I went to SOC 119 with a friend because I heard how good of a class it was. In class, they had Sam’s friend Bosim talk about his family and the tragic event that happened. During the class, he talks about how he has forgiven the people who hurt them and him. I can only imagine how hard it would be to forgive them. I am not sure if I would be able to do it, or it may take me longer to forgive.
He talks about, during class how he had friends who have called him a coward for forgiveness and that they would not be able to forgive. Then he said how they were not happy. He talked a little bit about how they were resentful and not happy. And this comment stuck with me. I know I would eventually have to forgive people for what they did if they hurt me because I mentally would suffer, with the weight of what they did. Now there is more to this than just saying I forgive someone. I would have to come to terms with what they did, depending on what they did and how bad it was and then forgive them.
Now I wonder why it is hard for others to forgive. I know some people are very against forgiving people who have done great wrong against them and some people say to forgive. Now I was wondering why it is difficult for the people who do not want to forgive, to forgive people, how do they handle the weight of what the other person did to them? This article called Why is it so Hard to Forgive? (Links to an external site.) says “Human behavior suggests that people are hardwired to retaliate when they have been hurt by another person…We lose something very valuable to us and want recompense for the damages.” They said that forgiveness has a huge impact on our health and emotional wellbeing. “The act of forgiving another is less about the other person as it is about our own hearts.”
It is hard for people to forgive, and while I think that people should be able to believe what they wish, I think people should move towards becoming more forgiving. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger is anything. It shows that you are in control of your life. I’ve forgiven people who have hurt me and if I’m honest it took time or an apology. Forgiving doesn’t mean that you go back to the way things are, but that you’re moving on.
Hi Tiffany,
I loved this blog post. It immediately reminded me of a photo I saw the other day which stated, “What is the hardest for you to say: I am sorry, I love you, I hate you, I need help, or I forgive you.” And given what you said, I think the important part is realizing why it is so hard to, in this case, forgive someone, and what is holding you back from wanting to forgive. I also agree with what you mentioned on the fact that many people often see forgiveness as losing their power but in reality, you gain the power back by putting your mental health and sanity first. Moving on can be hard for many people, and I think that just realizing what is hard for you to do such as forgiving someone or asking for help is a step in the right direction to discover some deeper things or reasons as to why these things are hard.
Best,
Emily