I think it’s easy sometimes to get stuck in the trap of making fear based decisions. I define a fear based decision as a decision that is guided by wanting to avoid something or a decision based on a feeling of insecurity or being less than. Fear based decisions don’t really encourage you to explore, step outside your comfort zone, or seek new experiences. All of these more challenging experiences necessitate a comfortable sense of self and one’s abilities. Fear based decisions undermine this.
I do think it’s important to acknowledge why one would feel fear in any situation. Fear and any sort of emotion are indicators. Why one feels fear, should be thoughtfully evaluated though. Sometimes it’s for very good reasons and you should not pursue that actions, take that job, or go on that adventure. If you’re fearful because you are feeling imposter syndrome or sense that you’re not capable of succeeding in a job, this should be peeled apart. For me, things like confidence and questioning my abilities sometimes skew my sense of what I’m truly capable of. For example, two summers ago I worked as a raft guide in rural North Carolina. The work was physically demanding and males hugely dominated the workplace. This made me feel as thought I wasn’t really capable of succeeding and was totally outside of my comfort zone. My family really encouraged me to take the job even thought I was very hesitant. I was so happy that I did so because I ended up learning so much about myself, outdoor adventure recreation, rafting and boating, and working and living outdoors. A following a fear based decision would’ve stopped me from doing all of those things.
I’m personally going to try to become more aware of when I’m making fear based decisions. I’m instead going to attempt to pursue a life of insights and adventure driven by curiosity. I’m going to just become aware of when I feel fear about decisions and attempt to curtail and evaluate why I am feeling such a way.
Hi Tessa,
I truly enjoyed this post because it posed a question that I have yet to explore within myself: what is the value of fear when making decisions? After some reflection, I tend to agree predominantly with your assertion that fear can be a deterrent to some of the best life experiences. Specific fears such as the fear of inadequacy or the fear of failure should never drive one’s decisions in my opinion. Some of the greatest experiences that life has to offer come with a fear (and possibility) of failure, hurt, or rejection. However, fear alone should never be a deterrent. Otherwise, you would never experience the joys of companionship or the adrenaline rush while skiing. At what point, is a regretful ridden life worth living?
However, I should acknowledge fear’s valuable, evolutionary origin. In the developed first world, common fears seem relatively minor. There is little need for self-preservation-oriented thought due to such a high standard of living and access to basic luxuries like education. Sometimes though, fear is necessary; a lack of fear may be a symbol of privilege. For example, I would never argue that women should not fear being catcalled at night. Rape is a prevalent reality of our society. Therefore, fear has its utility. Overall, I have come the conclusion that fear should typically be disregarded. The only exception seems to be in terms of physical danger. There is a reason we are afraid to touch the stove.
Tessa,
I enjoyed the theme of your blog today! A prominent issue in society today that I think ties in heavily with the theme of fear based decisions is Gun Control. On one end, there are those who want to have stricter gun control in order to prevent people from getting hurt in homicides and mass shootings. On the other end there are those that feel that having a gun is a means to protect and provide for their family. What is interesting is that both groups of people hold the same values of taking care of the people around you, but have come to different conclusions based on their upbringing. In both cases, I think the fear of guns or the fear of losing guns prevents productive conversations from happening, which could be partially alleviated by being aware of our emotions.