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Have I failed at blogging? I considered this question a few minutes ago, when my phone alarm labeled “PLA Blog” buzzed. It goes off every Sunday at 9pm and is accompanied by one at 11pm and a third one at 11:30pm. In the past, I’ve written blogs under extreme time crunch: churning out a blog in seven minutes or frantically posting a comment after reading the shortest blog I could find. My new method works better, but it’s still fallible. Just last week, I posted a blog I wasn’t proud of hours after the deadline.

I had a peak blogging period. In the summer after sophomore year, I went abroad to France. I posted blogs every other week. Upon returning to campus, I still had to blog, but I wasn’t in a PLA class. The blogs I wrote that summer and fall were good blogs, by my standards. Classics in my blog canon (if you consider these blogs a canon), such as “Two Days Early,” “Eating with My Left Hand,” and “Maybe You Gazed at Emmett Till,” come from that period. There are few blogs outside of that period, and none that come to my mind, that I would deem quality, reflective writing.

As we continue to discuss failure and how we are going to accomplish what we want in our lives during class, I think about these blogs. Last week, I was going to write an insightful blog on Yom Kippur and my personal relationship with the holiday. Instead I rushed through some other topic which I did not care about and do not remember. Even now, as I sit to write this blog, I find myself struggling to reflect on how view blogging. At times, I loved it. I would read fascinating authors and use the blogs as a space for me to explore writing in their styles. I had topics I wanted to write about and things I yearned to share. I still do. But I’m tired of writing about it. All the applications I have to fill out ask multiple different ways for introspective writing. I’m tired of looking inward for the purpose of presenting myself to the world. I like to look inward to look inward.

In class this week, I had a wonderful conversation with Chris. We discussed some great topics: getting funding, living on 24 hours a day, and scheduling leisure. I really enjoyed the conversation, and I hope Chris did, too. But, I have nothing to blog about from it. It was a great moment in the present and trying to warp that moment into a reflective blog would ruin it. Sometimes, we can fail at blogging to succeed at living. A bold and rather unsubstantiated claim based off the scant evidence I give in this blog? Yes. How I’m going to end this blog? Also yes.