As much as I would like to write this blog post about the AMAZING lineup we had this year for my final Movin On concert, I am actually going to talk about the new stage of my life that I am about to begin. I am still in denial that I am graduating from the most amazing school in the country in three weeks. This school has become a part of my heart and soul. I have spent most of my breaks from college courses at Penn State or participating in PSU sanctioned events from leading backpacking trips to studying abroad. I cannot believe that my home will not be my home anymore. This experience has gone by so fast and I have changed so much that I cannot image who I would have become without this school and PLA. I came to college a boy obsessed, lone wolf, nursing student and now I am graduating as a strong woman who is not afraid to rely on others and has decided to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming a physician. I do not think I could have predicted all that was in store for me at Penn State and I do not regret a single minute I spent. I have overextended myself pretty much all of my college career, but I know that I got everything I could have possibly gotten out of Penn State. I have taught courses, created courses, been a mentor, been in leadership roles, volunteered, went on trips to three different continents and still managed to get some 4.0’s along the way. I could not have done all of these amazing things without Penn State, my friends, and most importantly my family. Penn State has shown me that I can do so much more than I ever thought I could and that I truly can make a difference. But Penn State also introduced me to people who taught me it is okay to be vulnerable, it is okay to be sad, it is okay to ask for help and it is okay to not feel worthy all that time, but no matter how I feel I know I am worthy now. Although I still sometimes feel that I need to prove my worth and list all my accomplishments for people to take me seriously; I still have those kick ass accomplishments to be able to rattle off because of Penn State.

Penn State has also shown me how fabulous my family is, especially during these unprecedented times in quarantine. I absolutely love being home and spending quality time with them. They let me do my work all day, but then we play games at night and go on walks. I haven’t had this much time to talk to and genuinely hang out with my family in about 4 years. (My parents also clean up after me which is super amazing and I have never appreciated a dishwasher so much in my life) I know most people are figuring out anyway to get out of their childhood home but honestly, I love it. Quarantine at home has actually made me wish that all of my family members were here because with 3 siblings there is never a dull moment.

I am not just moving on from college, but also my lifelong home. In less than a month I will no longer be living in the only home I know. With all the kiddos gone, my parents are moving into a smaller house in a 55 and over community. My younger sister and I are still not on board, but I guess they have to do what they have to do. With college ending, moving into a new house, and all of my friends dispersing across the span of the United States I am a little bit scared of what is next. I am sad that my last few weeks with my friends were taken and that I may never be a 5 to 15-minute walk away from all of them ever again. I am really, really, really looking forward to (hopefully) matriculating into medical school in Fall 20201, but it is hard not to be sad about all of the endings that are happening. I know that I will see the people who I care about again, but it is hard not knowing when or how I am going to get there.

I do have exciting things coming up, but the magnitude of all these changes has been weighing on me more and more. I have to start accepting that I am graduating, that I am applying for medical school in a month, and that I am leaving the place that stole my heart four years ago.