I have been reading the book “7 Habits for Highly Effective People” because I have recently found myself struggling to find out what direction I would like to go for this summer and where I can make meaningful change. So why not try to make meaning change in my life? The book offers lots of thought provoking concepts, exploring the conceptual difference between character and personality and explaining how it lays the foundation of how we individually develop.
However there was one paragraph that really stuck out to me, so much so that I had to put down the book and call a couple of my friends to discuss the concept with them. The book was explaining the difference between love as a verb and as a noun. The noun is the things people gravitate towards and idolize because it makes us feel good to know that we are special to another person that we also believe is special. Love as a noun is intoxicating and highly emotional that can take over our mind, body, and spirit. We have all been there. But the book goes on to say that this type of love lacks depth and substance because it is just based on a feeling rather than effort. Which is why when people feel like they have fallen “out of love” they think the answer is divorce or break off the relationship. They didn’t understand the processes of loving, the verb. Loving is hard because it doesn’t feel like love until much later. Loving someone takes effort when you’re exhausted, patience when you’re annoyed, and understanding when you’re frustrated. Loving is the ultimate action of empathy and selflessness.
So I leave you today to think about the relationships that you believe have gone cold and distant that use to feel warm and fuzzy. Maybe they just need a little love to rekindle the flame, even thought lighting the match might take a few tries. But if you really believe that it is working reigniting then it is.
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