Coming to school my junior year, I was ecstatic and filled with excitement to begin the semester. Having had two years at Penn State under my belt, I truly felt like I knew the ropes of the school, what I wanted from my professors, and how my career would play out after graduation. I already had two high-caliber summer internships – for which I truly had to work hard to attain – but now as a junior, it was my time to have the ‘pick of the litter’ for job opportunities. I had developed this plan before even setting foot on campus in the fall. My master plan.
The plan I had created involved several steps that would lead me to career success. Beginning in junior year, I was focused to succeed in my first actuarial class and also build from my internships in retirement consulting and reinsurance (insurance for insurance companies) to attain the high profile consulting internship with Deloitte in human capital. With that experience on a resume, working in higher management roles would be much easier and assuming that the certification exams are being passed then there would be nothing stopping me from the highest rankings. However, when I was going through their interview process, I was rejected after the first round of interviews. Even applying to each of my back-up companies, I never made it to the final offer. I was also not succeeding in the course, and a few times my difficulties in the class made me question my ability to even continue in the major and the field overall. The fall semester of my junior year seemed like a very dark time for me overall. I struggled greatly in my first actuarial class, and I was still somehow having difficulties finding an internship. I was devastated and depressed.
…
It has been a whole year since that time for me, and now as a senior, I have had a lot of personal growth since then. To me during this time, I was solely focused on having my own plan success work, and I was not looking to the bigger picture of maybe how I needed to change as well. The fall semester of my junior was not a devastating time for me in retrospect, merely just a time where I needed to get out of my childish way of thinking. I felt seemingly overconfident in myself that I knew what I wanted out of life and I knew how to exactly get it, but that was not the case.
That semester, my classes were reasonably difficult, but it helped me to deeply ingrain myself into the concepts and understand how to apply it easily to the real world. I also had to continue to grow and recognize my own inefficiencies of managing my time, and it is something now that I am always working to improve. The result of not attaining any of the several internships that I was initially looking towards involved me studying abroad to Fiji over the summer and working a phenomenal internship with AIG in New York City. I would have never had the opportunity to study abroad given my other internships. Not to mention, the AIG internship gave me so much incredible experience and exposure that I easily accepted their full-time offer when it was provided. Lastly, I will also have opportunities to be engaged with a non-profit learning center once I move to New York. The opportunities in front of me now are truly much better than what I even thought that I was losing originally.
My career aspirations do not have to follow one cookie-cutter method to success, and my own plan had to fall to pieces for something to turn out better than I could have imagined. It was necessary to recognize that getting what I want out of life is not always what I need at the moment, and no matter how bad a situation seems there is always going to be a better day. I am excited for the future of my career, and I know that however it progresses through the years it will be for the best.
Kenny,
My comment will likely echo all of the previous comments, but it’s no trivial coincidence that so many people have chosen to enthusiastically comment on your post this week. You display some truly honest and humble reflection and it is both encouraging and inspiring for those of us going through similar situations or who have experienced similar situations in the past. Your thoughts are relevant to everyone since we all have a tendency to plan our futures and our direction—almost always to be foiled by fate. I’m deeply impressed with your openness on this matter and your willingness to share some of your plans to fell through and the results of this experience. I know I certainly am well-acquainted with this general progression of events from scheming to solidifying plans to things changing. I think we’re often reluctant to share about these twists of fate because in hindsight our little schemes often seem shortsighted and silly and even just childish. But the capacity to commit some serious reflection to this issue and the openness to honestly share about it will serve you well. I think this is the only way we can overcome, even if only for a brief time, the perpetual cycle of planning, being wrong, and changing course. I heard someone refer to this cycle of events once as “the fiction we live,” and I think the description is apt. If we’re able to recognize the capacity for fiction to reflect reality and teach us a lesson or offer insight about ourselves, we can benefit immensely from grappling with it in earnest. Again, I’m very impressed with the mature humanity you’ve displayed in this reflection and it is personally inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
Kenny-
Thank you for writing this blog! It’s true that most people in PLA have had to adapt and take non-traditional paths with internships and other forms of involvement on campus that sometimes are unplanned and unexpected. I think this is scary at times because it’s easier to have a cookie cutter path like many other people. But your work is an example that if you follow your path and are passionate about you work, everything will work out in its own way. As seniors it’s good to reflect on the past few years and the lessons learned that helped us become successful at Penn State. Thanks for sharing about your academic journey. You have been very successful and I respect how hard you have had to work in your major. I’m happy for you to start your new job after graduation!
Ari
Heya Kenny,
It was great getting to catch up last week, and I’m buoyed to know about the ways that you’ve taken those challenges and found that even when things don’t go exactly as planned, when you put in the hard work and dedication to build a foundation for success, things work out. I’m stoked that you’ve found an opportunity that you’re really excited for as your start your career, and I also know that thanks to this, you’ll be able to stay positive, even if things aren’t going perfectly at some point in the future.
Best of luck with everything, and never be afraid to take a step back and breathe.
Cheers!
~Nic
Kenny,
I’m going to echo all of the other comments by saying that I really appreciated your blog post. I think that a lot of people become extremely reluctant when something doesn’t workout for them, which should never be the case. I think that a lot of people don’t really understand what they want and aren’t aware of things that are actually better for them. For example, I always thought that I wanted to go to an Ivy League school with a small student population because there is going to be more hands on experience. Instead, I got rejected to all the Ivy league schools I applied to and went to Penn State. After going here, I know that this was the perfect choice for me. I can’t imagine being in a small school (too similar to high school) and I doubt I would be as happy there as I am here.
If one thing doesn’t work. Work hard and expect something else to work out for you. Also, I’m a big believer in fate: if something doesn’t work out, there must be something else better that’s planned.
Kenny,
I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share person moments and transitions. Having known you for quite some time, I think you have done a great job balancing the demands and responsibilities that our college careers have included even if it might not have always seemed that way to you.
I think its always important to remember the importance of not only success and good moments, but difficult times and uncomfortable moments for growth’s sake.
I enjoyed reading this post because your recap within a different perspective highlights your growth all the more. The opportunities birthed from a difficult time were also amazing as well and allowed you to be positioned where you are suppose to be at this point in your life.
As your friend and through the conversations we have had, we both know that our aspirations are not exactly said to be “cookie -cutter”. I think it’s best if that is something that we continue to embrace .
Great Post.
Kenny,
It’s somewhat relieving to hear someone confirm that despite the amount of planning you do, it’s not certain that you’ll go down that path. It’s almost a foolish and pompous endeavor that many success-oriented people can plan in–to think that we know what path is best for us, and this path is a linear one that we can take perfect steps towards. I say it’s foolish and pompous because the world is full of innumerable forces–natural, physical, intangible–that are all capable of nudging us off of our “planned” paths. I’m glad you see the beauty in being knocked off of yours. I hope you enjoy the rest of your senior year!
-Luke
Kenny you articulated perfectly what so many people go through. I am going through a similar struggle and I am recognizing in retrospect that it is not as bad as I thought. The important part of the adjustment is the actual change of thought that has to happen. We have these one track plans that seem like the only thing between us and the success at the end is time. Then life hits us and it turns out this one track plan we had is flipped completely upside-down.
This was such an important lesson for you and for all of us. Although, I do believe it is always important to have a plan, goals and aspirations, those thoughts cannot limit us from seeing other paths. I wrote about a poem last week that I defer to in many of the crossroads I come to in my life and I think there is a line that relates to this situation perfectly.
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
Link to the full poem is down below. Thanks for sharing Kenny!
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772
Kenny,
This post gets at a lot of what I am facing as a senior. Sure, I knew I wanted to do Teach for America since my sophomore year of college, but similarly, not getting internships has put me on a better and clearer path, in terms of my future aspirations.
Thank you for being so honest in this post. Often times, I find that it is much easier to write a very optimistic post, and act as if we have not faced our share of setbacks. Your being honest in this post resonates with other students, in various ways. I think that’s one of the best things about college though, you truly do find yourself and your passions, especially through your setbacks. I know that has been my experiences and it seems the same can be said for other students. Thank you for this post! It reminds us all that things will work out just fine in the end.
Kenny,
I am currently going through a period when what I expected is not what is actually happening. It is very reassuring to hear from a older member of PLA who went through a similar experience. I also think it is very good that our lives do not end up exactly as we plan out as freshman and sophomores in college. College is a time to expand your horizon and learn about many different things. If we stuck to the plan that we develop at a young age, we may miss some of the things that will become large parts of our lives in the future.
After reading this I am much more willing to relax and see what the summer has in store for me instead of stressing about the opportunities I did not receive. Thank you for your well timed blog post to help me out!
Kenny,
Thanks for a great post about your past experience as a junior. Your circumstance reminds me of an inspirational quote from the novel, Of Mice and Men, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray”. This may sound grim, but it has been one of the principle governing ideologies of my life so far. I too, have planned meticulously to reach certain goals and dreams but many of them failed miserably due to unforeseen circumstances or just plain bad luck. A closed door is an opportunity in disguise to discover many more and I hope you realized that despite your inability to get an internship at Deloitte. As an aspiring CPA, Deloitte is one of my top potential employers and I hope to use your example as a reminder to be prepared and face downfalls with determination and drive.
Kenny,
First off, I am so happy that everything seemed to work out in the end. Im sure your junior year was really stressful and I can’t imagine trying to re-figure everything out after you had worked so hard to set up what you wanted. With that being said, what a great learning experience. I am sure that you will remember this for you entire life and not to panic when things don’t go perfectly.
Thank you for sharing this with us. Being a sophomore now I don’t really know what I want to do yet so hearing that you are doing something that you never thought you would be doing is really encouraging! I am sure you will excel in anything that you chose to do! Congratulations on your job in New York! What a fun place to live/work right out of college! I hope everything with your first true job goes well!!
Brittany