve, but how does that help anyone?) Instead of insisting that these students be expelled, I think the student body should be brainstorming ways in which we can change the fabric of our organization’s cultures and values. I think part of the solution has to be more structured guidelines for students about expected behaviors. And then, there needs to be more obligations for students in their first semester to experience cultural events outside of the classroom where they are more likely to be exposed to positive influences. I’m not sure what the best way for our university to proceed is, but I think it has to start with putting yourself in the shoes of the students. Think about who is vulnerable to high risk drinking and high risk behavior and figure out more methods to positively intervene in these students lives before they get sucked into a negatively fueled group.