I think names hold power. They carry your personality, your actions, your emotions, and the way people know you. Your name becomes part of your story. But what happens when you feel like you’ve changed, and your name doesn’t reflect who you are anymore?
Most people get their nicknames in elementary school, maybe even middle school, but rarely in high school. I started going by Kat my freshman year of high school, which was pretty late for a nickname. It started because I played three sports: volleyball, soccer, and softball. “Kat” was easier to shout across the field than “Kathleen,” so it stuck. Everyone started calling me Kat, except for my older friends. Eventually, that became who I was. And honestly, I liked it. It felt like I had entered a new era which was my high school, teenage version of myself.
Fast forward to my second semester of college (last semester), I stopped going by Kat. I’d actually prefer if people didn’t call me that anymore. My first semester (and even my summer semester) felt like a blur. I was adapting to an environment that was so new, where nothing felt familiar. I felt lost in my identity in the sense of who I was as a friend, student, daughter, and woman of faith. Being far from home made me rethink how I was living and what I was prioritizing. I stopped caring for my physical and mental health and lost sight of my faith. These were the very things that “Kat” had always embodied.
My second semester, though, was transformative. I made an intentional choice to let go of the name “Kat” because it reminded me of a version of myself who felt unsure and disconnected for that period of time. I started focusing on myself again by using wellness resources on campus, taking care of my health, and rebuilding my faith. For the first time since high school, I felt like I was stepping into a new era. The era is one filled with awareness, maturity, drive, and clarity.
All this to say, names really do hold significance. They reflect where we are and who we choose to be.
So if you ever get the chance, please call me Kathleen 😀
Hi, Kathleen! I loved reading this post and hearing about the connection and significance you place in your name! One’s name is really such an important part of their culture and identity, and it’s crucial that your name truly expresses who you are. A name change can be a difficult thing to do and a hard transition to execute, especially because it requires changing the perception of you in the minds of so many others. For those close to you, they may adapt to this change easily, but for the large number of acquaintances, it can be much harder. All in all, though, the ability to change your name is powerful. It allows you to present yourself to the world as you truly are.
My mind instantly went to how important this process is for trans people, as they shed their past identity that’s often riddled with pain, humiliation, and trauma. It’s so important for us as a society to support that process, and it makes me really happy to see that those around were supportive of your name change. I’m sure you had elements of your past identity that you wanted to leave behind with your old name.
There are times, too, when a name change can signify a loss of identity and an assimilation into a new culture. Many international students I know, especially from East Asia, often take on an “American name” when they immigrate here since their true name is too difficult for Americans to pronounce. They take on a new name to avoid racism and prejudice. Similarly, Native Americans in boarding schools were forced to undergo a similar process, and that was hardly a choice for them. It was a means of stripping them of their culture and adapting them to a colonial society.
You should feel incredibly lucky that you were able to execute this name change with such support! It’s such a powerful move, and I’m so excited to see you flourish in this new identity.
Kathleen, I love this blog. Names are so personal. I find it so fascinating when people take so much comfort in determining how we will identify to them. Often times, I’m “Dom” before an even second interaction with someone. Admittedly, I don’t truly mind it so much, but I always find it surprising people are to cut off over half my name. To my extended family, I’m “Nick” or “Nicky.” It reminds me how little I see them. I haven’t introduced myself with those names since before second grade. Of course, family nick names stick longer, but no one I am truly close with would ever think to call me those names. All this to say, I am happy you are taking your power back with your name. I think the way you choose to identify is essential to our comfort and confidence. Thank you for sharing this!