The end of junior year is tough. You’re applying for top leadership positions in your organizations, deciding what direction to take in a year (and if that direction is further education, starting to narrow down schools and secure letters of recommendation), lining up internships and other real-world experiences, and of course taking important major-specific classes. But I think one of the worst parts about it is that you’re doing all this knowing that your friends and peer mentors a year older than you are getting ready to graduate and truly enter the real world. You’re stepping into positions as the people who previously held those positions are graduating; you’re trying to figure out what you will do in the future while watching your friends make definitive plans for their future; and you’re realizing that next year you will have to do all of this without having them close by. The people you met at the beginning of freshmen year that served as your orientation leaders, or who recruited you for an organization you joined and then became your best friends who encouraged you and helped you find your passion are leaving you to figure out the last year on your own. They are moving on without you and you are stuck behind to carry on their legacy in some cases, or to find a new path without them in others.
This year, my three roommates are all seniors. In a month, they will be graduating and leaving me, and I will stick around in State College for another year. These three people got me involved in Springfield and kept me there; have been my cheerleaders as I pushed myself academically; have been my sounding board as I made difficult decisions in leadership; have acted as “mom” and told me to take some time for myself; and have generally been some of the best peer mentors and role models I could have asked to have as best friends/roommates. Next year is going to be difficult, and I already don’t love the idea of doing it without them. However, at the same time I am so proud of how far I have come in the less than three years I have known them and want to use next year to prove to them their impact on me.
As we approach the end of Spring semester, I can’t help but think about how much everything is changing and how soon it is happening. However, I also can’t help but think about what they have taught me about senior year. I always kind of knew in an abstract way that senior year is difficult and different, but it’s hard to understand that when you’re not a senior. I’m still a non-senior, but I’m close to seniors and they talk about it. I’ve learned that part of senior year is figuring out where you stand—you are still an important part of campus, but you are starting to seriously develop a life beyond campus, and part of senior year is straddling that line. By the end of senior year, they are ready to leave because they know that campus isn’t their entire life and they are excited for the next step. This is difficult for the people who have to see their friends leave, but is probably the healthiest thing seniors can do. Seniors in Schreyer are focused on writing their thesis (especially in the middle of Spring semester). They are researching, analyzing, writing, rewriting, meeting with advisors, editing, reformatting, and editing again—all so the work they have put into their first 3.5 years of Schreyer can be worth it when they hit the gong and get their medal. I know it sounds weird, but seeing my friends work through their theses and get excited about their research actually made me excited for the further independence of senior year.
In summary, it’s kind of weird to be a junior living with seniors but I wouldn’t have done this year any differently. These friends taught me so much before this year, but I learned infinitely more by living with them about how to handle senior year effectively and gracefully. I also learned that it is completely acceptable and even encouraged to freak out about your future and question what you want to do—that’s part of the process. I have no idea if being a senior living with a junior teaches you anything at all, but I hope I was able to repay them by acting as a sounding board and that they can see the effect they’ve had on me. Leigh and Megan (and Rachel), thanks for being great senior roommates to your baby non-senior roommate. Here’s to a successful last month.
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