My last PLA blog post! Like most everything these days, it feels a bit surreal. PLA blogs have been a consistent part of my life for the past three years, but today I write my final one. Goodbyes are hard, and my week ahead marks the start of a few more weeks with many of them. One of the more difficult goodbyes will be to PLA – and most significantly, the people in this family of sorts.
I will miss PLA a lot – I have learned and grown a ton here. Because my first year was completed online from home, I truly don’t know life on Penn State’s campus without PLA. On a recent form to fill out for our Certificate Ceremony, I was asked to share my favorite PLA memory. I sat at my computer for a long time, struggling to identify one moment as my favorite from this entire experience. As I reflected over my PLA experience, my mind eventually went to the very beginning of my time in PLA: walking into my first HONOR 201 course.
Our HONOR 201 class was held in the basement of Althouse Lab, and on that first day of class I could not find the correct room. Having been at home my first year, I did not really know anyone who was in my PLA cohort, and I remember being deeply, seriously nervous for this first class. It was late August (in those days when its impossible not to get hot and sweaty as you walk around campus) and I felt so out of place as I tried to find the room to meet President Barron. When I finally did figure out where to go and was one of the last ones to enter the room, I will not forget making my best attempt to appear calm and collected as I walked in and picked an open seat at one of the back high tables since there were not enough in the middle ring. It took several weeks before I started to feel a bit more comfortable in the class, and I give credit to our trip that spring to NYC when I first really felt like PLA was a place where I had genuine community.
To think of those early days makes me smile now, having found some of best friends in PLA and having learned a ton through the experiences I’ve been fortunate enough to be a part of. While I may not be able to pick a single favorite moment, what I do know if that my time in PLA has been uniquely formative – and I count that as my favorite thing during my time at PSU. I had no way of knowing how valuable PLA would be when I first applied for this opportunity, and I truly thank God for the chance to be a part of such an incredible group of people.
I took some time to skim through the blogs I’ve written over the course of my time here, which was a special way to go back in time to what I was thinking and feeling during my college career. My topics have ranged from finding a sense of home in State College, facing professional disappointments and difficult loss of relationships, enjoying different travel opportunities, and navigating the consistent demands on my time that came along with college. College has not been easy, but it has been good. As a culture, we throw around the word “good” a lot, but anymore I’m finding the word good – to describe something that is truly, deeply, and consistently positive amidst ever-changing circumstances – to be one of the simple and most clear ways to describe my feelings now.
In five days, I wrap up student teaching and say goodbye to the people I’ve grown to love here. In eight days, we have the Certificate Ceremony and conclude our time in PLA. In 21 days, I graduate and say goodbye to this chapter at Penn State. In 35 days, my younger sister gets married, and I say goodbye to the family dynamic I’ve known my whole life and enter a new one where it will be just me moved back home with my parents, not yet knowing exactly what the future holds. Even when the occasions are happy and rooted in celebration, goodbyes are hard!
Despite a rather crazy road ahead, I feel a sense of peace. Things will not be the same for much longer, and regardless of where we go from here my life is going to look a lot different than what I’ve known before! There are times where I find myself trying to hang on tight to what I love about this current phase, but I also know that there is a time for all things – including change. Even in the end of many things, there is good to be found. I will always be grateful for PLA for helping me learn how to see this good.
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