Something I am working on a lot this semester is to lean in to my struggle. As a total type-A perfectionist, the concept of struggling is BAD in my mind, end of story. I need to be on top of my game, homework done ahead of time, or else I feel totally out of control. Well, out of control I am. Something I am learning that I do is when I feel that way, I just shut down. For example, last week was a long one with assisngments and organizational responsibilities. Once I got done everything that needed to be done, I was so emotionally exhausted from the anxiety that came with it that I shirked other responsibilities. Case and point, this blog which is going up almost 12 hours late (please forgive me PLA!). I am learning that by freaking out about certain repsonsibilities that give me stress, I am putting all my energy into the worry and forgetting to look ahead and stay on track with those things that aren’t stressful but still necessary.
The feeling of being overwhelmed is one that I absolutely hate, but I think I avoid at too high a cost. This semester, in order to not feel overwhelmed, I didn’t apply for a leadership position that I really wanted. And, honestly, I regret it a lot. I know I could have handled it if I had planned ahead for the time commitment, and I regret not getting to lead in an organization I really care about. This lesson has showed me, without a doubt, that although I deeply feel being overwhelmed, I moreso dislike missing great opportunities. And, I know I have the skills to handle stress, but sometimes am so myopic that I forget to use them.
So, what am I doing with this lesson that is slowly dawning on me? Well, I am making it a mission to be so prepared that I stop getting trapped in the toxic cycle of stress that keeps sneaking up on me. And, as much as I can, I am trying to let myself go with the flow so as not to expend all my emotional energy on worry and stress (this one will be tough for me). Try as I might, I know I will never stop being type-A, and I don’t want to be. However, I do know that I want to be able to juggle all the things I want to do without having a breakdown or missing critical assignments and jobs. I am working on finding this balance, and getting on top of my life, even when other things are going on. I am going to lean in to the struggle, embrace the chaotic journey, and remember that even when I feel crazed and stressed, life is still going on and I am able to handle it.
Hi Allie!
I’m the same way–I cope terribly with stress and have been doing so for such a long time that I have started to notice things that are typically associated with more severe cases (my physical health has started to suffer too). I have found it very hard to plan ahead because I know how poorly that’s worked for me in the past (my plans always seem to fall apart) so I wallow in this medium between living like a robot and wallowing in self-pity and stress (and the middle isn’t too hot either).
Recalling on my previous experiences, though, has made me realize a few things (and hopefully these are helpful for you too!):
I always feel better with my friends.
When you need the help or the advice, ask for it! I’m sure you would do the same for them, so don’t feel afraid to ask (even me!).
I read at one point something that kind of shocked me back into reality:
Before you freak out about stress and slide into the slippery slope, make sure you have the following five things: 1) you’re hydrated and drinking enough water, 2) you have eaten and you aren’t hungry, 3) you’re exercising and moving around, 4) you’ve been outside and seen the sun or some plants or anything alive, and 5) you’ve seen some friends.
Hope this all helps, and thanks for sharing!! (it’s comforting to know I’m not alone)
Laura
Laura,
I actually really like your advice (especially from my view as a fitness instructor). Stress has real effects on your body. There is ‘healthy’ stress, the kind that makes you do you work and then unhealthy stress which give anxiety, physically and mentally hurts your body. There is a healthy balance and Laura, you outlined healthy ways to take a step back from letting stress get unhealthy.